Lilly'sWorld

everyday life

2012-01-19T06:20:00.000-08:00

So we're back on the tv. Not crazy amounts, every day, but after a good 5 day stretch, I gave in. Lilly survived 5 weeknights without tv, but then a 4 day weekend was calling for something a little extra to fill our time.

Lilly did great though. It's not even an issue - we still haven't turned on the tv in the morning in over a week, and most weeknights, it's an afterthought if it turns on at all. Weekends are different: she can relax, unwind, watch the Muppets or Tangled or Lion King. But during the week, we've done a lot more puzzles, games, etc. It's more work on me to keep her stimulated and give her attention the whole afternoon/evening without a break, but it's been worth it.

I tried explaining to Lilly on Monday about Martin Luther King, Jr. They studied him at school last week, so he should be familiar to her. But instead, after listening to me for a few minutes, she asked to watch the Cosby Show. No problemo, little girl.

We went to the local theater's version of Hairspray on Saturday. A bunch of high schoolers performing, but it was still good. I just love the story and the music, so powerful, such a strong positive message. Inclusion. Integration. Life's problems solved by loving and dancing and singing, just as it should be. We are all more alike than different.

And finally, food. Since we've been more tv-restricted lately, it's a perfect time to insist on better meals together as a family. Mornings are just me and Lilly, but some nights Jon is around to join us for dinner, and we are sitting in the dining room these days. Lilly is helping to cook, and set the table herself. And interestingly, she is eating a lot more variety (although she seems to be eating less overall). She's not the pickiest kid ever, but she definitely has the foods she likes and the foods she doesn't. And in the past week, she's been a lot more willing to give different foods a chance. She's eaten strawberries, cereal, red pepper, squash, and zucchini, even though she formerly didn't like these foods. And she switched over to skim milk. And we've said adios to the sippy cup - which she didn't use exclusively, but we always fell back on it because it was easy for her to carry around or not spill - but now all drinking is done at the table so she's good with open cups, straws, etc. Overall, she's done a great job.

December 5, 2011: Hollywood Studios

2012-01-17T11:05:00.000-08:00

December 4, 2011: Magic Kingdom

2012-01-17T10:51:00.000-08:00

December 3, 2011: Epcot

2012-01-17T10:47:00.000-08:00

December 2, 2011: First day at Magic Kingdom

2012-01-17T10:34:00.000-08:00

tv... broken?!

2012-01-09T09:37:00.000-08:00

When we went to church yesterday, for the first half of mass Lilly begged us to go home so she could watch tv. After awhile she forgot tv and decided to participate and had a good time.

But the damage was done. Lilly's mommy decided that for the next week (or until I cave in a few days or hours), the tv is "broken." We unplugged it (at least while Lilly is awake) and there is no Elmo, no Sound of Music, nothing.

Last night when we got home from church, Lilly totally didn't mind that we switched up her nighttime routine by being unplugged. She sat with me and ate her dinner, colored, took a bath, brushed her teeth, got ready for bed, played a game, and read her story before going to bed. No bribes of tv watching were necessary, she didn't even miss it.

This morning, I was nervous. Usually Lilly eats her breakfast in the kitchen while I let the tv babysit her so I can get ready too. This morning, she didn't care that it wasn't an option. She went to the bathroom, brushed her teeth, got dressed, ate breakfast (kind of, she ate less than usual), and we made it to school - even though we were 10 minutes late. I managed to shower and put on a little makeup before she even got up, so I was with her the whole time as she got ready. The only thing I didn't have time for was my morning coffee and a bite to eat myself. But she did great.

I promised her "games" when she gets home from school. We have from 3:30 until 7:30 without any tv or computer, but she'll be fine without Annie or Camp Rock. I need to be more creative without it, but Lilly is just as happy. Yesterday we played the "pink or blue" game, separating all her old onesies into a "girl" and "boy" pile, for the baby. Her game before bedtime last night was seeing how fast she could take all the clothes and put them away into drawers. (We both declared that she "won" at the end. Not sure what the rules were though.)

Wish us luck as the week progresses... if we make it!

Evolution of a mommy

2012-01-06T17:06:00.000-08:00

Lilly's been my girl for 5 years now. When she came into this world, I didn't know what to expect. I knew hazily what Down syndrome was. I also knew what little Gembecki girls are like. I think we made a conscious decision to let Lilly just be herself, no matter what that meant, and to nourish her soul and build her confidence and be guided by God and pure instincts and give her all the love in the world.

Turned out to be a good plan. She is incredible.

We're not amazing parents. We make our mistakes, we lose patience, we often times have no idea what we're doing. Lilly probably doesn't eat enough vegetables, and some people wouldn't think it's bragworthy that Lilly has "Dirty Dancing" memorized, or a pillow with Zac Efron on it. But we've also made tons of good choices as well. We've built our own confidence in what the best decisions are for her and our family.

We have taken the road less traveled, in many ways. Ridiculous amounts of schooling (along with ridiculous student loans), and intense jobs. Interfaith marriage. Moving too frequently, to such diverse places, all far from family and friends. Being blessed with a child with Down syndrome.

Lilly took this picture of herself with her camera. She is quite the photographer.

Some of what comes with taking different paths is the freedom of independence. When Lilly was born, I didn't know how to be a mom in general - she was my first - and I also didn't know what it was like to have a child with quote "special needs." Turns out, Lilly's needs aren't very special at all, but we still gave ourselves the ability to do whatever we wanted with this parenthood thing. We gave her every opportunity and no judgments. We saw what she liked, and encouraged her. I never imagined taking a 4 year old to Broadway or a 5 year old to Europe, but somehow it just fit into our plan. (Meanwhile, we cut back on restaurants, haircuts, and new clothes to accommodate those "needs.")

I never took "no" for an answer. I never took someone else's opinion for the truth. I heard John Locke's character on Lost repeatedly say "Don't tell me what I can't do" and that became my mantra. Prove them wrong, Lilly. Prove them wrong, Lilly's mommy.

Lilly can't do everything in the world. No child can. But she has two parents who have the highest level of faith in her imaginable and that has taken her far. She is such a hard worker, a negotiator, an independent thinker. What she lacks in one area, she makes up for in excelling in another. Somewhere inside her she has the secret to success, and we should listen. She is my greatest teacher.

6 years ago, pregnant, I was scared of this child. No one I knew had anything positive to say. And, no one I knew had any experience with a child like Lilly, either. Ironic.

There was a point in the pregnancy when she started dancing in my belly. Silly, funny, I fell in love with all her moves. This child isn't bad, I thought. She's not negative, she's a tiny bit of joy in my belly - she is my future and my future looks bright with her in it. Not a mistake, not an accident, but a tremendous gift.

I've spent the past 5 and a half years loving her so completely. Do I ever worry about anything, have concerns? Yes. But is every single day still like waking up to Christmas morning? Absolutely. I still get so frustrated thinking of other moms in my position who aren't given better guidance and hope for their children. Moms who are given a tiny bit of negative misinformation, and vaguely told to make the best of it, or terminate their pregnancy.

What about love? Support? Faith? Real information coming from actual knowledge and experience?

I spent a pregnancy with so many fears for my child. I haven't spent a day - not a single minute - of her life actually thinking anything negative about her. She's just a kid to me, full of so much beauty and potential. Each day is a gift, with my little gift.

I watch my little girl float around the house with such confidence in herself. I see her learn new things - putting together more complicated puzzles, cooking tons of Christmas cookies (very independently), singing karaoke, modeling new clothes and asking me to take pictures of her. She is happy, well adjusted, has diverse interests. We are proud parents.

Each step of this journey, I didn't know what the next phase would hold. Each time we moved, each year she got older, would it get hard? But it hasn't. Lilly is still the little bit of joy that danced around in my belly, years ago. The biggest difference between the mommy I started as, and the mommy I am today, is that at the beginning I had blind faith - that everything would be ok - because it had to be. Now, I have a more certain faith, based on a very precious little girl, who has proven that she will be just fine. And amazing.

December 1: Getting there

2012-01-05T11:28:00.000-08:00

We left for Disney World at about 4 am on Thursday Dec 1, flight left the airport at 7 am and landed in Orlando at 9. Magical Express, the free bus service, was super easy and not crowded, and we arrived at our hotel before 11.

Our room was ready, and at that point - while Lilly had been super excited all morning - she was ready to crash. We convinced her to get a quick bite to eat with us at Beaches and Cream, but the whole time she said she was "sick" so after we scarfed down our food, we brought her back to the room to rest. We thought it was just her being exhausted from traveling, but realized that she really didn't feel good the whole trip. But while her body was a little sick, she still was such a good vacationer and had a fantastic time!

That night after a good nap, we went to dinner at Hoop de Doo Review - Jon's favorite for all their meat - and a cute show while you eat. Lilly still didn't feel good, and by this time developed a headache and fever. We sat through most of the show, and the waitress even brought Lilly a piece of toast which was the only thing she wanted. We left before dessert, but the server brought us some strawberry shortcake to go (it's included).

Lilly and I stopped off at the store at Fort Wilderness on our way back to the Yacht Club and Lilly took some medicine which helped. The three of us were in bed by 8pm that night - ready to get some much needed rest, and be ready for an early morning at Magic Kingdom the next day.

Daddy's Little Girl

2012-01-05T09:25:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time there was a little girl who adored her daddy. And her daddy worshiped her.

Note: Lilly's coat was mine (and my sisters!) and her dress belonged to me as well. She is so lucky that my mom saved our old clothes to pass on!

Disney Yacht Club Review

2011-12-11T11:21:00.000-08:00

Yes, we went to Disney World again. And it was oh so needed. It was planned a couple months ago as a "babymoon" - a time for Jon (and Lilly) and I to hang out in our current family status and to relax prior to baby coming this April. We went to WDW when I was 20 weeks pregnant with Lilly as well, almost 6 years ago, and thought it would bring us good luck.

After the last two weeks of November, the trip turned from "nice relaxing vacation that we don't totally need" to "oh my goodness I need a vacation." Plus, with all Lilly's hospital stuff it was nice reassuring her: "When we get through this, we're going to Disney World."

It was, as always, a wonderful vacation. Instead of getting into all the specifics- going to wait until I've uploaded and organized all the pictures - I'm going to first review our hotel, the Yacht Club.

Background: We've stayed at most Disney resorts. Pre-Lilly, I've stayed at the Contemporary, Grand Floridian, Boardwalk Villas, Old Key West, Swan/Dolphin, Wilderness Lodge, Fort Wilderness, Caribbean Beach, Port Orleans Riverside, and All Star Sports. (Yikes!) On our babymoon when I was pregnant with Lilly, we stayed at Wilderness Lodge and loved it - it was the end of January and it just feels so warm that time of year.

Since Lilly, we've stayed at Port Orleans Riverside (12 months), Saratoga Springs and Port Orleans French Quarter (20 months), Coronado (3rd birthday), Bay Lake (3 1/2), Polynesian (4th birthday), Polynesian (1 night before 5K race; the rest off property), Animal Kingdom Villas and 1 night at All Star Movies (4 1/2), and Polynesian (almost 5). It sounds ridiculous, right?

I love Polynesian - for its location and its atmosphere (I never liked it prior to actually vising the South Pacific/Fiji/New Zealand and now think it is amazing). But, I wanted to try something new. Grand Floridian was on my "potential" list - if it had a deep discount. I could be persuaded into Contemporary although not on my "must do" yet. Wilderness Lodge was high on my list since we stayed there when pregnant with Lilly and I love it, plus not too far from Magic Kingdom, but discounted rooms never were available. Animal Kingdom Lodge was available, but since we had just stayed at the AK Villas, I wanted to try something new. Coronado would have been a fine option, but it wasn't available, and in the winter I'd rather be in a traditional "hotel" style hotel, without having to be outside to get to different parts. And if we were doing a moderate this time, I'd rather be at Coronado than the Port Orleans' hotels and Caribbean Beach (just because I love Coronado, the other mods are definitely good), so we ruled them out. All Star was definitely not bad the times we've tried it, but when you do actually spend time in the room - like we were planning on doing on this somewhat relaxing trip - I'd rather be in a little nicer room. And for a "babymoon" kind of trip, I pictured a ton of walking the way we did 6 years ago, and while Saratoga Springs and Old Key West rooms are so nice, I'd rather be somewhere walkable to the parks. Boardwalk was a maybe, but for the same price, Yacht/Beach sounded better because of the pool.

We've wanted to stay at one of the hotels in the Boardwalk area for awhile now. So when I received a 35 percent off code, and looked to see what was available, Yacht Club popped out. Beach Club was available occasionally when I looked, but only club level rooms, which was more than we wanted for this vacation. So, I took a leap of faith and booked Yacht. And then I did some research.

And I got nervous. Everything I read talked about how far it is from things, how there isn't easy access to food. How it's great - for couples - but stuffy for families. How the pool is in fact amazing, but it would be too cold to use it, and Lilly would be too young to appreciate the slides anyway. But we were locked in, and I figured we'd give it a try.

It was amazing. Loved it. Might be Jon's favorite Disney resort.

I'll begin at the beginning. We woke up at 4:30 for our early 7 am flight and arrived in Orlando at 9 am. Love getting there early - we're exhausted at first but there are no lines for Magical Express and we have the whole day ahead of us. Lilly was in a great enthusiastic vacation mood - which is normal for her. Girl loves to travel. I got nervous when the Magical Express stopped at 3 or 4 other hotels first, dropping off tons of families to bustling hotels, and then we got to our resort.

Only 2 other people were still on the bus with us, and they got off with us. The front of the resort was totally dead. People were not coming and going, it was like a ghost town. I was nervous! A guy who worked there immediately came up to us before we even got inside, and asked our name. He walked us inside directly to the counter and, thanks go online check in, got everything for us in less than a minute. And - at 10 am - our room was ready! So, the fact that they weren't all that busy definitely worked in our favor. So far, all was good.

We got to our room and it was a beautiful water view room. Two queen size beds, a bathroom with a double sink, desk and sitting area. We overlooked the boardwalk on the first floor, it was a beautiful view. So far, all was good again.

Lilly ended up feeling sick the first couple days of the vacation, but it was so easy staying at the Yacht Club. We walked to Beaches and Cream to have an early lunch, but when Lilly didn't feel good, Jon walked back with her and we all took a nap.

It was really easy to walk to the Dolphin (they have a great spa there) and Boardwalk, and we were connected to the Beach Club. We easily walked to Epcot and it's only a slightly longer walk to Hollywood Studios. Buses to Magic Kingdom were fast (never more than a 5-10 minute wait, but we were lucky), and this time we skipped Animal Kingdom since we were only there for a short trip.

Regarding my food concerns, each morning the bar off the lobby has coffee, fruit, and baked goods set up for purchase, so we didn't have any problems finding something perfect for our family in the morning. The Beach Club next store has a quick service dining location, if we wanted something more, but we didn't - bagels, muffins, bananas, coffee, and milk were exactly what we wanted. We usually ate in the parks for lunch or dinner, and one night when we had a late lunch, we walked to the Boardwalk for a easy snack for dinner.

On my concerns that the Yacht Club was stuffy - it was and it wasn't. The atmosphere was more formal than the Beach Club and the other resorts, but it was absolutely kid friendly - the rooms, the cast members, the hotel generally has the Disney quality that we love - but at the same time, I felt that there were less families here than at other resorts, so it was nice to feel like we were at a quieter resort. They had a great TV setup in the lobby - they have this at all the resorts - but the kid sized chairs were better than any I had seen elsewhere, and Lilly loved hanging out there watching Mickey cartoons for a few minutes at the end of a long day. During the day - not sure what the hours were, but usually around 2 or 3 when we'd be walking by coming in from the parks, there was ice water and glasses for a couple hours (good tasting water, not Florida water) for guests to grab a cup, which was a nice touch. There is a nice store with the typical Disney merchandise and essentials.

The pool was nice, but we didn't get to use it very much as Lilly was sick and the weather was a little chilly, but in better circumstances it would be ideal - the water slides, a pool with sand on the bottom, lots of things to do. There were also events all day near the pool - kids activities, dance parties, etc, which we didn't do this time but would be nice to look into next time. Also each night there was a bon fire on the beach, and later a movie shown on the beach. It really is a nice resort - much more going on than I had anticipated, having previously only just walked in the lobby or passing it on the boardwalk.

The cast members were very helpful as well. My parents came down for one night and they easily printed out room keys for them just for the day/night. When Lilly was sick, we weren't sure if it would turn into something worse, and they gave us a bunch of brochures for nearby medical facilities, some with free transportation.

And speaking of free: free wireless internet in the rooms. Perfect. And probably more storage than anywhere we've stayed before, we all totally unpacked with room to spare. And the tv was so easy to use, Lilly was an expert by day 2. Beds - and bedding - were more comfortable than ever.

I couldn't "rate" any of the Disney hotels because I love them all, they all have their strengths and weaknesses, and I feel like at different times and for different people, different hotels are better for an individual trip. But I would recommend the Yacht Club to both couples and families. It was actually nice being able to walk to two parks and not wait for transportation or have to fold a stroller, so in that respect it was better than the monorail or other hotels, and I got tons of Disney World walking, which was good for my pregnant body. (I think we walked about 10 miles each day!)

The problem is, where do we stay next time? Next time being probably a year away, give or take, so once we meet this baby we might have a different list of criteria - but I'm thinking a 1 bedroom at one of the villas might be perfect.

Let me know if there are any questions regarding Yacht Club or any of the other Disney hotels!

The end of November

2011-12-11T11:00:00.001-08:00

The last half of November was crazy. Jon's schedule is always nuts, of course - being gone from 4:30 am until after 10 pm is not unusual these days, unfortunately, but he loves what he does and he's building a good practice - and reputation - so it is what it is. My work was busy as well in October and November (it's based on publishing schedules, so with my new temp status, some months are busy for me and some months I can completely take off). Plus, Jon was traveling for work right around the time that Lilly got croup. And bronchitis. And pneumonia. Mixed with her asthma. I was with her 24/7 - while still getting work done - making sure she was taking a dozen medications, giving her breathing treatments, etc. And we were in a minor car accident, randomly rear ended at a stopped light. And then Jon came home, just in time for Lilly to go in the hospital, needing oxygen for 3 days. We came home the Tuesday 2 days before Thanksgiving, and I spent Wednesday at home with her all day while Jon worked. As he put her to bed that evening, I suddenly had excruciating pain and we quickly dropped her off at the neighbor's house at 10 at night before going to the ER. Turns out, I had a kidney stone - and yes, they are more painful than labor - and Lilly was a 9 lb 8.4 oz baby! We were released from the hospital at 6 am Thanksgiving morning, in time to be exhausted without sleep, Lilly still recovering from her illnesses, and canceled our Thanksgiving plans in order to rest. Jon hit Whole Foods at 3 pm on Thanksgiving afternoon and luckily they were stocked with everything you'd need for a full traditional meal, ready to reheat. And luckily, Lilly and I had decorated the house for Thanksgiving so it was actually nice to be home, although it wasn't our original plans.

Two sickies - you can still see my hospital bracelets on from the night before.
Lulu and a fancy Thanksgiving cup of milk.
Let me add, that even with Lilly totally under the weather, she was amazing. She hated the meds but was such a big girl about taking them. She was in great moods the whole time, although exhausted and weak and had a fever of 103 for 3 of the days. She hated the ER experience, hated the IV and everything, but once we settled in at the hospital she was such a good girl; she knows how to make the best of every situation. All her friends at school made her cards and video messages (she has an amazing teacher).

So that's where we were the last half of November. December gets much, much better as you'll see in the next post...

When in Rome, or NYC, or wherever Lilly goes

2011-11-14T06:58:00.000-08:00

It continues to blow me away how many life experiences Lilly has. We spent the weekend in New York City and New Jersey visiting family. Being back in Manhattan again was like coming home to Lilly - which is so funny to me. She's totally at home, hailing taxi's, seeing Broadway shows like it's no big deal, eating sweets at Dylan's Candy Bar at 10 o clock at night. The usual, for this little girl.

And then seeing her interact with her newborn baby cousin in New Jersey - loving him and feeding him and holding him and singing to him and telling him stories: "Hi baby. My mommy is beautiful and my daddy is a doctor. The end."

And going through two 5 hour car trips in a 48 hour weekend like it's no big deal; we didn't even bring snacks or drinks for her in the car. She played her iPad, listened to music, napped a bit, just a laid back little girl.

And then this morning, asked me: "Can I go on a ride with daddy?" And funny that I can respond: "Yes Lilly, we're going to Disney World in 3 weeks. Is that ok?" And a sigh from her, as she's thinking "I'd rather go today!" (Spoiled girl.)

And instead of hitting her favorite theme park, we drove to school. She happily greeted her friends, got in line (cutting in between her two favorite boys), and marched downstairs.

I've never met a kid (or adult!) with more adaptability, resilience, life experiences. Seeing her face in New York City Saturday night at almost 11 PM - glowing, excited to be there, huge smile as she took in the hustle and bustle, as still thinks of it as "home" - was so funny to see. Getting back last night, and being so excited to be in her DC "home" as she ate cantaloupe and cheese and crackers for dinner while we watched Lion King, then took a bath and went to bed. Ready and excited for her next adventure - and totally knowing it won't be too long before we go away again, this time on an airplane, her favorite mode of transportation.

We partially created this world for her, this normalcy in the excitement and adventures of life. But this is what she loves, what she thrives on. I certainly can't handle moving again, or handle new surprises around each corner, but she's ready and willing to do anything.

We keep looking at our pictures from our European adventure this summer, and I am blown away - not just by the places we went and the fun times we had - I mean, those were expected, planned in our itinerary. But what surprises me is how happy Lilly is everywhere. How much she ate up each experience, how she looked so at home in each foreign city. She is the epitome of a "When in Rome" kind of girl.

Her passion for life is one of the coolest things about my girl. And again, I am brought back to the false reality that 5-6 years ago I was thinking: "If my daughter has Down syndrome, will we be limited? Will we be tied down? Will life be hard?" The hardest thing is actually keeping up with her. She certainly has more energy, more drive, for endurance than her mommy. Thank God for that.

Monday morning

2011-11-07T09:58:00.000-08:00

Typical Monday morning. The cleaning ladies were here (thank goodness; we have a tight budget but with both Jon and I working, it's one of those things that I can justify twice a month), so after dropping Lilly off at school, I had to be out of the house for the morning.

For the past 3 months I've felt nauseous, and am just now feeling like eating normal foods again. (Not that its stopped me from gaining 10 pounds in the first trimester, of course.) So, my grocery list was huge with all kinds of foods for recipes that we'd try out, now that I can stand the smell of food in my kitchen again. At first I stopped by Target - but found out they didn't have a Starbucks - so I quickly bought Lilly 6 pairs of socks and made my way to Harris Teeter.

Got my peppermint mocha (yes, the doctor said I can have one caffeine each day- although I wish I hadn't wasted it on that drink - next time, I'll stick to a regular mocha or plain coffee), and started walking down the aisles. I literally needed everything, and it was nice to shop for once without feeling like I'd get sick. I was debating the pros and cons between the store brand of fruit cocktail versus the name brand (the store brand doesn't have cherries, but it's cheaper, by the way) when I heard it.

This song makes me cry every time I hear it. And it came over the loudspeaker right after Cee Lo's "forget you" (which Lilly knows every word to, I'm not sure if I'm proud to say). The song was Natalie Merchant's "Wonder." It is such a beautiful song, and it just makes me emotional - and so proud - of Lilly.

It has lyrics like...

People see me
I'm a challenge to your balance
I'm over your heads
How I confound you and astound you
To know I must be one of the wonders
Of god's own creation
And as far as you can see you can offer me
No explanation

Oh, I believe
Fate smiled and destiny
Laughed as she came to my cradle
Know this child will be able
Laughed as she came to my mother
Know this child will not suffer
Laughed as my body she lifted
Know this child will be gifted
With love, with patience and with faith
She'll make her way

It just hits me. I made my way to the bathroom in the back of the store, and burst into tears. Not sad tears, but just emotional tears because Lilly is so amazing and I am so proud of her. The words: "Know this child will be able" and "With love with patience and with faith, she'll make her way" - She is gifted, she is able, she will make her way, and she has already. Lilly is a wonder, as all children are, I guess, but moreso because she faces challenges that other kids don't and she overcomes them so graciously. It's astounds me that so many people don't see the amazingness of people with Down syndrome - and other disabilities - when I know firsthand how much we can learn from them, how much they enrich our lives, how blessed they are. Lilly truly makes the world a better place, just by being in it.

Song ended, meltdown over, and I left the bathroom like nothing happened and continued shopping. Doesn't everyone cry in the bathroom over cheesy grocery store music?

What's next

2011-11-03T17:09:00.001-07:00

The cat's out of the bag, or the bun's in the oven, or whatever the expression should be. Lilly is expecting a little brother or sister, to be born in April.

We are overjoyed, and I am terrified, of course - we were thisclose to being done with everything dependent. Lilly's probably more independent that me and Jon at this point, so now we're hitting the "reset" button and going back to babyhood (along with miss independent preschooler??). Life will be different, I'm sure, and crazy at times, but welcoming this new baby into our lives will be amazing. Right?

Lilly will be a great big sister. She's been talking to my belly every night: "Hi baby. It's Lilly. I'm with mommy and daddy. Ok? Love you, baby. Ok, bye."

The other day, she said she needed to show baby something. I said ok, and she pulled out a pamphlet. Of a 5 star resort in Cancun (we get tons of junk mail that Lilly goes through). Lilly showed my belly button (the baby) the pictures of Mexico, the ocean, the beautiful resort, kids laughing, parents holding frozen drinks, and asked if baby wanted to go.

And I swear, I thought right then: "OMG, Lilly's right. We've never taken her to Mexico. We should go right after the baby's born."

And then, I thought to myself: "Are you kidding me? Stop it with the travel planning!" And I quickly dropped the idea... or, at least, placed it on the top shelf of my mind with the "someday we'll do it" plans.

It's weird, when Lilly was born, and we found out she had Down syndrome, one of my strongest thoughts was, this will not limit her. She will do everything she wants to do. She will be exposed to every experience, because she can. 5 years later, Lilly has done and seen more than most people I know. She's accomplished more and worked harder.

That's the weird thing, when I think about this next child. To have a child that doesn't have to struggle, but also won't know how to work as hard. To have a child who does things easily, but doesn't make the same impact on the world. I'm not trying to short change the child - I'm sure he or she will be amazing. But it's just such a difference than what we're used to. But that will not limit our family. We'll have two precious kids, with all their strengths and weaknesses. Maybe our next child won't have the magic of Lilly, but I know he or she will accomplish so much in whatever they take on - and who knows, maybe their inspiration will be their big sister.

I look forward mostly to seeing their relationship. To see Lilly "mommy" the baby when it's little, to see her teach the toddler as it grows, to watch them develop a friendship, a strong bond that will surely surpass even what we've built with Lilly. To watch our kids love each other and become true playmates and friends.

Will we slow down? Will we stop showing Lilly everything and giving Lilly (almost) everything? No. She still deserves to do everything under the moon, just because she can. Because she is not limited, by chromosomes or stereotypes. But our next child, they will do and see it all along with her.

Just today, I saw an article about the Great Wall of China. And it asked, how many of you have a goal to see this at some point in your life? And, I swear, I immediately thought: "Wow! I've never thought about it before, but we should definitely take the kids there in a few years!"

And this, from someone who has declared that she is sick and tired of traveling... But for my kid(s), the sky's the limit.

Hard work

2011-10-30T14:54:00.000-07:00

The thing that is so impressive to me about Lilly is what a hard worker she is. Often times she has to work much harder - sometimes 10 times harder - than other people to learn the same exact things - but the thing is, she does learn it. It amazes me. Her work ethic is so strong. Because things don't come easy, she's never scared of anything new. She looks at new challenges and meets them. She doesn't ever see something and say: "I can't do that" and many times she doesn't even look at us and say "How do I do that?" Instead, she has this internal drive and motivation that she says: "Let me figure out how to do that. And let me practice and give it my all until I get it perfect." She notices everything going on around her, more than the average person, and wants to know everything, learn everything, do everything, experience everything. And most importantly, she wants to do it with a smile on her face (most of the time). When I grow up, I want to be just like Lilly.

Earlier, we went to Target. Just me and my girl, after a fun Halloween party with the little girls in her class. And after going to church, out for bagels, and swimming with daddy this morning. This little girl was kind of exhausted. But she was in a fantastic mood. We parked like a gamillion miles away, but she laughed literally the whole walk to the store - joking around with me, saying the funniest things. She knew exactly what we needed in the store, got a cart, and pushed it around. She helped me pick out what we needed, put everything in the cart, and pushed it back to the front. She patiently stood in a long line, having the best time ever. She loaded everything on the conveyer, paid for it, and took the two big heavy bags, one on each arm, and walked the gamillion miles back to the car, carrying them the whole way, while they were clearly super heavy for her. She never complained, never asked for help (although I offered), was just so proud of herself. We got to the car, and she loaded it up all by herself, got in and put on her own seatbelt, and when we got home she brought it all inside, without any help. No prompting on anything.

I tell her all the time how strong she is, how proud I am, what a hard worker she is. She is so independent, and wants to be. Honestly, I think she could have done the whole thing by herself without me even with her - she is so capable.

Trust me, I worry about everything. But I don't worry about Lilly. She is ready to meet every challenge. I think of Jon and I, and how so many things came easy to us, and how it made us - in some ways - lazy. I don't think I studied much until law school - I didn't need to- and if things were hard, I quit - cross country, tennis, horsebackriding, etc. Lilly doesn't have a quitting instinct in her. Give her a challenge and she'll show you how to beat it, and look beautiful while she does it.

Random Odds and Ends

2011-10-25T11:07:00.000-07:00

I think I've had writer's block for the past month; or maybe it's been that we've been so busy there hasn't been time to type out something creative or take pictures. So instead, here's a list of random thoughts in my head:

Lilly is amazing. Every day with her is still like waking up on Christmas morning. I feel, in some ways, that our time together is like a "honeymoon" that we - hopefully - will never grow out of. She is funny, smart, intuitive, beautiful, sweet, and keeps me on my toes. I am so proud of my little 5 year old ray of sunshine.
Therefore is still bothers me so much every single day that doctors are still giving out such a negative impression of Down syndrome, that expectant moms are so terrified of such a wonderful potential gift, that the world is still filled with depressing stereotypes when the reality is so much better. People: do not be afraid of kids like my Lilly. She is such a blessing, such a joy. Down syndrome is like Lilly's favorite Sesame Street book: "The Monster at the End of the Book" by Grover - the whole time he's terrified of turning the page to find a horrible scary monster, and he gets to the end and finds - himself. Nothing to be scared of after all.
I am so sick of traveling. This from someone who - in the past year - has gone to Disney World twice, Atlanta about 10 times, tons of little day trips here and there, and a 2 week cruise through the Mediterranean. I feel like I just want to be still for a while and really settle in and enjoy life, instead of being on the run.
That being said, we just booked a trip to Disney World in early December. And I think we're driving to Charlottesville this weekend. And probably a trip to see my sister in New Jersey in November. And I'm fighting - resisting - a trip to Atlanta at Christmas (while still researching airfares daily). It's a sickness, I think.
I love working, and I love staying at home. I took most of August and September off work, while Lilly settled into school. Now I'm back working and I love it - I love what I do, I love being busy, I love the accomplishment of finishing projects, and planning and starting new ones. I feel lucky that I have the flexibility that I have - but I still feel like when I'm not working I should be, and when I am working, I'm letting the family down by not being available to cook, do laundry, be more involved with Lilly after school...
Jon's job is so super busy. Which is good - lots of referrals, lots of good cases, lots of positive proof of his efforts. But it's bad for Miss Lilly who literally doesn't see him during the week - except in the middle of the night, which she's now waking up to call him in so she can spend a few minutes of daddy daughter time. Hopefully he'll get slightly less busy soon, and she'll start sleeping through the night again.
We saw the Disney on Ice: Dare to Dream show last weekend. It was *amazing* and not just because I - I mean, Lilly - love princesses. It had a Princess and the Frog, Cinderella, and Tangled theme, with all the Disney princesses coming out at the end, and it was really great to watch. The ice skating/dancing was good as usual, but the tricks of flying through the air on fabric was very cool. A+ (for those of you with little kids)
It keeps hitting me how hard the past 9 years have been with constant moving and transitions. We are truly exhausted from it. And it's hard that our family and best friends are still so far away from us. And, although we make the effort to visit as often as possible, we're still given guilt trips - not coming to visit enough, not making enough of an effort when we're in town, etc - even though travel is often not reciprocated to see us. Besides being completely exhausting to fly in for random weekends, weddings, holidays, showers, events, it is so expensive as well, and it's extra hard when our effort is not appreciated.
Lilly is so smart. I love watching her brain work - how she learns things, how she is so proud of herself. I've been telling her a lot lately how smart she is - and she just gets so happy - because it motivates her to try even harder. I couldn't be more proud of my little girl.
I'm in a food rut. I'm sick of cooking (it doesn't help that I'm working more now so there's less time), nothing sounds good to me, I don't love grocery shopping; it's all so tiring. I need meals to be delivered. (By the way, Lilly made an excellent eggplant parmesan the other day, and she also baked peanut butter Hershey kiss cookies. If I can train her a little more - and get her a visa - she can cook and do the shopping for me.)
We still have so much to unpack. And, I'm proud that I made about 15 photo albums of Lilly's first few years, but I still have to do the past year and a half of albums, which is overwhelming. Not thinking about those things for now.
We don't go outside as much as we should lately - first it was the mosquito's - they've been horrible this year and L is allergic - but also we're so tired at the end of the day. When Lilly gets home from school, she just wants to relax and hang out.
I really miss All My Children. I feel like there's a void in my life without the Pine Valley characters and their drama.
I'm loving: Andy Cohen and Watch What Happens Live. He is so funny and down to earth, wish his show was on every night.
Best guilty splurge: the cleaning ladies who come every other week. Best feeling ever is working all day, or chaperoning a class field trip, or running errands around town, and coming up to a super clean spotless house that I didn't make any effort to help with. Even when Lilly walks in on those every-other-Mondays, she looks around and says: "Wow, this looks nice!"

Alright that's my random list of things. Hopefully I'll get back in the routine of blogging the normal stuff again, along with pictures of my Lilly.

Settling In

2011-09-26T10:56:00.000-07:00

Lilly started school less than a month ago, and she loves it. She's doing well. She's making friends, doing her work, learning, playing, socializing. She's saying the pledge of allegiance (or at least putting her hand on her heart and mouthing words), and she's praying and doing the sign of the cross like an expert. The moms are friendly, the kids are excited to see Lilly, and Lilly is so happy to be part of a nice class, in a nice school.

I am so relieved. Since Lilly was so little, I imagined her educational future. I didn't picture special education, although people pushed us towards it. I didn't picture a large public school scenario. I pictured a small school, loving environment, religious education, with her peers. And that's where she is, and I'm so happy for it. I feel like God has led us to this place, and in just a couple short weeks, she is thriving. I look forward to seeing how the rest of her year goes.

So we're settling into the school routine, and continuing to unpack (it's a large process - unpacking boxes from NYC, Charlottesville, childhood, and some even from our year in New Zealand), and getting used to living in Bethesda. We found a cute diner the other night with organic and local healthy ingredients, that I think we might visit quite a lot in the future. Lilly is an expert at going to the movies and the pool with her daddy, and we still bake a couple times a week.

After Europe in July, and a week in Atlanta in August, and a weekend back in Atlanta (just me) for a wedding two weeks ago, I swore I didn't want to travel again for a long time. We really do need the time to settle in here, and the past few years of living like vagabonds. Yet - the more we settle, the more I think about where we're headed next. So, we just booked a trip for the three of us to Atlanta to meet our new niece, born to Jon's sister last week. And Disney World keeps tempting me with special pin code offers which I really should ignore...

1st day jitters

2011-09-01T19:35:00.000-07:00

Most of the time, being Lilly's mom is the coolest thing ever. Because she is probably the most perfect (for me) made daughter. When I filled out her pre-K questionnaire form the other day, of Lilly's interests, I feel like I was filling out a "match.com" survey for myself.

What does Lilly like? Dancing (both hip hop and ballet), Broadway, cooking, reading, traveling, building sandcastles, swimming, playing with Barbies, singing, anything Disney, putting on makeup...

Are all kids mini-me's of their parents? Or are only-children more prone to do exactly as mom does? Or is Lilly just a perfect little kid?

But occasionally, every once in awhile, there is a down side. It's not the fact that Lilly occasionally has selective hearing when I'm telling her what to do, and that she'd rather do what she wants, her way, in her time. That's frustrating - but again, I'm the same way. Jon figured out a long time ago that telling me what to do or how to do it or when to do it, is not the best marriage plan. So that's just one of those tedious parts of parenting that we all deal with.

The thing that actually is hard though - every now and then - are the new situations. Not because Lilly doesn't blow me away every time she tries something new; I'm continuously impressed at her efforts and wonder if there's a point where we've moved too many times or started too many schools or camps, or if a vacation might put her over the edge on what she's ok with.

But it's that, when we get into a new situation, I - as her mom - get terrified that she'll be prejudged on what her skills are. That teachers, parents, people generally, may look at her and think "oh, that little girl who can't do this or that" or "that family, bless their hearts" or "yikes, this child is going to be very high maintenance."

Once people get to know Lilly, they realize she's just a normal kid - with strengths and weaknesses, good and bad (but mostly great). That she can kind of hold her own in a group, and she might be a better dancer than some of the girls, and she definitely knows her pop culture as well as any tween. And if she doesn't talk as much - at first - it's because she's shy and not that she can't talk, and if you can't understand some of what she's saying, maybe you should listen a little harder - my girl speaks with her voice, her hands (signing), and most importantly, her eyes and she certainly isn't quiet about letting her opinion known - if you give her a chance to tell you.

But sometimes, once in a while, if someone looks at her and sees something not as positive, Lilly picks up on it intuitively. It's amazing, because she is a mirror to your impression of her - I swear if you look at her thinking negative things, Lilly won't make eye contact and acts like she doesn't know anything. But, for example, if you look at her and see how beautiful she is - inside and out - she will start to radiate charm and beauty, and might even start performing a song and dance.

So it's hard, with these new situations. I never know where people are coming from. If they are open to just seeing Lilly for who she is - which is most often the case. Or the opposite, and then Lilly might have a negative reaction right back.

Starting school today, I was terrified. This school is perfect on paper, of course, but nothing can be that good, right? It's pre-K, but at a school through 8th grade so the expectations are high for the kids - it's not preschool or daycare anymore. And it's a Catholic school, so I really am hoping that the faith that I've practiced for the past 30 years - that guided me to this school as a positive foundation for Lilly's education - and the fact that Lilly says the cutest "sign of the cross" you've ever seen - would lead us to a great start. But it seemed too good to be true, so last night I lay in bed all night long thinking of everything that could go wrong today - how prejudiced the teachers might be, how mean the kids might be, how overwhelming the school routine. It even crossed my mind that she'd go missing at school, and we'd never see her again.

And, thank goodness, my imagination was the worst of it. The day went fine. Lilly liked the morning prayer and pledge of allegience and announcements in the gym with the rest of the school. Then the pre-K kids walked downstairs to their class. Lilly was nervous, of course, but aside from extra hugs - and hiding under a table for 10 minutes - she did fine. Her teacher is wonderful, the parents are so nice, and the kids seem really sweet. And I think it'll only get better, as Lilly starts to get the rhythm of the routines. The academics won't be too difficult, her amazing teachers last year gave her a great head start. This year will be to focus on the routine of being a typical kid in a Catholic school, and prepare her just a little more for Kindergarten.

After school, we went to the back to school picnic. Again, I watched the students of all ages being fun loving and sweet and a few girls, probably in 4th grade or so, asked Lilly to do dance routines and gymnastics with them, before they pushed her on the swings. We met another mom of a girl with DS who goes to the school, and talked to Lilly's really nice teacher for awhile. Then, Lilly danced to her favorite Black Eyed Peas and Pink songs with the rest of the kids before we headed back home.

So now, at almost 11 at night, for the first time today, I am just now finally taking my first deep breath since yesterday. My face has broken out from the stress and anticipation, and I nervous-ate all day long, including half a box of Lucky Charms for lunch and a veggie burger at 10 pm. But Lilly was happy. The day was long but good. Tomorrow is scary again, but we all know what to expect. Lilly is in a happy and healthy environment, and I can't wait to watch her take over the world.

Day 11: Happy Birthday from Corsica.

2011-08-15T20:52:00.000-07:00

All I wanted for my 30th birthday was to lie on a beach in Europe and soak in the sun and build sand castles. It was so perfect that our cruise stopped in Corsica where the beaches were supposed to be gorgeous, and we planned the whole day based on doing nothing but relaxing.

I woke up that morning and it was raining. It didn't rain the entire cruise except that one day, and it didn't stop until we pulled away from Corsica. All day long. So, we made the most of it.

The beach was out - it was such a dark and dreary day - and so we just decided to walk around town for awhile. We stopped to get our obligatory espresso drinks and milk (today in a wine glass, of course). We loved exploring the town, and it would have been perfect if the weather was halfway decent. Around noon, we got back on the boat. Jon picked up sandwiches on the way and they were delicious - he got me a "Napoli" pressed sandwich (tomato and mozzarella) - to continue the streak of eating "pizza" in each city along the way - and Lilly ate half of it!

Lilly napped during the afternoon, while I went to the spa for a blow dry, mini facial, and mani and pedi. Then, at 6, Lilly went to the kids club while Jon and I went to dinner at Palo. The food - and the service - and the wine - were all great. It was the only dinner the entire cruise that we didn't spend with Lilly, and it was nice having grown up conversation especially after so many interesting days. Lilly enjoyed the kids club, they bring food down to them at dinner time and she was in a good mood when we picked her up.

Afterwards, just as I started to feel a little homesick for not talking to any family or friends on my birthday, we ran into our friends from dinner and after seeing the show together, threw all the kids in the kids club and went to the piano bar.

I may have chugged a beer in a contest right before this picture was taken, but I definitely did not win.

It was a fun - and unique - birthday that I'll never forget.

Day 10: La Spezia, Santa Margherita, and Portofino

2011-08-11T06:27:00.000-07:00

This was another Disney excursion day. You see, what happened was, I was reading In Touch or Us Weekly a couple weeks before the cruise. And Leonardo Di Caprio was in Portofino with Blake Lively. And while it's not like I'm a huge Leo fan (I'm not not a Leo fan - but it's not like I'm obsessed with him or anything) but I am a fan of Lilly doing what the stars do, going where they go. If Portofino is good enough for Leo, certainly my 5 year old daughter should check it out. Right?

So, we booked the excursion that left from La Spezia and went to Santa Margherita and Portofino. We met up with our tour group as Chip, Dale and Minnie were taking pictures...

The history lesson we got (slightly different from the one in Rome) was based on celebrities. Clark Gable used to hang out in this area. Perfect. (Lilly is not obsessed with Gone with the Wind yet but she has an appreciation.) And many other celebrities, from the 1940's until present. In fact, when we got back, we realized we were there at the same time as Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas. (We were also in Malta a week or two after Brad and Angelina. Of course.) Anyways, it was a nice day to walk around these two cities, appreciate their beauty, and see how the rich people vacation.

Would I pick this excursion again? Probably not, only because for us I think we needed a down day after Rome, and La Spezia actually had a lot to offer, from the glimpse we got - on the water (not sure if there's a beach), playgrounds, restaurants. But, would I recommend this excursion? Yes. A lot of people did Pisa or Florence this day, and I think this was a good alternative to those areas. It was beautiful and calm and exactly what you'd think the area would be. I loved it.

Lilly in the middle of town in Santa Margherita

On a carousel. No playground in town, but a horsie ride is just as good.

The beach - we didn't bring bathing suits (we should have) but we didn't have a ton of time either - we hung out on the beach for a half hour before meeting up with our group for a "pizza party." Which was all you can eat, but not nearly as good as the pizza in Naples - which was not to say it was bad pizza, but after Naples it's hard to eat any pizza. But a nice lunch either way, and the restaurant had a play area for kids which was minimal but nice.

Lilly listening to her ipod in Portofino.

We had a private ferry that took us to Portofino from Santa Margherita.

Behind Lilly and I is a castle that we walked up a gazillion steps to get to, because Lilly likes castles. She walked every step and it was exhausting for all of us! When we got there, we were so close to the castle that Lilly didn't appreciate it was a castle - she just saw a stone building - so we hiked another thousand steps down and when we got to the center of the city, Lilly was excited that she could see a castle far in the distance. *Sigh.*

Lilly drinking whiskey - I mean, milk. We stopped for gelato in Portofino before heading back.

And finally, Pirate night on the cruise ship. Mommy went to bed at 10 but Lilly and Jon stayed up late.

Day 9: When in Rome

2011-08-10T19:30:00.000-07:00

Thus far, we had appreciated the natural beauty of the island nation of Malta. We had gone to the Sicilian countryside. We had eaten the best pizza on earth. And, it was time to delve into the most amazing historic experience.

The ancient Roman times are fascinating, and I couldn't wait to be there. See it. Experience the places that were so advanced for their time. You don't fully appreciate Rome until you're there, in the middle of it.

The Disney excursions looked both overwhelming and underinclusive and expensive. Not their fault; it's impossible to see the highlights of Rome in one day, and doing it on a large tour bus didn't seem to be the right thing for us. We wanted the flexibility of being able to do things at our own pace if necessary. And we wanted to zip in and zip out without waiting for 87 other people to be done using the restroom.

We chose a private tour guide, Stefano's Rome Tours (affiliated with Rome Cabs). The company gets great reviews on tripadvisor.com, and they were easy to work with to set things up. To reduce the cost, we found another family on our cruise that also had young kids so we could split it in half. It worked out perfectly, and I'd highly recommend them.

We woke up early, and I popped two Excedrin Migraine, while I drank my coffee and we scarfed down bagels and fruit in the room. Jon also went up to the buffet for crackers and cheese, to bring with us. We met the other family and walked off the boat around 8 am. Our driver was right there with a sign with my name on it - it couldn't be easier. We got in his van, and spent an hour or so driving to Rome.

First stop was the Colosseum. The coolest thing about the history of Rome - is watching it through Lilly's eyes. Seeing her, at 5 years old, kind of know that this is important. Explaining to her what she's looking at. And her being genuinely interested in what she's seeing. Here she is when we got out at the Colosseum, taking pictures.

And sweet Lilly in front:

As we walked in, I explained to her where she was going - to a really old place where they used to have events, kind of like when you go to baseball games with daddy, or a Broadway show. And, when she held her ticket to get in, she told me that we were going to a Hannah Montana concert. Then she changed her mind and told me it was Mamma Mia.

Lilly Lou sitting on stones that are 2000 years old. Craziness.
Lilly's camera skills hard at work: otherwise there would be no pictures of just mommy and daddy.

Lilly, touching history.
Of course, before we left she not only performed an Annie Medley but also Mary Poppins' Step in Time. My opinion is, if Lilly had lived when the Romans did a couple centuries ago, she would totally have performed on that stage in the Colosseum.

Next we went to the Forum and walked around through a few buildings. Lilly found this "stage" and performed her dance class "Gummy Bear" routine. (Of course.)

Next stop, the Pantheon. Lilly danced with Minnie Mouse, performing "I don't need anything but you" from Annie.

And outside she switched to "Maybe" from Annie.

Then we went to the Trevi Fountain, where we all threw in coins to ensure that we'd be back to Rome. Lilly apparently loves Rome so much that she threw in almost every coin in Jon's wallet. First the picture that Lilly took of us...

I'd like to stop here to say what an amazing tour guide we had that day. Each place we went, he dropped us off right in front. A month before, they told us to get tickets to the Vatican and Colosseum in advance, so we wouldn't wait in line. When we got to the Colosseum, he walked us right to the front with our tickets and got us in, no problems. He would tell us what time to meet him after each place - 20 minutes for this, 40 minutes for that - and it was always the right amount of time. He'd be waiting exactly where he said, and gave good directions on where to go. He gave tons of history while driving around, and knew the answers to all our questions, whether it was history or coffee. He took short cuts throughout Rome, and went places that tour buses definitely can't go (and won't fit!). We definitely didn't walk very far all day because of all his tricks.

Next stop: lunch. Our guide took us to an Italian restaurant near the Vatican, and I don't know what it was called. I do know that it wasn't touristy - it seemed pretty authentic - it was relatively inexpensive, and the food was delicious. He walked us in, where they had a table reserved for our group - no waiting. Perfect, again.

The pasta in Rome was amazing. Not as amazing as my pizza experience the day before, but definitely the best pasta I've ever had. And the best mozzarella. Wow the food was exactly what Italian food should be.

Lilly liked the pasta...

We had each ordered beers with lunch, which hit the spot but were also leaving us a little drowsy for the coolest part of Rome (in my Catholic opinion)...

The Vatican
Lilly with the Sistine Chapel behind her.
Our driver had arranged in advance for a Vatican tour guide to show us around for 2 hours - definitely money well spent. She was an expert on everything there. She showed us so much in a short amount of time, and wove us in and around it all with no problem, even though we had Lilly in a stroller. (She fell asleep right after we entered the Vatican museums. Or, she peacefully took in each exhibit.) I was surprised how cool the Vatican is - so much rich history and religion, it was fascinating. And without a personal tour guide, I think we would have missed a lot of it - especially having the kids there - she gave us everything we needed to know and everywhere we needed to go. We went through the museums, the Sistine Chapel, a gazillion stairs (noteworthy because of the sleeping child), and finally into St Peter's, where Lilly woke up.
Afterwards, we had gelato and the driver drove us back to the port.

Overall it was an amazing day. Jon says it was his favorite day of the trip - we accomplished so much in a small amount of time. Reading history books is one thing, and seeing it come alive before you is just so interesting.

Day 8: Naples

2011-08-06T16:05:00.000-07:00

A couple port days under out belt: the first touring a half day on our own, and the second doing an all day excursion. It was time to slow it down - and not just for pacing reasons. But, because it was the day I've been waiting months - years, actually - to experience.

Almost everyone from our cruise went to Pompeii, to see the ancient ruins which I hear are magnificent. Or, if they've already done so, they tour Herculaneum or go to Capri or Sorrento for the day. All totally valid choices. And we've been warned time and again how dangerous Naples is - a city that is too busy, too crazy, too dirty. But I had my eye on the prize. I wouldn't classify myself as a pizza conosier exactly, but I've tasted it from all over. I've had the best of Chicago. I've discovered good pizza joints in Atlanta. I created my own in New Zealand (and found one - just one - decent pizzeria in Auckland). In Charlottesville we've tasted it all and had a few favorites. And in New York City, the mecca of good US pizza, we tried it all - watching Food Network shows about the best local pizzas, asking around, and eating as much as we could wherever we could.

So in Naples, neither history nor beauty would make me turn my back - er, stomach - from what they say is the best pizza in the world. We'd tackle the crazy dirty dangerous city for the best pizza of my life.

We woke up this morning, in no rush. I think this was the morning after we were out late with our cruise friends doing a grown up scavenger hunt, while the kids were in the kids club until midnight or so. But we had no plans that morning so Lilly slept in until 9:30. We again got coffee first thing. I can't remember exactly but I know we didn't eat anything and I'm pretty sure Lilly didn't end up eating anything either. When you're about to have the best pizza ever, you want to be hungry, so we skipped breakfast.

We got off the boat around 10:30 am, thinking the pizza place would be open at 11 or 11:30. We carried nothing with us - because everyone had terrified us so much about Naples. I took off my diamond engagement ring, just leaving my small wedding band. We didn't bring our camera, just Lilly's inexpensive one. Jon carried just enough money for food in his front pocket, and his hand never left it. No backpack, nothing else. We dressed down - I don't think I wore makeup, and we all wore tshirts and jeans. Lilly wore boyish looking pants, didn't want her to stand out as being too cute (it's hard!). Seriously, people had freaked us out and I was nervous but nothing would stop me from the pizza.

We got off the boat and found a map at the entrance to the port. We had directions that we printed out but they weren't that helpful, but we figured out where we were going. For anyone who needs help in the future: when you get off the cruise ship in the port, you'll see a castle looking thing a couple blocks away towards the diagonal left. If you walk a couple blocks more diagonally, you'll get to a square. Right near there is the pizzeria of choice: Pizzeria Brandi. We got there a little after 11 (it's just a 10 minute walk if you know where you're going) and we found out they didn't open until 12:30 on Sunday. So, we decided to kill time and walk around. We found a big open square a block away - and church bells were ringing. It was beautiful.

I started to realize my impression of Naples was wrong. Sure, maybe it's dirty or unfriendly or dangerous, but remember, we're coming from a year off New York City. It looked clean and nice to us. And with nothing of value on us - besides Lilly - we felt perfectly safe. It was Sunday morning, so maybe it was a little quieter than normal, but we totally loved the city.

We stopped at a nearby cafe on the corner for a cup of coffee. The staff was a little rude at first - which made us homesick for NYC - but after we ordered our drinks, they got a lot nicer. We ordered in Italian as the server spoke no English - but a few minutes back we realized he had just pretended not to speak/understand English, as he asked us in perfect English: "So, were are you from? New York City? I love NYC."
The best coffee of Jon's life. And, Lilly was happy because a waitress gave her two little drink umbrellas.

Afterwards we went for a walk down a tree lined street nearby. Naples was so pretty!
Here are Jon and Lilly outside Pizzeria Brandi (in the background) as we waited for it to open.
And walking down a side street. I think it's a pedestrian street without cars, but motorcycles could ride down it. And, for those who warned us about it being scary to cross streets because of the crazy traffic: it wasn't bad at all. Again, it was a Sunday, but our NY savvy and confidence prepared us for crossing the streets. If we hadn't come from a big crazy city then perhaps Naples would feel slightly overwhelming - but it seriously wasn't as bad as NYC in any aspect, in my opinion.

And the most important moment of the trip: the Margherita pizza. I had a certain thought in my head about how delicious it would be, imagined what it would taste like. And let me say: it was even more incredible than I had imagined. Not only best pizza of my life, but the best meal of my life hands down. And in my top 10 experiences of my life, up there with giving birth to Lilly and marrying Jon. Oh my goodness amazingness.
Jon and I each ordered our own pizza - which were huge - and ate the entire thing. Lilly had a slice but she ate bread after that, which made us happy because we didn't want to share. And FYI, the pizza is served whole, not in slices. Apparently the traditional way of eating it is to fold it in half and in half again and just take big bites. Or, tear it and eat it. We cut some of it, and just devoured the rest. It was the best tasting thing ever.

The rest of the meal at Brandi was good as well - the server super attentive, a big basket of bread, a delicious salad, sparkling water and bottled water (the sparkling water was probably the best I'd ever had as well), and Jon had a delicious beer. Every single person in the restaurant each ordered a whole Margherita pizza per person, it was funny to watch - they all know how amazing it is. Anyways, amazing meal for the family. Totally didn't let me down at all.

And after, we got Gelato from a street cafe. Lilly loved it.

Our day in Naples was wonderful - probably (arguably) the favorite of our trip. It was laid back and relaxing, Naples was pretty and charming, the food was insane, and it was just a nice family day. The rest of the day was spent napping (Lilly), doing laundry (me), I think an hour in the kids club before dinner (Lilly), and a nice dinner with our friends including local Limoncello and wine that we bought in Naples. Next stop: Rome.

Day 7: Sicily

2011-08-05T04:55:00.000-07:00

My favorite show is Golden Girls - it has been for the past 20 years. You will always find episodes recorded on my DVR.

So when Disney dropped Tunisia from the itinerary a few months ago due to political unrest - as much as I would have been happy hitting a port in Africa, I thought it was super cool that we would be heading to Sicily instead, home of Sophia Petrillo. I wanted to be able to say, after this amazing adventure, "Picture it, Sicily..." and have a real genuine story from the area.

Palermo had no interest to me - it's just a city like any other city, and I wanted to balance out our days between city, history, countryside, relaxation, etc. At the end, we had a good mix of everything. So Sicily was my day of doing an excursion that took us 2 hours outside the city to a farm/villa, where we would bake bread, make ricotta, swim in the pool, eat a ridiculous amount of food, drink some wine, and see some animals. And, we did. Picture it, Sicily....Lilly rolling her bread - at first she did it "wrong" because she rolled it out into a circular flat pizza - but of course my girl is a pizza expert. Once she realized she needed to make it into an oval shaped roll, she did great.
And making ricotta... We ended up being able to take it with us back onto the boat, and brought it to dinner that night to share with our friends.

At the villa. Insane views.

Swimming. Best part of the day. Only complaint of the day was that there wasn't enough time to swim for longer. Pool was perfect deepness for Lilly at this end. Check out the view behind her.
After just 10 courses or so, the cannoli for dessert - best dessert ever - it doesn't look big here but it was HUGE and I ate the whole thing. Check out the all you can drink wine behind it. Huge headache for me that afternoon. We all napped on the busride back.

"Tourist" Lilly taking pictures of the calf (is that a calf?). Followed by stepping in a big pile of crap which she got all over my leg when she put her feet up on the bus. Lovely.
And no day is complete without a conga line after dinner.

Day 6: Malta

2011-08-04T17:44:00.001-07:00

When Lilly was just in my belly for 12 weeks, Jon and I got the news that she'd probably have Down syndrome. She was just beginning to show in my belly, as I processed this news, and the one thing I thought in my head at the time was: I can't wait to travel with her. I'll take her all over the world. I literally pictured, at the time, a grown up Lilly with me and some suitcases, waiting to be jet set.

A bizarre thought, perhaps, but I think it speaks to what Lilly has shown us. Take the unexpected and turn it into amazing experiences. So many times during this Mediterranean adventure I was in happy tears, amazed by what we were doing, what Lilly was experiencing. The kid has done more at 5 than I have in my entire life. And it's not that we've just picked her up and plopped her here and there - it's that she loves to travel. She totally gets the specialness and appreciates all that we're doing. It blows me away.

Malta. Somehow, we snuck off the boat with the earliest excursions, and were walking through Malta before it was even announced where the gangway was located. (We heard the announcement a block away.) We were the very first people talking with the taxi stand guy about where we wanted to go. We decided on 3 hours, going to the Blue Grotto (which was on my checklist), plus I said I wanted to see a village and go to a playground with Lilly.

The driver was very friendly, telling us all about the local news in the area. The scenery driving around was amazing - the architecture was unlike anything I'd seen. We got to the Blue Grotto by 9 am, and another Disney family was in a taxi behind us. All of us loaded into a small boat (which accommodated about 8 people total) and for the next 20 minutes or so we explored the caves and water. Lilly LOVED it - she kept saying sweetly: "I like boats!" like 100 times. The pictures don't do justice to the scenery or the way she loved it (I have video that's better but too lazy to upload right now).

Next, we went to a "playground" which ended up being Playmobile's sponsored playground - right next to a refugee camp in a sketchy area. In my head, I was hoping we'd go to a playground on the beach, New Zealand style. This was not it. Lilly went on the slide a couple times, fell in a yellow green weird looking puddle (totally gross) and we left.
Then, we went to a "fishing village" which starts with an M but I have no idea how to spell it. There was a market set up by the water, and next to it was this statute of a boy and a dog. Lilly loved it, oddly, and sang "Tomorrow" from Annie about 3 thousand times. Her hands were black when we pulled her away finally.

And, lunchtime. There were about a dozen restaurants with seating by the water, and we picked one that had fresh fish (caught that morning) for Jon, and pizza for me and Lilly. The food was super fresh, and the pizza not bad. The bees and flies loved our food though, which got annoying.

After lunch, the taxi brought us back to the boat. We napped and then were ready for dinner. Dinner was with our new friends, and we had a great time, and then went to the High School Musical dance party. Again, we didn't get to bed until midnight.

Day 5: First "At Sea" Day

2011-08-04T17:04:00.000-07:00

The 10 night Disney Cruise schedule goes like this: you get on the boat, then have an "at sea" day, then 7 port days, then another "at sea" day, then disembark. It's good to have the "at sea" days like this because we could spend a day unwinding before being thrown into the craziness (and fun) of exploring the European ports.

I ordered room service for breakfast every morning of the cruise (all food is included, even room service), as I need my coffee immediately. I'd also order a fruit plate and bagel and croissants and milk, so breakfast was always low key in the room. A couple days Jon took Lilly up to the buffet for breakfast (there's also sit down nice breakfast but we never had the time).

Jon took Lilly swimming soon after she woke up, and around 9 she went to the kids club for a Snow White event. Jon and I - for the only time of the cruise - went to the adult pool together, laid out in the sun, and relaxed. By 11 we picked up Lilly, and she was having the time of her life. We dragged her out of there (she loved the kids club) so she could take pictures with the princesses. These pictures don't do justice to the excitement that Lilly had for each princess.

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After, Lilly and Jon went to see Tangled in the theater for a few minutes, and then got a bite to eat for lunch, before coming back for naptime. I slept with Lilly while Jon worked out (he ran every morning and used the gym most days - that makes one of us). Then in the afternoon we went to Tea with Alice. Lilly shyly loved Alice. The tea party was very nice but not amazing - I wouldn't schedule my day around it, but it was nice to hit. (You need tickets ahead of time, we got ours as soon as we got on the ship the day before.)

Afterwards, we got ready for formal night. Dinner again was a little bit of a disaster: the family they paired us with didn't want to be with another family - again - and told us so repeatedly. So, we were 0 for 2 in the dining department.

Even with the bad tablemates, we enjoyed the night - and Lilly loved the show of course (there's a live production in the theatre every night that Lilly never missed). After the show, we met a family that we really liked and we were able to get added to their table for dinner - so from there on, we had great dinners with them and the other family they were matched with, and became great ship friends.

As per our routine, I think we went to bed around midnight.

Day 4: All Aboard the Disney Magic in Barcelona!

2011-08-04T16:40:00.000-07:00

Finally, it was Wednesday July 20 and we were ready to board the Disney Magic! We had booked the transfers as part of our cruise/airfare package so we didn't need to worry about transportation; we just had to be downstairs in the lobby by 11, and our luggage was picked up by 8 am. We woke up, went to our free breakfast in the dining room, then Jon and Lilly went to the beach for an hour while I finished organizing. At 10:45 we were back in the room, getting out of swim suits, and we decided that Lilly definitely needed a replacement camera for the one that was lost/stolen. So, Jon ran across the street to the "Target" type store and found one for under $100. By 11, we were ready to get on the bus to the boat!

The bus boarded around 11:15, and we got to the port around noon. The check in process was easy, and the staff was so friendly (this was the case throughout the whole cruise). We stood in line to take pictures with Micky Mouse, and then debated the line for the kids club registration, but it was huge so we decided to do it once we boarded. Finally it was time to get on the boat!

Lilly was so excited. I love how she appreciates everything so much. She was giddy with excitement, just overwhelmed with the fact that she was doing something so super special. We walked onto the boat as they announced our name, and she was just dying of happiness.

We were all hungry but first we went upstairs to register Lilly for the kids club, and there was no wait at all to get her ankle bracelet (she doesn't like wearing it on her arm), so it was a good decision, versus the long line outside. She loved exploring the kids club - it's a great space filled with toys, tv's, a giant slide, etc. And it was nice for her to see it with us, while it was relatively empty, so that she could feel comfortable there when we would drop her off later.

We went up to Topsiders buffet to get lunch, and finally at 1:30 our room was ready. We immediately took a nap, and after Lilly fell asleep our luggage arrived so Jon and I unpacked and organized. At 4ish we all did the emergency drill outside, which Lilly loved (everything on the Disney Cruise ship seems like an event, even if it's just telling us what to do if we're sinking...). Then we went up to the Sail Away Party. Lilly loved the dancing and excitement and the characters.

After the party we got dressed and ready for dinner. Dinner was good but the people sitting at our table wanted to sit by ourselves, so we were at a huge table by ourselves. More on that tomorrow.

Lilly's European Vacation: Day 3

2011-08-01T06:41:00.000-07:00

We all slept in past 8 am Tuesday morning, which was good because we’re getting adjusted to the time change but still feel like we’re relaxing on vacation. Lilly went to bed at 11 the night before but she’s been taking naps so it’s fine. We got ready for the day, and headed down to breakfast.

The best thing about our stay at the Hilton Diagonal Mar – aside from our beautiful room with the gorgeous views of the ocean – and the super friendly employees – was the breakfast that was included in the cost of the room. We weren’t aware of this when we booked (we booked through Disney) so it was definitely a bonus. It was in a restaurant, buffet style, with coffee (me), espresso (Jon), and milk (Lilly) served to us immediately upon sitting down. The food itself was good – the typical hotel breakfast fare, with some extras. We were all starving that morning so we were happy to have the food. I especially love buffet breakfasts for Lilly when we’re on a vacation, because it’s an easy way to make sure she gets multiple food groups – fruit, cheese, bread, eggs, etc. (Many times when we eat out for lunch and dinner it’s the standard chicken and fries, so breakfast is where we get more diverse nutrition.)

After breakfast, we debated what to do next, deciding finally on going to La Rambla, the long street with restaurants, street performers, etc. We took the local bus there – number 41 – which picks up across the street from our hotel. After 20 minutes or so we were there, and started walking. We stopped at the first gelato stand and got 2 cones – Lilly picked out mint chocolate chip (which is my favorite, and she’s never ordered that before) and she liked it for a couple minutes before being done. She’s not a huge ice cream/gelato fan – she appreciates it but doesn’t need a lot. I inherited the cone after her, and we threw most of it away – we were still full from breakfast. We walked further down, and found a little park on a side street, where Lilly played for awhile. It was the first park we’ve seen in Barcelona – the city is unlike New York City or Auckland, where there are parks everywhere we turn, almost. The park was tiny but perfect for Lilly, and it was nice for her to run around. We continued walking, past a big statue of Christopher Columbus, and to the waterfront. We made a left and walked along the water for a long time – past Port Veill (sp?) with tons of sail boats, and through Barcelonetta, with the boardwalk and beach. Lilly was drifting off in her stroller, so we got in a cab for about $7 Euro ride back to the hotel.

When we got upstairs, it was 2pm or so, and we debated what to do next – nap or beach – and we went with a nap for all. We fell asleep easily, and Lilly got a good rest which makes me happy. In the hotel, she took naps with us each day in the king bed, but slept on the pull out couch in the living room at night – she liked it a lot, she thought of it as “her” room.

I didn’t sleep long, but Lilly and Jon slept until 4:30. I gave Lilly a good bath with a hair wash (I knew it would be the last time with a big tub; luckily all Disney Cruise rooms have bathtubs unlike many other ships, but they’re not big tubs or big bathrooms). Lilly happily played with her “everybody’s” – her little plastic Elmo, Cinderella, Stepsisters, Mickey Mouse, and Belle – and had them reenact the scene “I know I’m gonna like it here” from Annie.

By 5:30 we were all dressed and ready to go to our nighttime plans. We debated taking the Metro subway or a taxi, and decided on taxi for convenience, as we’d have to transfer Metro stops and public transportation in a foreign country in a different language can be a little confusing – especially with dinner reservations.

The taxi was quick and convenient and not too expensive – 20 minutes and less than $20 Euro – to go to up the Monjuic mountain (if I’m wrong about any of the geography or history, my apologies – we didn’t research the Barcelona portion too well beforehand) to Pablo Espanya (sp?). It is a beautiful area high above the city, with great views, and it was like entering a castle or something. The pamphlet we got when we arrived said this area was built in the early 1900’s, taking architectural details and history from different regions of Spain to build this area. It was gorgeous – I think normally you have to pay to get in, but we had reservations at Tablao de Carmen (sp?) so it was included. We walked around for awhile, did a few wine tastings, bought a bottle of red for the ship (we had bought two bottles of wine at that mall “Target” style store the day before for less than $3 Euro per bottle, so this was a splurge at $13 Euro – it’s nice that we can bring wine aboard the ship. We brought a corkscrew from home and can open the bottle in our room and then bring a glass of wine to drink anywhere on the ship to avoid the more expensive surcharges that wine in a bar would cost, or the corking fee of the dining room if we brought the entire bottle to dinner).

Lilly ate a ton of bread pieces while we tasted wine, and there was even some goat and sheep cheese for us to sample. Jon also found chocolate samples for Lilly. She sat underneath an orange tree and a lime tree and then tried jumping up to get an orange. It was a really nice place to spend some time.

Finally at 6:45 it was time for dinner. The restaurant has Flamenco dancing – which apparently is touristy especially in this region, because it’s not from Barcelona but from Madrid or somewhere else perhaps, but when you’re a tourist, it’s time to do touristy things.

My expectations for the event weren’t high, but the whole experience turned out to be amazing. We could choose beforehand either to do dinner for 69 euros, tapas for 45 euros or a drink for 30 euro’s - and all included the show. Lilly’s was a smaller price, I can’t remember what it was. At 6:45 we sat down for Tapas – we didn’t need a huge dinner. The “tapas” people were put on the second floor, while those eating dinner were on the first floor – but it was a small place, so it wasn’t hard to see wherever you were. Immediately our attentive server appeared and gave us a huge pitcher of Sangria – included with the meal (we could have chosen wine, but we can always have wine – when else can you have Sangria in Spain?). Lilly could choose a soft drink, which she doesn’t drink, but I ordered her a sprite which I knew I could drink (I thought a diet coke for a 5 year old would be weird). The Sangria was delicious, and did I mention huge? – and hit the spot. A couple minutes later a big plate of penne pasta with a pink tomato cream sauce arrived for Lilly, and she was in heaven; and we were served bread, a big plate of various meats, and cheese. We thought this was it, and were happy and satisfied. Lilly loved her pasta, it was the best meal of the trip. A little while later, a few more plates arrived – roasted green peppers and potatoes bravas – and we got even happier (or perhaps it was the Sangria). Then, 15 minutes later, as Lilly was winding down on her pasta, the server came back with a huge plate of 2 big pieces of breaded chicken and French fries. We cut up Lilly’s chicken and she ate every bite of it, dipping it into ketchup. Huge meal for her, but delicious – and after the traveling and everything, it was nice to see her relax and eat well. We also were served a plate of calamari, which Jon enjoyed.

The dancing began, with 5 people sitting, singing and playing guitars, and 4 dancers came out, one at a time, and danced for about 10 minutes each. Then at the end they all came back and did a finale together. The music was beautiful; the dancing great, the whole show was such a good experience. Lilly loved it, although she thought it was loud because of the way their shoes banged against the wood floor when they danced. But it was definitely an amazing experience that I would recommend, between the food and the show – a perfect night for Lilly.

Halfway through the hour long dancing show, our waiter brought Lilly chocolate ice cream with shipped cream, a chocolate dessert for Jon, and crème brulee for me. He asked if we wanted coffee – Jon said an espresso, and I said coffee. He came back 10 minutes later with 2 espresso’s – apparently that’s all they have. I tried a plain espresso (with sugar) for the first time ever and it was fine, but then I stayed up all night!

Just one downside though – on the way to Pablo Espanol we lost Lilly’s camera – or maybe it was pickpocketed? Thank goodness it wasn’t the new one I just got, but it was still sad because Lilly loves her camera and actually takes pretty good pictures on it. Not sure if we can get her a cheap/disposable one to replace it or not, or if I’ll just let her use mine. She definitely enjoyed taking pictures of the flamenco dancers with my camera at the show, and I’d like to give her the opportunity to take pictures of whatever she wants on the trip, to memorialize it from her viewpoint.

After dinner, at about 9 pm, we walked around the area outside Pablo Espanol, a beautiful area, and then walked to the Magic Fountain which was not running this particular night, but there was a building behind it that was beautiful that Lilly called a castle. We took tons of pictures, and came back to the hotel.

Jon went for a run when we got back, and we organized our clothes and bags. Jon and Lilly went to sleep around midnight, and thanks to my espresso, I fell asleep around 2 am.

(Editor's note: the pics are out of order a little, uploading issue and too lazy to fix!)

Lilly's Mediterranean Vacation: Days 1 and 2

2011-07-31T02:36:00.000-07:00

A few months ago, while planning this trip, we decided to add on an extra day in Barcelona. We had originally thought arriving a day prior to the cruise would be fine; but then realized that our day and a half in Barcelona would be with jet lag and exhaustion, not really getting to experience much in Barcelona, and getting on the cruise still recovering from the time change.

So, we added on an extra extra night in Barcelona – which meant we left Sunday (July 17) afternoon from Baltimore, connecting in Philadelphia, and arriving in Barcelona Monday morning local time for a cruise that leaves on Wednesday July 20.

Surprisingly, everything went as planned. Sunday, we drove to Baltimore around 11 am, after doing last minute packing all morning. We struggled looking for parking at the airport (we’re not familiar with it since we’re new to MD) and some of the lots were full and/or the people looked like they were waiting forever for a shuttle to the airport. Finally we found an “express” lot which was $10/day but the shuttles were waiting immediately to take us to the airport. Lilly happily jumped on board, and was so excited sitting on the shuttle. She was beaming and dancing and grinning and so happy.

We easily checked in – including scanning the passports, checking our luggage, being offered an upgrade to first class for the minor cost of $1500 total for the 3 of us (we declined), and finally we were ready. We got through security with no issues – Lilly is a total pro – she got the baskets for us, took her own shoes off, carried her ticket through all by herself, waiting for me on the other side, and found her shoes and put them back on. We had three carry on’s for the 3 of us: one backpack for each of us. We had to take out our dvd player and computer and “liquids” which were her sunscreen and our toothpastes.

While Lilly was happy as a clam, I wasn’t feeling great. I never feel 100% on travel days, and usually a minor aching head mixed with a little stress turns into a total full blown migraine which often lasts 3 days, so I was weary of how I felt. We had an hour and a half before the flight, so we stopped to get a bite to eat. As soon as we sat down and were ordering, happy go lucky Lilly took a sugar packet, opened it, and poured it on the table – which was our cue to step out for a minute. Lilly and I walked to the store nearby, and I directed her which box was “Excedrin Migraine.” She picked it up, took my credit card, and walked to the counter to pay for it. She did everything herself, except sign my name, and was so proud of herself.

By the time we got back to Jon in the restaurant, happy-go-lucky Jon was drinking a beer and watching golf, relaxed as ever. I took my headache pills and started feeling better myself, and Lilly’s grilled cheese and fries made her happy as can be. When we were finished eating, we got a to-go container for Lilly’s food, and she put everything on her plate into it: including the pickle and parsley. I love how independent she is.

We walked through the airport to our gate, which was one of the last ones. We were on a puddle jumper, a 30 minute flight to Philadelphia. Lilly and Jon got settled together, and I was across the aisle. We didn’t need to take out any of Lilly’s “tricks” for the flight – literally the 3 of us just read the US Airways magazine, and I did the Sudoku puzzle in the back.

We arrived in Philly with 3 hours to spare, but it was worth it. We arrived in F terminal and A terminal was a long walk, followed by a decent shuttle ride, followed by another really long walk. Once in A terminal, but not near our gate yet, we found a playground for kids, so Lilly spent a half hour going down a slide, playing in a fake plane, and shyly making friends with a couple kids.

Then, we began the super long walk to our gate. Along the way, Jon discovered there was a bar with a soccer game, so once we arrived at the gate and found seats, he disappeared for awhile. Lilly watched Elmo on the DVD player, and I read a book on my new Nook. I texted Jon at one point to bring me a McDonalds caramel sundae, and he readily appeared with it, before disappearing again.

The next hour went by fast, and finally it was time to board. We were able to pre-board with families with kids “5 and under” and Lilly was happy to be on a plane again. She hadn’t napped all day, so she was a little exhausted, but still in a good mood. We sat on the plane for about an hour as it was delayed taking off, so she was a little restless – it was bedtime (bc she hadn’t napped) and also dinnertime (which was delayed bc of not taking off on time), so mostly we just played with her “baby” doll, read books and magazines, did stickers, etc. Finally we took off and the flight attendants were quick with starting dinner service. We were in row 9 – just 3 away from 1st class – plus Lilly and I had special meals – kids and vegetarian – so we were eating in no time. Lilly’s meal was perfect for her – chicken fingers (the real kind, not processed nuggets) and ketchup, corn, tater tots (which I stole), a roll, grapes, and milk. My meal was good, rice and vegetables and artichokes, salad, a roll, and fruit with coconut sprinkled on top. I had a diet coke instead of beer/wine because it wasn’t included on the flight (unlike our flights to/from New Zealand with great local complimentary wines); plus I was hesitant about adding anything to the jet lag. In retrospect I think a glass of wine would have made me sleep better, but oh well. Jon got some kind of chicken and I’m not even sure what else because he ate it so quickly! But he did share his brownie with me. Lilly and Jon settled in watching the personal tv’s on the back of the seats – the kids programming had nothing of interest for Lilly, so instead she watched an old episode of Glee. Jon watched some kind of movie. I read my Nook book. Finally, as dinner was cleaned up, Lilly and I headed to the bathroom and brushed our teeth, and by about 8:30 or so, she settled down and fell asleep. I fell asleep about a half hour later.

Jon went to sleep at some point, and slept for the majority of the flight, as did Lilly. I woke up about 2 hours after I originally fell asleep, and try as I might, couldn’t fall asleep. We had a row of 4 – with no one in the 4th seat – so Lilly spread out into two seats, and Jon and I were on each end with an aisle, so we couldn’t put our heads against anything, it wasn’t very comfortable. Plus the guy behind us had his overhead light on the whole flight – which shined brightly into our eyes all night.

Spain is 6 hours ahead of the US East Coast, so we were set to land at 8:30 local time, which meant it felt like 2:30 in the morning to us. Lilly and Jon woke up an hour before landing, and we had coffee, water, and a Danish.

Officially I guess sometime around then, day 1 ended and day 2 began. We got off the plane around 9, and waited awhile for our stroller to arrive. Then we went through customs which was easy, just a short line. We waited awhile for our luggage to arrive, but they provided free carts – and we found a cart for Lilly that had a kids seat so she was happy. We played with stickers and hung out, and finally all the luggage arrived. We finally exited and easily found the Disney Cruise Line representative that greeted us. She checked our name off, and introduced us to our driver, who was friendly but spoke no English. Jon and I practiced remembering Spanish words and phrases we knew better a decade earlier.

We arrived at our hotel around 10 am, the Hilton Diagonal Mar. We picked it because it was one of the “Disney” hotels we could book with our package, and it wasn’t in the middle of everything, which sounded nicer to me – it was in the business district a little further away from Las Ramblas. When we got here, the staff was so friendly, and we had to wait a little bit to check in but when we did, our room was ready so we were happy. We got up to our room, and I was bracing myself for a small European hotel room… and surprise! We had a suite! It was a living room with a sleeper couch, two side chairs, and a desk, and a king sized bedroom on the corner of the building, with a huge marble bathroom, including a bidet (which has just confused Lilly, but she certainly likes it – she keeps wanting to wash her hands in the “kid sized sink.” And, the view from our corner view is amazing – facing the beach on one side and the city on the other. Lilly loves looking outside the windows.

Anyways, good start to the day, with our big room (I guess we were upgraded?), and a not-too-hard travel day behind us. We were exhausted though, and decided to get a quick bite to eat before taking a midday nap (which is our goal each day for the trip – at the beginning to help get adjusted to the time change but mostly to help Lilly stay up for all the nighttime events on the cruise). We walked outside where we knew there was a McDonalds and came across a little bakery with croissants, coffee, etc. We got chocolate croissants (which somehow Lilly didn’t like) and a fruit cup (which she loved). We came back to the room, took baths and showered, and by 12:15 all of us were lying in the bed, ready for a good nap.

We set the alarm for 3, because we didn’t want to sleep all day, and wanted to make sure we were getting adjusted to the time change. I woke up a little after 2, somewhat refreshed but feeling kind of nauseous and disoriented. Jon felt great though, and headed out to get a few things from the local store. There’s a mall across from the Hilton Diagonal Mar, with the McDonalds (with free wifi – that we’ll have to try out soon) and bakery, and tons of restaurants, stores, etc. It has one store in it that’s a multi-level store with one floor that’s like a grocery store, and another that’s like a Target. Perfect. He picked up a few bottles of water, a jug of milk, and some kids yogurts for Lulu.

Meanwhile, I got ready and got Missy Moo up at 3. She ate a yogurt right away, and Jon and I realized we were starving. He went down to the pool area café to check it out, and I got Lilly in her bathing suit. When we met him down at the pool, he had ordered a veggie sandwich and side salad for us to split, with an order of potatoes bravas, and chicken nuggets and French fries for Lilly, which happened to come with side of roasted veggies. The food was all amazing, surprising for hotel food. Literally the best veggie sandwich and side salad I’ve ever had, I think.

It was super windy on the pool deck (floor 2 of the hotel) because we’re a couple blocks from the ocean. Lilly and Jon went in the pool for a little bit, but it was chilly, so we came back up to get dressed to go out. We were trying to decide what to do, so we walked a couple blocks to the beach, and Lilly asked for a bucket and shovel to build a castle, so we decided to walk to the superstore at the mall near our hotel, that Jon had gone to earlier. We found a perfect Disney Princess shovel/pail set and got her a Mickey Mouse beach ball.

But by the time we were done with walking the mall, it was 7. Too late to go back to the beach with Lilly’s new toys, but too early to call it a night, and with our 4pm lunch, we weren’t thinking about dinner. So, we hopped on a local bus for $1.45 Euro’s per person and took a mini tour of the city, and got off near La Rambla, in the tourist area. We walked around a fountain area for a while, and Lilly took pictures of the pigeons. She was extra happy because there was a huge billboard of a gorilla, and said it was the best part of her vacation so far.

We got on the return bus back to the hotel, and got back to the hotel around 8:45. Lilly said she was happy to be back “home.” We stopped in the hotel lobby bar to inquire about sangria, which apparently is a tourist thing – locals wouldn’t order it – but the guy behind the bar said he makes the best sangria. Sold! He took 15 minutes mixing things and chopping and arranging the fruit perfectly – and I have to say, it was in fact great sangria. I was finally feeling less exhausted and out of sorts, so it was nice to relax and unwind. Lilly enjoyed sitting at the bar next to daddy.

Two days down, no complaints so far. However, the best is ahead.

Today is the day!

2011-07-17T04:11:00.000-07:00

In 4 hours, we leave for the airport for the trip of a lifetime. Maybe it's silly to pack up a 5 year old little girl and head over to Europe for 2 weeks. Maybe it's a waste of money that we really shouldn't allocate towards a vacation, to go on a Disney Cruise of the Mediterranean.

But maybe it is just so exactly what our priorities are, and maybe it's exactly what we need as a family.

I love that, since Lilly Lou was born, we haven't played by the rules - but have instead ruled our lives with our hearts, our instincts. We didn't let her chromosomes limit her, or us. I didn't have to sacrifice my career or my mommyhood: I was able to do both at the same time by working from home and being super involved in her life. We took the adventure of living abroad for a year and took advantage of every moment and opportunity; same with our year in New York, taking a 4 year old to Broadway theatres where elderly women would frown at bringing such a small kid to a show, and then at the end introducing themselves to Lilly and saying the loved watching her reactions to the performance.

I love exposing Lilly to every new opportunity, whether it's playing in Central Park or a playground on the beach of New Zealand, or getting her first trampoline in the suburbs, and getting used to living in a "real" house.

I love watching her confidence especially right now - at its peak - as she has her mommy and daddy's undivided attention for a month. That she bops out of her room in the morning, knowing daddy's not at work and that mommy's not overwhelmed with whatever is going on - and knowing each day is just a gift for our family. Her first concern each morning, these days, is to ask daddy if he's gotten coffee for mommy yet. (Because she knows the gift of each day is only a good one if mommy has had coffee.)

It has been an amazing 2 weeks here in our new home. Full of wonderful surprises. The house is so great; only Jon had seen it before we arrived, so it was nice that exceeded our expectations when we moved in. Little things like having a child toilet seat already permanently attached to the half bath (Lilly loves it!). Flowers blooming in the backyard, vegetables and herbs growing in a little garden. Lilly's own playroom where she's set up as her "Lilly cave" and we're only really allowed in with her permission (of course we can see in through the side glass doors which is nice to check up on her). A gourmet kitchen which we are taking full advantage of, cooking every night. A big backyard where Lilly loves exploring, and the freedom of going out to her trampoline whenever she wants because the yard is fenced in.

And even better, who would have predicted, we've moved into a super friendly street - our neighbors are all so welcoming to us; the local church is so nice and the people there make us feel at home. The YMCA has indoor and outdoor pools that Lilly and Jon have explored every day. And, most importantly, the musical theatre camp that Lilly has signed up for in August.

Life is good, in our new house, in our new world. And, like always, Lilly takes these adjustments well; I admire her ability to live in the moment and take advantage of each of life's opportunities.

I love that she totally understands travel - that she's known for the past week that we're going on the airplane, for a long trip. That she's going to see "Disney Mouse." That she can repeat the following, while counting them off on her fingers: "Barcelona, Malta, Sicily, Naples, Capri, Rome, Portofino, Santa Margherita, Corsica, Monaco." That she asked if she can have a backpack just like mommy and daddy for the airplane, and when she says who's coming on the trip, sometimes it's: "Mommy daddy Lilly and Lala" (lala is the name of her portable dvd player - yes, children who don't have pets or siblings will name their electronics and think of them as family) or sometimes it's "Mommy Daddy Lilly Grandma PawPaw Lyndsey Julianne" because she really wishes she could go see her grandparents and cousins instead, even with this "trip of a lifetime."

For me, I've been thinking about this trip for 2 years. And have been planning it for the past 6 months. And now that it's here, I'm nervous and excited and feel like I still could do so much to prepare, but it's just about here. We were up late last night packing, woke up early this morning with anticipation for today. Today isn't a fun day, necessarily, except for the excitement of starting our adventure: today we drive an hour to the airport, take a flight which has a 3 hour layover, then take the overnight redeye to Barcelona. Lilly's good with flying and airports so I'm not "worried" but it's still never relaxing to travel for 15 hours or so, with or without a good little 5 year old. And I worry about everything, from our adjustments to the time difference, to whether there'll be enough to entertain Miss Lilly in Barcelona for the 3 days prior to the cruise, to whether we'll have sea sickness on the plane, to whether we'll forget - or lose - something important.

But mostly, I can't wait to continue the next two weeks of family time, exploring new countries, sharing new experiences with my favorite people, and making the most out of our time together. "Real life" begins August 1, but until then, I'm having a good time immersed in Lilly's world.

Transition and pictures

2011-07-12T05:14:00.000-07:00

June 30, we left NYC and moved to the DC suburbs. The most asked question is: are you sad to leave New York City? The answer is a confident: "Nope!"

It's not that we had a bad year - but it was a really uncomfortable year, if that makes sense. We made the best of it, Lilly had a great time, but it was hard.

So far, in just 2 weeks of being out of the city, our new life is not hard.

Maybe it's because we know we're here "permanently" (except we're renting our house - for 1-3 years - so we'll have to move again, but within the same area). But we love this house so much, we love our neighborhood, we love the stores on the street nearby, we love the restaurants, we love the people we've met, we love the church, and I am so confident about Lilly's new school, which she starts September 1.

We've never lived in the suburbs, since we became a family. Lilly's lived in a small college town, a beautiful foreign country, and the big apple, but never a normal suburban neighborhood. And we're loving it.

Here is my niece Julianne in Charlottesville as we stopped by two weeks ago to meet the movers at our storage unit. We miss Spudnut donuts!

As part of the move from Manhattan, we needed cars, since we had been living the year without any. Jon picked out his first car that was from this century - a 2008 Honda Accord.

Lilly Loo is enjoying her new backyard. During a rain storm last week, we went outside and watered the plants (not practical of course, but it's summer and it's what she felt like doing).

She loves gardening.
Lilly's new front door.
We (I) cooked Saturday night, after our new table and chairs arrived for the screened in porch. How relaxing was it to cook in a big nice kitchen (compared with a tiny NYC kitchen), and eat outside looking at our beautiful backyard (compared with the dining table being in the small living room of our NYC apartment). Proving that we take something from each life experience, a glass of New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc definitely accompanied our meal.

Miss Lilly was relaxed and happy as well.
After dinner, Lilly checked on our vegetable garden, and then ran through the backyard hose - first time with that summertime experience.
Another first: Lilly learned how to write the number "10" for the first time ever - so cool - and we are so proud of that girl! She actually learned it from Elmo and Zoe on Sesame Street, so cheers to tv for teaching my child something! (Mommy helped teach her though, as we watched it together, paused it multiple times to remember how to do it, and the first few times I helped her, before she figured out she could do it on her own - smart girl!)
Last night, Lilly and I baked corn bread - definitely not the first time we've cooked together in our new kitchen, and not the last either. Loving including my girl in the meal process, but we've done that for the past year, so it's not totally new - but having space to do so, and having our real kitchen stuff (which was in storage while we were in NYC) is sooo nice. As usual, Jon popped in at the last minute to help and sample the batter and appear in the picture. :)

Lilly and the Theater

2011-07-09T08:47:00.000-07:00

Last night, we saw the Rockville MD community theater version of Annie.

We all know Lilly loves plays, musicals, movies, music, acting, dancing, theater, productions, Broadway, etc. She has a true appreciation for these things; but even more, she "gets" it - she memorizes plays, she remembers the lines each person says, she figures out the intricacies of the choreography.

She didn't get this from Jon or me; as much as we like "shows" we don't have an eye for it like Lilly does. It's a gift that is unique, and it is amazing to watch her appreciation and understanding of the fine arts.

We've taken her to plays (and concerts and all kinds of things like this) her whole life. Since she saw her first parade at Disney World when she was 13 months, we knew she appreciated these things - her clapping and big grin at that age told a story all its own. She was so little, but she made eye contact with each "character" and it was like they understood her and she understood them. I can't explain it.

And this past year of living near Broadway plays has taken it to a new level - she loves the big productions - and fell in love with Mary Poppins, Mamma Mia, and Lion King on Broadway, along with a number of off-Broadway shows. One of my best moments with her is sitting in our private box at Mary Poppins (which I got on discount for $50/ticket!) and watching her melt into the production. She wasn't just watching Mary Poppins, she was immersed in the experience.

And her birthday came along and we took her to Mamma Mia with our whole family in NYC - and she LOVED it (she had seen it once before on Broadway). My sister said, it's amazing watching Lilly - she is so "at home" in this posh seat, 4 rows from the stage, appreciating the experience as much or more than any other patron.

So when we got ready to go to Annie last night - we weren't sure if a "community theater" version would be "enough" for Lilly. But she ate it up.

As we walk into a theater - we get some looks. She's usually the youngest kid there. People look at us like: "Is she going to behave in here?"

But Lilly holds her head high. She asks politely for her ticket, and waits in line to go inside. She hands her ticket to the ticket taker (is that what they're called?) and takes the stub back from them. Then she goes to the next person and holds her hand out for her "Playbill" (or the alternative as was the case at this community theater version). She walks down the aisle, asking us which row and seats are hers. When we arrive at our seats, she sits down properly, with a big smile, and looks through her Playbill and gets so excited. She doesn't get up and bounce around, she just sits waiting - even if it's a half hour before the play starts. She is patient with anticipation of our upcoming event.

During the peformance, she watches intently through each scene. When complete, she bursts into a huge grin and claps appropriately. She knows to add extra clapping when someone hits a perfect huge note or does a special dance, and laughs at all the right times.

I swear, if you didn't see that Lilly was a little kid, just judging from her behavior alone, you'd thinks she was an Upper East Side elderly expert theater patron. She just "gets" it in a way that is beyond her years, and beyond most of the "average" person's apprecation.

During the intermission, she sits or sometimes stands, and politely chats with us. She does not want to leave walk around or go to the bathroom, because she doesn't want to miss a thing. She doesn't need to be bribed with food or drink or anything to be "good" because she truly understands she's at a special event and is just thrilled to be here. When the play is over, she stands and claps as everyone bows. Many times, she asks if she can meet the actors, which we explain that she can't. Last night, we asked her what her favorite part of the show is; and she said: "Annie."

I love watching my girl in this type of environment, it brings out such an amazing side of her, and her appreciation makes me want to take her back again and again and have her experience as many events like this as she can.

Can't wait to be on the Disney Cruise ship next week so we can have 10 nights of shows!

Life

2011-07-07T07:51:00.000-07:00

I get this way a lot: I have so much to say and start rambling on here that it ends up being the longest post ever with no real point and so I just delete it and move on.

Sometimes I realize in advance that I can't share every emotion, story, or funny thing that happened in a small space, so I try to pick the highlights in advance. Which is what I need to do; otherwise I'll never get a post out, and I really do want to memorialize these days.

And realize, that lots of times when I write on here, it's not to be the funniest/most profound/interesting piece of writing that you've read this year (or even today). Most of the time, it's for me, to remember the funny things that Lilly did, or the way I felt about moving or starting over or our life generally - it's for me, and I can't always put my thoughts into coherent words that others might easily understand and relate to. But, I love going back a year or two later and remembering how it felt to live in a foreign country for the first time, or the hardships of living in the busiest city in the world. Or the relief it felt to be back "home" in Charlottesville, just to move again (and again and again). And, while I try, every post can't be a convincing argument on how amazing it is to be blessed with a beautiful daughter who has Down syndrome - but those of you who come back to read regularly know just how full my heart is, because of my little girl.

I am loving Bethesda, part of the DC suburbs. I love the house we're renting, I love the space (compared with a small NYC apartment, especially), I love living in a suburb instead of a city or a small town or a foreign country. I love Lilly's independence in our new house, how she goes from her playroom to outside on the trampoline and to the potty independently and to her room to read a book. And I love how, with that independence, she wants more than ever to include us in her world. And I love how, with this month off of school and work and obligations, we are able to just go with her flow for once, and do anything she wants, whenever she wants. We rarely have to tell her no right now - not in a spoiled way, but in a "Of course you can go on the trampoline. Of course you can watch Mary Poppins. Of course you can play, laugh, go swimming, be a child enjoying summer."

Most people have this, I realize, but with our moving and traveling and working and craziness, we haven't had a normal summer for Lilly - ever. And I am loving day after day of giving Lilly a great childhood.

Of course, sometimes we have to say no. Lilly asked to see Mary Poppins on Broadway, and I had to turn her down this time. (A month ago, I would have scouted for last minute discount tickets, and she knows it.) And yesterday, when Jon was out looking at cars, Lilly asked if she could get a horse. Because, if daddy gets a car, why shouldn't she get her own mode of transportation? We had to reject that request, although seriously I looked around my backyard to make sure we couldn't squeeze a pony in somewhere... maybe on the trampoline?

And finally, yesterday, I went to the grocery store for our first normal shopping. We had to stock up on everything, as we only moved from NYC with our spices and that's it. (Note: we don't even need spices because our back yard includes a vegetable garden with thyme, basil, and who knows what else...) The best place to stock up on the essentials is Trader Joe's. Their prices are great, and I can get many organic items for the cost of a regular item somewhere else. So, now we have a full pantry and fridge - I spent $275 which for Trader Joe's is next to impossible - I have a hard time spending more than $100 there usually - but I think I literally bought almost every item in the store.

We cooked our first real dinner last night - homemade pizza, salad, baby zucchini, and carrot sticks and dip. Lilly helped make everything, which was great - including bites out of the raw zucchini before we cooked it - she loved it! Love family dinners, especially those prepared with love by my little chef.

So, just another 10 days of moving in and unpacking and organizing and shopping for a few more things (tv stand, bathroom trashcan, karaoke machine - the essentials) and then we have our biggest adventure of our life: our Mediterrean Disney Cruise!! And then... even more normalcy as Jon starts work, Lilly and I hang out for most of August, and then she starts school and I get back to work. Life is good.

Life in America

2011-07-02T20:23:00.001-07:00

There's a billboard in New York City, an advertisement for a storage company, that says: "If you move out of New York City, you'll have to live in America."

New York was definitely an interesting place to live - and immersing ourselves in the city for a year made us really live the NYC lifestyle - but boy is it nice to be back in the real world. While there are positives and negatives to every life experience - and we definitely loved the good times - living in NYC is hard, overall. It was cool seeing Lilly become a city girl - hailing taxi's, holding elevators for people in our building, buying fruit on the street, and asking the doormen if we have packages - all while begging each day if we can see another play on Broadway - but now, being back outside the Big Apple, we are finally breathing again.

In the past week, we went to Atlanta after spending 7 hours at the airport for a 5 hour delayed flight (arriving at my parent's house at 3:30 am Saturday), I was the matron of honor in my best friend Melanie's wedding (congrats Mel and Rick!), Jon and I drove 14 hours from Atlanta to New York City, we packed up and moved out of our NYC apartment, all while working a few days last week too, and started the rest of our life.

Lilly stayed in Atlanta with her grandparents while we moved out - no use in making her life more nuts than it is. Meanwhile, Jon and I drove from NYC to Bethesda MD on Thursday with my 9 year old niece to see the house for the first time - Jon picked it out but I hadn't seen it yet. I was really nervous - but - thank goodness - it's beautiful. The owners were transferred out of the country on an unexpected job assignment for a year or more, so they really cared for their house - it's not a typical "rental property." They had just built on an addition recently - a beautiful kitchen and family room - and their vegetable garden is showing signs of squash, basil, bell peppers, and tomatoes, among other things. I think I love them.

We spent Thursday night in Charlottesville getting the move started from our storage unit (we drove from NYC with just a U-Haul that we packed ourselves but had real movers do the heavy lifting from C-ville) and got to see our old best friends along the way - Lesley, Jamie, Dar and Jen. How amazing to catch up with friends that we used to spend so much time with.

And, yesterday we officially moved in to our new house. My parents and Lilly and my other niece joined us, so there are 7 of us here for the weekend. Moving is relatively smooth - most of our "stuff" we haven't seen in a year or 3 years (we had to pack up a lot of stuff prior to rent our house out for the New Zealand year) - so I think we might throw out a bunch of "important" things that turns out, aren't so important.

Lilly was happy to see her new house, although she's in so many houses & vacations I don't know if she realizes yet this is where she's living for the next year or more. We did set up her bedroom right away, and she is loving it. Shout out again to Land of Nod for their pink ruffle flower duvet/bedding which has followed us from Charlottesville to NYC to Bethesda.

Lilly's having an identity crisis: the same week she had to learn to say she's "five" instead of "four," she also has to say she lives in "DC" instead of "NYC" so a few times when I correct her she tells me she lives in "ABC." Oh well.

And the highlight of the day today was getting Lilly a trampoline. Love it, she is so happy to have a backyard that's all hers and a trampoline and all that comes with living back in "America."

We are all exhausted from our move - and we still have so much more to do (can anyone recommend furniture stores in the DC area? we're not having luck, and need lots of furniture!). But, we look forward to the next two weeks of settling in (which involves throwing out my old Barbri books, I hope), and then heading off to Europe - before coming back to really enjoy our new life here in "America."

Pizza Depression

2011-06-24T05:23:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, there was a little girl who loved pizza. She would eat it every day, if she could. When she was little, she would take the cheese off and eat it separately; and when she grew up, her own little girl ate the pizza the same exact way. Her daughter was just as obsessed with pizza as she was, and her husband grew to have a deep appreciate for pizza as well.

One year, this family lived in a far away land where the pizza was not as delicious. During this year, the mom read a book called Eat Pray Love, and there was a passage in it regarding the best pizza in the world. The mom vowed then and there that one day she would try this pizza, from Pizzeria Da Michele in Naples, Italy.

Two years later, the family decided that there was no better time to go explore Italy, and were happy to find a Disney Cruise that stopped in Naples so that they could eat this pizza. The mom was so happy that she would be able to eat the best pizza in the world, and her mouth would water when reading about it. Every travel guide talked about the Da Michele pizza; and the mom couldn't wait for her little girl to experience it with her.

And then - a month before their trip - they found out that the Pizzeria Da Michele was closed on Sundays - which is the day of the week that they would be in Naples. The mom was devastated. She looked into other pizzerias in town, and while they all seemed good, none were as highly rated as this one pizzeria. Who wants to go halfway around the world, to eat the second best pizza in the world?

So now the mom doesn't know what to do. Should the family tackle the less than safe area of Naples just to have not-as-good (but still probably better than any pizza we've ever had) pizza? Or should we skip the pizza and go to Pompeii? (Which sounds amazing, but we were originally willing to skip this ancient town in favor of amazing pizza.) Or should we go to the Island of Capri, just a ferry ride away, for the day, giving up on pizza altogether? (Or trying Capri's pizza, which I can imagine is still reasonably good.)

The mom didn't know what to do, but the good news is, the family is still living in New York City for a few more days, which arguably also has the best pizza ever, so they'll have to be consoled by that...

The End.

My little bumblebee

2011-06-23T10:27:00.001-07:00

When Lilly was born, and we found out that she definitely had Down syndrome, I was fine with it. I loved her even more and told her I'd give her the best of everything and every opportunity.

But the words - "Down syndrome" - held me back a little. Not from giving her everything and loving her to pieces and being so damn proud of everything she did - but by not knowing if some of her amazingness was just in my head. Like I might be the only one who appreciated her, exactly as she is. It was as if the day she was born I was given a piece of paper that said: "your child has DS and so she won't be as good as you think" or something like that. There is such a stigma on "DS" - from doctors, from society, from everyone. I mean, 92 percent of mommies who have babies like my precious girl don't even give them the opportunity to be born. What do they know that I don't?

So I simultaneously basked in the amazingness of my girl while tempering it with the possibility that it was all in my head, that first year. Which is sad because a baby doesn't even do much their first year - and already was I almost limiting what she could accomplish?

That first year, we had a sorority girl babysitter who fell in love with Lilly. She gushed over her, had enthusiastic energy. She had a passion for life, and a passion for my girl. She would take Lilly to the sorority house to show her off to the other girls, and I was proud that she was proud of my girl. And she took pictures of Lilly for a photography class - and gave them to me towards the end of that year, and I saw my daughter's beauty in the photographs - not in the way a mommy looks as her precious baby - but as an impartial "this little girl really is beautiful."

And Lilly reached her first birthday, and was hitting all these milestones - even though she was delayed with some - but she was signing and saying words and so smiley and cheeky and funny. And I remember, the day after her first birthday, thinking "Lilly is so smart!" And it hit me - I had never allowed myself to use that word before. Like, her having Down syndrome, her being delayed in some areas, prevented her from being smart. But it didn't.

Jon and I watched the Tony Awards the other night - because living in New York City, we're a little more plugged in to the theater than we used to be - and I heard this acceptance speech by Nikki M. James, who won best actress in a musical:

"There’s a story about bumblebees. Physicists couldn’t figure out how they did it, how they flew. And we all know that they do. We’ve seen them do it. They did it because nobody told them that they couldn’t because of sheer will and determination. I come from a long line of bumblebees … I am so grateful that nobody ever told me I couldn’t do it, that I couldn’t fly."

Lilly is that bumblebee. Trust me, I would love her no matter what her capabilities. But for all my worry that first year about what she couldn't or wouldn't be able to do in her life - she blew me away. No one has ever told her that she couldn't do something, and so she's just done everything - successfully.

And ever since then, I've realized - through all our experiences - how strong Lilly is, how motivated, how determined, how smart and how cheeky and how funny and how capable. Life may not always be fair, but she certainly has found her way time and again to make the best of each situation, navigating her way through the world, and teaching so many lessons along the way.

As I look back 5 years since the day she was born, I am amazed at what she's overcome, and how many proud moments we've had. So many times with happy tears in my eyes. What a beautiful adventure we've had together.

Thanks!

2011-06-22T21:31:00.000-07:00

I'm definitely not good - at least in the past few years - at sending thank you cards.

But, I am good at appreciating everything people do for me, whether or not I stop at Hallmark along the way.

Lilly had a great birthday celebratory week (yes, princesses get a full week), especially celebrating with her family and friends. Like me, she may not always remember to say thank you - but you can almost always tell by her expression how much she appreciates life's gifts.

Here is my girl appreciating a card from my Aunt Janet and Uncle Mike. Janie, we love you and miss you! (And by the way, Lilly loved the card and money so much that she patiently held this expression for a full 5 minutes while I searched for a camera to document it.)

What I won't miss

2011-06-22T05:03:00.000-07:00

We only have 8 days until we move from New York City. Lilly just has 2 more sleeps in this apartment, before she spends a week in Atlanta!

Our life here has been interesting. We are in the Upper East Side - in the most elite zipcode in the country, apparently. For the past year "home" has been a small one and half bedroom apartment on the 18th floor of a 36 story doorman building. We have no cars, no backyard, little space; but yet we are in the middle of everything, everything we need is a short walk away.

I will not miss many things about this year. Puddles, for example, on the sidewalk are typically not water. I won't miss avoiding these as we walk by. I also won't miss dog crap that is residued on the sidewalk, from owners who just barely scraped it off. I won't miss the dirty subways and the electrocuted jumbo rats that I've seen there underground. I won't miss the grime that accummulated on our faces after a day of walking around the city. I won't miss people on the streets walking by with a grumpy mean look on their faces, like everyone is pissed off at the world and how hard it is to live in NYC. I won't miss the overpriced rotten produce that I buy at the grocery stores and fruit stands. I won't miss the construction on every corner, the loud noices, and the extreme weather, where it's rarely been between 60 and 80 degrees this year, always over or under.

But there are things I will miss. Like all the conveniences of being able to walk downstairs and buy a bagel, a cup of coffee, a cupcake, a nice dinner, a cell phone, or a trendy dress all right here on my block. The park is a couple blocks away, and the church is on the corner. And walking everywhere has been such a nice change this year: I don't mind walking a mile or two to Whole Foods or Ann Taylor Loft. Lilly has really loved her teachers this year, which is a blessing after our original experience at her first school. (Add that first school to the "not going to miss" pile next to the dog crap; I still am so angry that they allowed Lilly to get bullied and choked and didn't even feel remorseful.)

And living near Lilly's cousins has been wonderful; knowing that every Friday she'll see them at dance class, or knowing we have a built in crew to celebrate a birthday is priceless, as Lilly adores them so much.

And, access to Broadway will be also at the top of Lilly's list of things she'll be sad to leave. Lion King once, Mary Poppins 3 times, Mamma Mia twice, Gazillion Bubble Show, Radio City Music Hall Rockette's Christmas Spectacular, Freckleface Strawberry, just to name a few. It has made such an impression on my little girl, who is constantly belting out Abba as we roam through the city.

What are we looking forward to in our new life ahead of us? For me, the first thing that comes to mind is the kitchen in our new house - a huge beautiful gourmet kitchen will be so dreamy to cook in after our tiny old kitchen here in Manhattan. And unpacking will be amazing - all the stuff that's been in storage this year that we get to rediscover - our furniture, our kitchen stuff, our tv's... And I'm excited about having a backyard for Lilly.

Mixed feelings about driving cars again after this year instead of walking everywhere. And while I'll love the grocery stores in "America" (compared with the awful expensive ones in the city), I'll miss not having everything at my fingertips; asking Jon to walk downstairs and buy a gallon of milk and him being back within 5 minutes will be missed for sure.

In theory I thought I'd fall in love with NYC restaurants but we haven't eaten out this year as much as we would have if we didn't have a child, so I can't say I'll miss them all that much.

And finally, the one thing that I'm surprised about this year is that I haven't felt unsafe like I thought I would. Living in a relatively family friendly neighborhood, if crime exists here, I don't know about it. With a doorman building, we feel safe, and walking down the street, I haven't felt like I'm going to get mugged or anything. (Of course, what are they going to steal - Lilly's bag with crackers and a back up outfit?) But initially I think I was nervous about NYC being hard to live in, and it really hasn't been, from that perspective.

So that's my wrap up of what we will and won't miss, and our final thoughts on the year. I can't wait to begin our next journey... and will NOT miss having this annual adventures of moving to New York City and New Zealand (and moving, period).

Happy Birthday, Lilly

2011-06-20T05:19:00.000-07:00

Dear Lilly,

5 years ago today, you came into our lives. You were adorable and breathtaking and beautiful and demanding right from the start.

I remember looking into your eyes and glimpsing into our sweet soul. I remember looking at your beautiful big lips and chubby cheeks and thinking you were so gorgeous. And I thanked God for you.

And a few hours later, you worried us so much when you couldn't breathe well. And I prayed to God that He would bless you and make you strong. And it was the first of many times that you've had to overcome a challenge - and you've done so each time with grace and strength. You make hard things seem easy, what a wonderful gift.

I remember when you were a few weeks old, and you'd wake up in the morning - can I brag that you always slept through the night - and your daddy and I would fight to see who got to get to you first. Because, as we always said, waking up to Lilly is like waking up to Christmas morning. You were so happy and ready to tackle the day, your positivity was contagious.

I have learned so much from you. I know we haven't made life easy for you, with annual moves, having to say goodbye and hello to so many people, demanding jobs that have often taken quality time away from you. But you are so good at making us prioritize, and showing us what really is important.

I look back at the past 5 years and fall in love a little more with a beautiful baby who has become such a lovely little girl. A girl who appreciates the best life has to offer. And who often brings out the best in those around her. I look forward so much to our future. There are no limits to what you can accomplish, my love, when you set your mind to something. You are already so independent and strong willed, that I don't worry - too much - about where you will go in life. You are so charismatic that I know you will be surrounded by good people as you reach your goals. And you are so cheeky and funny that I know you will have a good time along the way.

So, on today, your fifth birthday, I am proud to be your mommy. You are such a gift to me. Our gift to you, sweet girl, is to spend the month of July with you - mommy, daddy, and Lilly, with no work, no obligations, no distractions in our way. With the adventure of our moving and settling in to a new city, and then exploring Europe together, I know we will have a fantastic time. We have been so lucky to find that adventures with you are so much more enjoyable; you notice and point out to us so many things that many people pass over. You extract the best out of life's moments.

Thank you for being my precious girl.

I love you so much,

Your mommy

A change of plans?

2011-06-19T09:35:00.000-07:00

I've been looking forward to Lilly's 5th birthday for weeks, if not months (or years). It's a big milestone - Lilly being our little girl for 5 years, how much she's accomplished in 5 years, all that we've been through in 5 years, and all the nostolgia of where we were 5 years ago versus now. I planned on revisiting memories, thinking (and blogging) about all kinds of important things, and looking back and looking forward in our lives.

But life's best plans change. Lilly's been sick for the past week - especially the past few days. She stayed home from school two days, she went to the doctor's twice, she's been up each night coughing, she's been having asthma related breathing issues, we've been doing tons of nebulizer treatments, her school birthday party was canceled, and, worst of all, she's been cranky (and quite frankly, a little mean to me!) because she's not feeling so well.

I'd like to think she's at the peak of being sick, and that she'll feel better tomorrow (especially as her preschool graduation - and 5th birthday - are both tomorrow). Crossing our fingers.

But the one thing that being sick does not get in the way of for Lilly: Broadway. We had 10 tickets to Mamma Mia yesterday - for Lilly, Jon, me, my parents, my 3 nieces, my nephew, and my sister, and while Lilly didn't feel great, and coughed a bit through the performance, she was still thrilled to be there. Mamma Mia is an incredible show on Broadway (we saw it in Vegas years ago, and don't think it compares to the Broadway version that we've seen now twice in NYC). Lilly knows every song, loves the characters, thankfully the plot goes over her head a little, and she has a great time - especially with her favorite people.

So that was the highlight. The lowlight of the weekend - and being sick - was when we sang happy birthday to her on Friday night at a restaurant - and for the first time ever during something like that, she burst into tears. It didn't help that they rang a cowbell loudly while the staff sang, and that it was almost 10 pm, and - did I mention - she was diagnosed hours earlier of having deflated lungs in two spots. Poor girl. But she perked up by the end of the song and grinned and high fived her cousins (with tear stained cheeks, poor kid).

Hoping my girl gets back to normal soon. This is the first time in a really long time that she's been sick like this - she hasn't had asthma/lung/bronchial issues like this since the week we moved to New Zealand, 3 years ago. I doubt the NYC air is helping, unlike the fresh New Zealand air though!

And the countdown: Lilly is only in New York City for 5 more "sleeps!" Jon and I are here for another week and a half. Holy moly, I can't believe we're moving to DC so soon...

What's behind, what's ahead.

2011-06-16T05:16:00.000-07:00

A super busy month; I can't even describe accurately how my head is spinning.

What's behind:

Lilly and I took our impromptu trip to Disney World the first weekend of the month, and it was great - as usual. If I had to spend anywhere with Lilly for the rest of my life, just us two, it would be there - because it's so easy to hang out with her there - she's not a child to me, she's a companion who's exploring whatever is going on as much as I am. The bathrooms are always clean, the kids meals are always good and often nutritious, and between the rides and entertainment, we always have smiles on our faces. It made it even better that we were there with Lilly's cousins and my parents - Lilly had such a great time. I can't say enough positive things about the Polynesian as well - especially the Club Level rooms - the food is plentiful (although at the end I just wanted a "real meal" instead of snacks) - the pools are great, the views are spectacular, the location is ideal, and having suprises like the movie "Tangled" on a big screen on the beach at night is something that Lilly still talks about.

On the Sunday of that weekend, we were back and hanging out with Lilly's oldest boyfriend Julian (they've been "dating" since they were born, and are so sweet with each other - they truly have a special bond) and his younger brother Lucas. Meanwhile, Jon and I got to hang out with their parents and had a great time at Bryant Park. The kids enjoyed running around, playing soccer, reading books, having a picnic, and going on the carousel a number of times. We took the subway to Little Italy for a touristy version of "Authentic" Italian, and overall had a great day.

The following Thursday, NYC schools had a holiday so my niece came over for a sleepover and to hang out with Lilly all day. Chilling with her cousins will be the number one thing that Lilly will miss about NYC. (Closely tied with Broadway, of course.) The weather was 95 degrees, so we did a nice little excursion to see Kung Fu Panda 2. I hated it, the girls loved it.

On that Thursday night, we had Jon's celebratory fellowship graduation dinner. It was in the Penthouse suite of a hotel, and it was great to celebrate another accomplishment - of Jon's career, of the end of professional training, of the last time we'll live somewhere for just a year (I hope!). It was a black tie event, so Jon had on a tux, and I was dressed up in a gold dress.

The next day, Friday, we had Lilly's last dance class - bittersweet. She so enjoyed dancing at Downtown Dance Factory in Tribeca - especially since her cousins took classes there too - and it was hard knowing that the phase is over, and we'll have to search hard to find something just as good in Bethesda! (Lilly still doesn't fully realize it's over - she keeps asking to go to dance class.)

This past weekend, Jon was on call. On Saturday, I took Lilly to swimming lessons. She has become such a little fish in the water! I'm so proud of her progress. Afterwards, since it was just the two of us, we took our time coming back home. We stopped first for a slice of pizza, and had a nice little lunch date, just the two of us. It was drizzling so we didn't go to the park, but instead I decided it was mommy's day to teach my girl about shopping. We went to an Ann Taylor where Lilly helped me pick out a pair of shoes - and was actually helpful! Then we went to Victoria's Secret and my little girl proudly took one of their black shopping bags and counted - one by one - to 15 as she loaded it up with cotton underwear, picking out all different colors and patterns. She was quite proud of herself, and took the bag to the counter. I let her pay with my credit card - and I've never been so proud of such excellent swiping skills - although maybe I should be concerned - (she does have a way of stealing money out of my purse already). She proudly took the pink shopping bag full of her purchases and on the walk home, showed everyone we passed: "Look at my underpants!"

Sunday, Jon was on call as well, but work wasn't busy. So, in the afternoon, he took Lilly out with her best friend and her dad, and they went to the Empire State Building and to the park. Then, Jon got half price tickets to the off Broadway Gazillion Bubble Show for the afternoon. Meanwhile, I cleaned and grocery shopped for the week.

This week has been really busy with work - my part time hours are creeping towards full time, which is making me tired from working at night plus all the stuff that needs to be done - like taking care of Lilly after school, figuring out the logistics of our upcoming move, etc.

Lilly had a great Monday - she had speech therapist with a "substitute" and I was so nervous - Lilly sometimes has a mini breakdown in leaving speech - but she was perfect and just so proud of herself that she did such a great job. She had a great session the week before with her regular therapist, so we are making huge progress.

Tuesday, we went to the ENT and he pulled out HUGE amounts of wax out of Lilly's ear - plus one of her tubes that was stuck within the wax (not actually in place to be helpful anymore). She also did a hearing test, which she mostly passed, except one side was slightly less than normal for one portion of it. It could be due to a little fluid in the ear, or it could be something more - so we'll recheck in 3 months, and worst case, they put tubes back in.

Yesterday, Lilly developed quite a cough, and she stayed home from school and I took her to the doctor - who said Lilly is fine - but the appointment wasn't until almost noon, so she had to be home from school all day. But, because she wasn't at school getting dirty, I let her wear one of her new Tea Collection dresses - I cannot say enough positive things about this clothing line. It is gorgeous, the clothes are soft and fit well, and I got a number of items on sale recently on their website and everything is just perfect. Plus, the clothes are Barcelona inspired, which, as we all know, is our destination just 31 days from now...

Anyways, back to Lilly's cough: random advice, but we've found that the best thing for a nonstop-can't-catch-her-breath-cough is actually cold air. We literally stick her head (and ours with her) into the freezer for a couple minutes before she goes to bed, and keep the air conditioning on high in her room. I think it reduces the swelling in her throat and stops her from coughing as badly. (Trust me, we've done everything from nebulizers to steroid shots to er visits, and this is the best remedy: we actually realized it from going to the er a couple winter nights, and by the time she was out in the cold air, she had no symptoms by the time we arrived at the hospital.)

But last night around 2 am, she was coughing a lot, and we put the cold air on high, and then as I was putting her back to sleep, I realized I left a load of laundry in the dryer - in the community laundry room at our apartment complex - so at 2 am, I decided as both a diversion in Lilly's coughing, and also because I wanted to make sure we got her precious duvet cover back in our house - we walking down the hallway and got the laundry. Lilly was thrilled to be up while it was "dark" and help mommy with such an important mission.

What's ahead:

Today I'm busy with work, Lilly's at school, and my parents and niece and nephew are arriving from Atlanta this afternoon.

Tomorrow (Friday) is Lilly's "at school" birthday party. We're ordering pizza for the class, giving out goody bags that my mom put together (thanks!!) and at some point today I need to find cupcakes for Lilly's friends.

This weekend, we'll spend time with my parents, niece and nephew from Atlanta, sister and nieces downtown, and sister and brother in law and nephew from New Jersey.

Saturday, we have 10 tickets to Mamma Mia for Lilly's birthday celebration - in lieu of a real party, this is what really will blow her away this year - all her cousins and aunt and grandparents and Jon and I, going to see her favorite Broadway play. What could be better?

Sunday, my parents drive back home, and we have tentative plans with one of my oldest friends and his wife.

Monday is Lilly's actual 5th birthday - I can't believe it - and there will definitely be a post at some point about how amazing the past 5 years has been. It is also her preschool graduation. I don't know what exactly they're doing for it, but Lilly started singing - and signing - "Lean on me" last night, so I'm assuming that is part of it! Can't wait to be in the audience and watch my girl graduate (yet again - she got to graduate from her Cville preschool last year as well).

Next Friday, we pack Lilly up for her last day in NYC (at least being a resident of this city) and we all fly to Atlanta. Saturday is my best friend Melanie's wedding. Sunday, Lilly stays in Atlanta while Jon and I drive a car up to NYC so that we have a car up here to move to Bethesda.

That week, Lilly-less, we will pack up our apartment and get ready to get the heck out of this city! While we are gone in ATL the prior weekend, Lilly's babysitter is coming to take most of our furniture out of the apartment to set up her new apartment - and a doorman and a handyman in our building are taking a few other things. So our apartment will be somewhat empty our last week. On Wednesday, we move our remaining things - beds, clothes, books, toys, etc - into a Uhaul van. Thursday, since we hate being childless for too long, we will take my niece with us in the car and Jon will drive the van and we'll head to Bethesda! We'll do the house walk-through (where I actually see the house for the first time!), drop off the van, and drive on to Charlottesville. We'll hang out with friends that night, pick up 2 tv's, and early the next morning open up our storage unit so our big move can start.

So that Friday - July 1 - we will move into our house in Bethesda. We'll still have my niece, and my parents will drive up later that day with my other niece and - most importantly - Lilly! We'll spend the weekend unpacking and settling in to our new house. At some point we'll need to buy a couple mattresses and living room furniture. And, if we're lucky, a trampoline or something for the backyard.

My parents and nieces will leave July 4 morning, and that night we already have plans with Lilly's (hopefully) new best friend, Sammi. The girls played together a couple months ago and had a great time - so I am happy that we'll be moving relatively close to her family in the DC area.

Then, for the next couple weeks, we get to just hang out and enjoy our new house. Hopefully find a pool and a good playground. We might make a trip to Savannah to see the person who arguably has more busy-ness going on than me - my sister who is close to giving birth to triplets! And, getting packed for our upcoming trip...

July 17 we leave for Europe! An overnight flight from Baltimore via Philly to Barcelona, then two nights spent in Barcelona before boarding the July 20 Mediterranean Disney Cruise for 10 nights! We are finalizing plans, but at this point we're going to see the Blue Grotto in Malta (anyone who has been on a Turkish Schooner and visited Gozo please let me know if that is a better plan!), a farm visit in Sicily, the best pizza in the world in Naples, a jam-packed private tour in Rome, a tour of Portofino and Santa Margherita (including yet more pizza) from the port of La Spezia, a laid back beach day in Corsica (celebrating my 30th birthday!) and exploring Villefranche and Monaco on our last port day.

By the time we get back to the states late July 30, we will be exhausted. We'll have one day to recover before Jon starts work August 1. Then, Lilly and I tentatively have no plans at all for August (we might find a day camp for Lilly, in which case I'll work that month, but at this point it's up in the air) and she starts school at the end of the month.

Then, I might find time to breathe once again. :)

What's in a Name?

2011-06-14T05:26:00.001-07:00

If you ask Lilly what her name is, she says "Lilly" or "Lilly Sherman." She's confident about that piece of information, just as knows she lives on the 18th floor in NYC and that she's 4 years old, and on her birthday next week she's turning 18. (We have to correct that last piece of knowledge at some point, I guess.)

Recently I heard someone say that they didn't believe in calling their child by anything other than their name, so not to confuse them. Well, every child is different, but I realized: Lilly has so many nicknames!

It would be hard to remember everything we call her, but here's a rough list:

Lilly
Lillian Grace
Lulu
Lilly Loo
Loopy
Monkey
Cracker head
Katunga (no idea why?)
Tunga
Lil
Mamma
Potato head
Baby
Sweetie girl
Ladybug
Cutie patootie
Missy Moo
Lupe
Monkey Joe
Chunga
Loo
Mary Poppins
Pop
Annie

I don't know where most of these names come from. But they do - each and every one of them - come from a place of love and affection. Every time a new name pops out, Lilly totally respondes to it like we've been calling her that for years - she recognizes the way we say it - affectionately calling her "name" - and knows we're talking to her.

Bubbles in the park

2011-06-07T10:56:00.000-07:00

Late at night

2011-06-06T20:39:00.000-07:00

Since we moved to New York, Lilly's been waking up once or twice at night. Not always, but usually she'll call for us around midnight and maybe around 3 am.

We go in her room for a minute, she falls back asleep, and it's not a big deal.

But I've always wondered why she's started doing this. I wondered if it had something to do with being totally potty trained; maybe she's realizing she has to go to the bathroom late at night? Or maybe she just really wants mommy or daddy near her? Or maybe it's just natural sleep rhythyms and she wants to be consoled between rem cycles?

But tonite, I think I may have figured it out.

10 minutes ago, she called my name. I was still awake obsessively compulsively researching stuff for our European trip (actually trying to figure out if there's any way we can add a day or two in Paris to the beginning of our trip, which there isn't and it's ridiculous, but just being honest...). Anyways, I went into her room and she was pretty much unconscious, just needed mommy to lie with her for a minute before she got back into her deep sleep.

And I sat there next to her, wondering why she was up. And then I heard a garbage truck, loudly tossing things into the back. And then I heard the street cleaner truck, its whizzing noise cleaning all the crap off the street. (Literally.) And then I heard the neighbor next door, singing into a microphone (because it sounded like his voice was coming out of speakers) and rat tat tapping on some kind of drum, and a guitar in the background. And I remembered that sometimes I hear a baby whose room is right next to Lilly's in the apartment next door. And throughout the night just a half block away the street is being blown up - literally - as they prepare for the 2nd Avenue subway line. (If you're standing on the street at the time it actually sounds and feels like you're in a warzone. I actually duck sometimes!) And then there are the random doors slamming, cars honking, ambulance sirens - we live near 4 hospitals of course. And being on the 18th floor does not exempt us from hearing drunk people loudly yelling from the street. And the homeless man who lives on our corner ranting about the inequities of life.

So I'm lying there next to Lilly Lou, thinking about why she can't sleep 12 hours uninterrupted, while my head is exploding with all the noise around me...

Huh. It's a wonder any of us can sleep at all in this city?? I know I sleep well just from sheer exhaustion...

Oh well. Just 3 more weeks until we hit the suburbs!

No hablo espanol.

2011-06-05T20:00:00.000-07:00

Last week, Jon and I were talking about our upcoming European adventure. The languages of the cities we are going to are French, Italian, and Spanish. We've been working on the basics with Lilly, teaching her to say hi, bye, thank you, etc in the different languages. I bought a mini travel language guide for France and Italy, and figure we can wing it. And Jon and I both took Spanish in school, so we'd be fine, right?

But then while discussing the Spanish language, we realized that we don't remember anything. Last time I spoke Spanish regularly was when I worked in restaurants during college, and that vocabulary was limited to food items and if something was hot or not. And Jon said he didn't remember much either except...

He said he can give a full neurological exam in Spanish. Which includes asking a patient what their name is, can they follow his finger, and can they stand up, sit down, and push on his hands. Just a guess but I don't think any of that will be helpful on our trip. So... we might be out of luck in Spain.

Plan B: Get a Spanish cheat-sheet.

Don't even pretend to be surprised.

2011-06-05T05:54:00.000-07:00

Lilly and I woke up on Thursday, and I put her on the bus for school. I began my workday, immersed in legislation, and started a couple loads of laundry.

And then I got sidetracked and planned a trip to Disney World. Leaving... a few hours later.

Details to be continued, but Lilly and I had the best 2 days on our mommy-daughter trip, joining my parents and niece and nephew.

Can I say I am so blessed to have a little 4 year old who is willing and ready to jump on a plane at a moment's notice for a 48 hour trip to the happiest place on earth? Seriously, you could not invent a more easy going companion than my little Lilly.

I had a migraine for the last half of the trip - which was killing me - I thought I'd throw up most of the flight home - but Missy Moo easily watched dvd's (Annie and Tangled), read the latest People and In Touch magazines, and followed directions like a champ.

I still am amazed every time I travel - not just by Lilly's easy-ness, but by the rest of the airplane's crazy-ness. Flights to and from Orlando are the worst, the kid-adult ratio is upside down, and between kids crying and kicking seats and adults not knowing to turn off electronics at the appropriate time and wanting to walk around the drink cart repeatedly (seriously, can you wait for the bathroom for like 10 minutes?), the flight was kind of chaotic. But my girl was great, even to the point of putting my head in her lap and singing "Tomorrow" to me. It didn't fix my headache, but it healed my heart.

And as great as our impromptu trip was, it was (relatively) nice to get home last night. Lilly was happy to see her daddy, and today is a blank slate to hang out with friends who are coming in town from Connecticut. First stop: Lilly/Daddy time for breakfast and the park, before our friends arrive, while I get a little work done (cutting my workweek short last week has to have consequences of course, like putting in a couple hours on a Sunday morning - but well worth it).

Life is hard and chaotic and busy sometimes, and other times everything just falls into place. With 2 weeks and a day until my girl turns 5, I'm probably a little more sentimental than usual, but I feel such gratitude for my little family.

Sesame Place

2011-06-01T05:12:00.000-07:00

I'd love for this post to be full of pictures... but it's not. Our camera broke on Saturday; we went to Sesame Place on Monday. We had actually ordered a new camera a week before that should arrive any day, because Lilly is/was going to acquire our old camera for her birthday. (In her mind she's outgrown her kids camera.) Instead, we'll get her a cheap digital camera because any little girl who is going to be 5 years old and visit Europe definitely needs her own Canon.

Anyways.

My sister did take some pics and we bought some from the park so we do have memories, just not ones I can post immediately.

We woke up at 6 am Memorial Day morning, took a taxi to Penn Station at 6:30, and bought our tickets on the 7:15 train to Trenton NJ, picking up a bagel for Miss Lou along the way. We settled in to our seats on the train, and excitedly waited for it to depart. 30 minutes later, we were still waiting. Mechanical problems, apparently.

Luckily, this must be common because they easily switched us to another train across the tracks and we were on our way, a little late but not too inconvenienced.

We arrived in Trenton at 9:30 and got in a cab, arriving at Sesame Place right before they opened, at 9:45. We bought our tickets and walked in at 10. Already a busy day, and we hadn't even started. And, it was 90 degrees.

Sesame Place is no Disney World. It's not trying to be Disney World, but it's important to point out. To me, Disney World is easy, effortless, super clean, imaginative, fun. It may not be to everyone - if you don't know how to avoid the lines, or get out of the heat - but to us, bringing Lilly to a theme park like Disney World couldn't be easier, and fun for all of us.

Sesame Place wasn't bad. Half of the park is water ride, which we avoided due to reviews online about kids and poop and stomach problems resulting from such rides. I can't attest to whether those reviews were accurate or not; but I will say that the lines for the water rides were long. It would have been refreshing I'm sure, but with less than a full day at Sesame Place, we were able to keep busy in the non-water part of the park.

There were a lot of rides for littles like Lilly and her cousin Matthew, who joined us from New Jersey. And they had a blast, despite the heat. A big roller coaster, a Dumbo type ride, a teacup ride, swings that went around, and various other rides. It kept them busy and happy. We went into a character tent, and posed with Abby and Elmo, which the kids loved.

And, we went to the "Elmo's World" live show. And, somebody named Lillian Grace got picked to sit in the front row by herself (with 5 other kids that were hand picked, while we sat in the very back row), and interact and dance with Elmo himself, Mr Noodle, etc. It was very cool, Lilly totally was fine dancing on stage with Elmo. She got a little nervous at one point, but Jon ran down and reassured her and she did great. A natural performer, my girl.

We did the character lunch, which was nice for the characters themselves - and the food was decent and the diet pepsi's were plentiful. It was expensive but worth it, as character meals generally are.

And we saw two more shows after lunch, and a few rides on the carousel, before trecking back the way we came on the taxi, train, taxi 2 1/2 hour experience back home. Exhausting, but fun.

Lilly went to bed at 7. I went to bed at 8.

My review of Sesame Place is that it's a lot of fun for little kids - it fulfilled Lilly's dream of being immersed in a theme park with her favorite people. Elmo has been a huge part of her life since she turned a year old - he got her through her tonsil surgery at 13 months, her nebulizer treatments for the next year, and her three moves since then. So to go where he's on every poster and hanging out around every corner, was a cool thing. The rides were fun for the kids, and side from the heat, it was a fun day for us all.

Would I repeat it anytime soon? Not necessarily - I'm glad we did it this time but it's not one of those Disney things where I'm already planning my next vacation before I've finished the current one. There wasn't the adult fun component - although it was a lot of fun to watch Lilly enjoy herself - but then again, at a Sesame Street themed park, why should they cater to adults?

The one actual complaint I'd have would be that the bathrooms weren't clean - they weren't gross like ones we saw at the train station or in NYC - but they weren't actually clean, and there wasn't soap in many of the sinks, which was strange especially at 10 am when they opened - they shouldn't already be out! And, there wasn't a lot of air conditioned places to escape to like at Disney World, but perhaps in Pennsylvania there aren't as many 90 degree days so this was an anomaly, especially in May. And perhaps we would have enjoyed the heat a little more if we had done the water rides, but we didn't really want to after the not-so-good reviews.

So all in all, it was a good day, Lilly had fun, and we have great memories with her favorite characters and some good rides.

What's for dinner... in July?

2011-05-31T20:42:00.000-07:00

This is neither here nor there; but I didn't stuff myself at dinner tonite like I usually do, so I'm actually a little hungry 6 hours later as I'm about to go to bed... and therefore thinking about food. And consequently, obviously, about our Disney Cruise.

Less than 50 days from now we'll be on our flight to Spain; and while I'm so excited about the ports, the Vatican, the Mediterranean wines, and the princesses for Lilly, I am suddenly excited about the food. And not just the pizza in Naples that I've been dreaming about.

I'm one of those people who just seems to like Disney food - I think it's good at the counter service in the parks, and even better at the sit down restaurants. And now, tonite, remembering our last (and only) prior cruise 18 months ago, it hit me: I loved the Disney Cruise food too!

Because, I'm a vegetarian. A no seafood, no chicken, no exceptions kind of vegetarian. And most times when I go out to eat, there's one option. Maybe two, if you count a salad. Occasionally, there are no options on the menu at a resaurant, and I have to talk to the waiter and occasionally the chef about what I can possibly eat.

But - I was surprised and impressed on our last Disney Cruise that there were not just one vegetarian option on the main entrees - but two. Usually at least two appetizers/salads and two main courses that I could choose between to eat - and every night the menu's changed (as did the restaurants) so I had such a wide variety. Seriously, this isn't normal, but it was definitely good. And they weren't the standard "penne pasta with marinara" options - they were creative, interesting, tasty meals.

So as I lay me down to sleep and my stomach is slightly growling, I will dream of the food that I will soon consume in July... not too far away! (Now if I can only stop myself from eating too much food between now and then so I can confidently wear a bathing suit on the cruise!)

Overextended?

2011-05-29T18:09:00.000-07:00

Some days it feels like there's just a little too much going on.

I went back to work a few ago - part time - but really, full time when you think about it - Lilly's in school about 25 hours a week and I'm working about 25 hours a week. So, not much time leftover. Which makes the extra tasks - grocery shopping, laundry, showering, thinking - extended into the extra hours in the day. Luckily the work itself is ideal - it's exactly what I was doing before, except on a limited scale (which makes me happy that I won't miss Washington legislation this year) so there's no learning curve involved here - I like what I'm doing and I'm good at it (I think). But, the hardship is taking what I've done in the past 6 months - making the family the number one priority - and reshaking the balance a tiny bit to fit it all in again. It's not bad, but it's just an adjustment - meals aren't always homemade, house isn't always clean, Jon's picking up things from the store a little more often - but it's all doable. And I feel lucky that I get to balance the work I love with the family I love.

So if that were that, it wouldn't be too much. But the rest of "life" is overextending us, I think.

When I say we live like tourists, this is what I mean: we are living very transitionally. Because we've moved every year for 4 years, we haven't had any pictures on our walls in years. Our furniture for two of the four years has been temporary furniture (because it's almost as hard to bring furniture into Manhattan as it is to New Zealand). Friends have been even harder to come by - although we've been somewhat lucky at times - but for the most part, weekends are filled with us finding things to do to entertain ourselves. Like tourists.

(One thing that Jon pointed out to me some time ago - was that it's just as hard to entertain a little kid at home as it is out - and, he'd rather be out. So, there we go.)

This weekend, for example. I was busy Saturday organizing pictures (I'm in the process of sorting through about 10,000 moments of Lilly's live and it's exhausting!). So that's a process in itself; but I promised myself when I stopped working that I would finally get photo albums and baby books made for Lilly (and going back to work is not an excuse!). We're about to move for the last time in a month, Lilly is about to turn 5 in a month; it's time we had some pictures of her life printed out.

Meanwhile, Jon Sherman took his beautiful daughter out for the day. Like tourists, they went all over the city - multiple parks, carousel, the Intrepid for a Fleet Week event (they caught the cast of Wicked singing), and scored last minute tickets to Mary Poppins (Lilly's 3rd time this year).

Today, I am still uploading miscellanous pictures to snapfish (that I discovered had previously gone missing in yesterday's organization). But that didn't stop us from jumping on the F train down through Brooklyn to Coney Island. Of course. Lilly played in the sand with two little girls who spoke no English (I believe they were actually Italian tourists, which is prepping her for her Italian adventure in July, right?). She loved building castles. Then we went on the huge ferris wheel, and a bunch of "kiddie" rides that were so intense that we could barely handle them.

Afterwards, we came back uptown so Jon could go to softball practice, Lilly took a mini nap, and I made dinner - a healthy meal of whole wheat pasta, tomato sauce from Italy, and sauteed onions, asparagus, red peppers, and carrots. I even took the vegetables and pureed them into the sauce for Lilly's portion, so she got an extra boost of vegetables. So, being super mom is also on my plate.

So we're exhausted. A normal family after all this excitement would chill out and relax.

So why are we, tomorrow morning at 6:30 am, getting in a taxi headed for Penn Station to get on a train that will take us to Sesame Place - the Sesame Street theme park? Because we have nothing better to do, apparently, and Lilly can hang out with her cousin Matthew amongst all the other preschoolers in the Northeast.

And in the next few weeks, we will be busy packing for our move in just one month, getting ready to celebrate Lilly's birthday (no big party this year - just tickets for 10 to Mamma Mia on Broadway, of course), celebrating my best friend's wedding in Atlanta, finishing up the school year for Lilly and Jon's job here, and moving into our new house. And, apparently, sorting through a gamillion pictures of Miss Lilly Lou - which is harder than it seems, because she is just so adorable in each one, and every single picture I look at, I remember the background story, and take a minute to appreciate every part of who that little girl is. I love her so much, and am so glad we've had such great adventures over the past 5 years.

While July will bring on it's own busy-ness, I look forward to the "only" thing that we have to do is settle in and settle down for the first few weeks. Get to know the neighborhood because DC will be our home for good (hopefully!). And two weeks after that, really relax - as only we can - with our European adventure.

And after that, life. While we can still do touristy things, I'm hoping in theory we'll do more play dates. More time hanging out at the pool. (Note to self: find a local pool.) More time looking through our photo albums that memorialize the past 5 years, remembering how amazing our times have been, but enjoying that we can finally just live our lives.

Vatican tickets - check!

2011-05-27T07:37:00.000-07:00

I can't ever tell if we're interesting or silly.

Who in the world books a trip to Europe with a (soon to be) 5 year old? Who thinks it's a good idea to spend 2 weeks with 2 long 8 hour flights (and two connecting flights and 3 hour layovers each way), 3 days in Barcelona, a 10 night cruise, days spent in Malta, Sicily, Naples, Rome, the Italian and French Rivieras, and Corsica? Insanity, right?

Last night late I prebooked our tickets into the Vatican. Who does that? We are treating ourselves to see the coolest sights and bringing our curious fun-loving daughter along for the ride. I mean, people do it - but not people we know, usually.

As I hit "submit" to a phrase in Italian that I'm still hoping translates to "Vatican tickets," I thought of my Grandma. Lillian Gembecki, whom Miss Lillian Grace Sherman is named after. And how religious she was, and how cool I think she would think it is to go see the center of Catholicism. In a way, by going there and taking Miss Lilly, I feel like I'm honoring her a little bit, and my heritage.

So the hardships of traveling internationally with a young one are far outweighed by the excitement - we've done it before - and it'll be crazy and fun and mostly, memorable. Less than 2 months until we leave! Can't wait to literally show my girl the world.

Appreciative

2011-05-26T08:53:00.000-07:00

One of the things I love the most about Lilly - and she gets it from her daddy, not from me - is her total passion for the unexpected. She is willing to do anything, no fear, total enjoyment, with a complete appreciation for life.

Two nights ago, I put her to bed at 7, as her normal routine now that she doesn't nap. (She sleeps until 7 am usually, thank goodness!)

At 10 pm, Lilly came sleepily walking out of her room. She could have been ready to go back to sleep - I'm not sure what made her wake up - but Jon and I had just turned on the Dancing with the Stars finale on Tivo. So, we invited her to sit down with us.

I've never seen anyone so appreciative of such an event (besides Lilly watching last season's finale with Jennifer Grey, who Lilly adores!). She was captivated, clapping for each dancer, picking who she thought would win, being the best tv companion I've ever had. (Proof? Jon fell asleep halfway through.)

An hour later, we put her to sleep after she "woohoo"ed herself to exhaustion; after she danced along with the "Stars"; after she told us she loved us in a way that showed me - who cares about that hour of sleep she missed, we had the time of our lives.

This is why I love my girl so much. Whether it's staying up late for a show, or appreciating a parade at Disney World, or going for a horse and carriage ride in Central Park, she doesn't take it for granted. She knows life's moments are so precious. And she makes me so proud to be her mom.

--- And speaking of Lilly and bedtime - that same night when I put her to sleep at 7, she said her nighttime prayers. And I talked to her a little bit more about God, and how much He loves us, and how we should be so thankful to Him. And I said to Lilly, "Do you know where God is? He is in the sky, always watching over us." And my clever daughter said: "Like Mary Poppins?" Such a cutie. Then, last night, when we were saying our prayers again, I asked Lilly: "Do you remember where God is?" And Miss Lulu said: "He's in the sky. Like airplanes and Mary Poppins." :)

Close Calls

2011-05-24T10:32:00.001-07:00

Did you know that when Lilly was just a few hours old, the nurses at the hospital were giving her a bath and she turned blue? They immediately gave her oxygen, which she'd breathe in for the next 3 weeks, and called the pediatrician and cardiologist. The pediatrician burst into our room at like 2 or 3 in the morning - just a couple hours after I gave birth to my girl. Jon ran out of the room behind him, and for the next 10 minutes I sat there, crying, praying, not knowing if my little baby girl would die before I could hold her again.

I called the nurses station and told them I was getting up, I needed to see my baby. At some point either I or a nurse pulled out my IV and I ran down the hall. Running to see my girl, to see if she was ok, to see if she'd be all better just by seeing her mommy.

We were half prepared for the DS diagnosis; so that didn't bother us one bit. I could easily love that little sweetheart no matter what. But the medical stuff - the fear that we might lose her before she really got to know us - that was the hardest part.

3 weeks later, she was off the oxygen and was our normal little baby. When you almost lose the person you love the most, the bond that forms is indescribeable. It is what makes me want to spoil her and love her and give her everything and give up my own life for hers if I had to.

In the past 4 years, we've had additional close calls. The time Jon lifted her into the ceiling fan. The two times she ended up in the hospital for pneumonia/RSV/croup variations. The time she passed out from heat in Fiji and hit her head on the pavement. A tonsil surgery and the resulting dehydration a week later. A heart surgery that we were so scared about. Many nights when she was a year and half when she could barely breathe from asthma - with nebulizers going and sitting in the steamy bathroom for hours and standing outside in 30 degree weather, begging Lilly to catch a breath.

And Sunday night, after the best performance I'd ever seen with Miss Lilly being the cutest gummy bear ever - when we were walking home and I was holding Lilly plus a few other things and for some reason I just tripped and fell down and Lilly's head hit the ground. Oh my God, I was so terrified. What if she wasn't ok. She started crying right away - which to me is a good sign that she didn't pass out - and 5 minutes later we were upstairs and she was sitting on the potty, seemingly ok. As I held her and said "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry." I don't even know what happened to make us fall, but I felt horrible. She got off the potty a minute later and turned on "Camp Rock" and started singing and dancing, as I thanked God for protecting my girl.

Then as I finally breathed for the first time in 10 minutes, I realized my knees were covered in blood. I took the brunt of the fall I guess, and 2 days later, my knees are still raw and exposed and bleeding. I didn't even notice because I was so worried about my girl.

There have been so many times that Jon and I have prayed for God to protect our girl. So many times that we've been scared for her, and thankfully, just as many times that she's been ok in the end.

But we are so appreciative of everything. Lilly dancing on a stage? The coolest thing ever. Taking Lilly to Europe just so she can eat at the best pizzeria in the world? Justified. Staying in her room until she falls asleep every night, even though we should be making her more independent? Of course- I want to be there for every waking minute of her day until she starts lightly snoring.

The close calls suck. But how amazing Lilly is with her strength and her spirit. Our girl can overcome anything, and we don't take that for granted.

The Dance Recital

2011-05-23T05:49:00.000-07:00

It's hard to put into words what I witnessed yesterday.

For the past few months, Lilly's been going to hip hop dance class each Friday, the same dance school where her 9 and 12 year old cousins take dance classes. The school is so great. It both encourages kids to do their best, but in a noncompetitive way. The teachers and staff are so positive and had total faith in Lilly's ability, and as such, she met their high standards and succeeded.

This is what we've been trying to say all along. It's not about Down syndrome, it's not about "can she" or "can't she." It's about believing in all childrens' abilities. All the children in the show yesterday did fantastic.

I can't tell you how many times, when a professional encounters my child with a feeling of trepidation or wondering if she can actually do something, Lilly totally senses that and reduces her own standards, sometimes missing the mark.

And then there are those people out there who are good at what they do, those school teachers and therapists and dance teachers and swim instructors, who hold the bar high, and believe in my girl - not despite Down syndrome, but because she is a little girl in their class like any other child, who can do whatever task they put before her.

Lilly thrives on this, and it is my hope that we continue to find people in Lilly's life who maintain this attitude. Because when Lilly knows she can be successful, she blows us away.

This isn't about inclusion, but it is a point for it: Lilly being in a regular dance class without restrictions and her learning the routine perfectly along with the other girls. Getting on a stage in front of about a thousand people and showing her natural talent. I am impressed by her, and so happy that she had such a supportive staff to lead her to this moment.

Lilly wasn't amazing because she has DS or despite her having DS. She was amazing as a little Gummy Bear dancing her cute little orange tail off with her friends. She was applauded by the crowd because her group did a great job. And to witness this was incredible - but the feeling of pride she had in the moment was beyond words. Lilly, may you always know that you can do anything you set your mind to. And may you be surrounded by people who believe in you as much as I do.

A special thanks to her teacher Hanne who went above and beyond - not just with Lilly's class but with the whole dance school who performed yesterday. I don't know how they got 550 kids to perform in 2 sold out shows in unique costumes with great choreography routines without any kind of issues. The audience was blown away by the whole production. It was amazing, and thank you so much.

The home stretch

2011-05-17T20:48:00.000-07:00

It would be an unusual feeling, except that it feels just like it has for the past 4 years. May 2008 - getting ready to move to New Zealand. May 2009 - getting ready to move to Charlottesville. May 2010 - getting ready to move to New York City. May 2011 - getting ready to move to DC.

I've made the requisite enquiries. School and jobs are set up, so we're at the point where we figure out everything else. Cars. Furniture. Doctors. The extra varients like dance, gymnastics, neighborhood pool, hippotherapy, PT/OT/speech. Can I stress it enough? We've done it for the past four years.

And wrapping up our current life. Like finally feeling like we're figuring out life in one location before turning the transfer switch and ending up somewhere else. Doing the "end of year" school stuff for Lilly, figuring out what to do with furniture that won't go with us (everything but clothes and toys), saying our goodbyes. Setting up the logistics of flights and moving and hotels and where we'll be when. Yet we've done that for the past four years too.

One foot out the door, one foot getting ready to step into a new door. Of a house I haven't even seen in person yet, which is unnerving. But we've done that for the past four years as well.

I'm excited and slightly nervous about this next move because it's permanent. We have to make it work and start off on the right foot because we're not moving again in a year this time. We'll set down our roots and hope we meet good friends for us and for Lilly. Hoping we like her school and that Jon likes his job and figuring out what the heck I'm going to do - continue to work part time at what I know and love, or spread my wings for potentially bigger and better? Hard to decide.

And like each year for the past four years, we're saying goodbye to a lifestyle and saying hello to another. Starting to say things to Lilly like, "Soon you won't go in taxi's or take the subway anymore, we're going to get a real car!" Just like two years ago it was warning her that we'd be driving on the wrong side of the road (again) and preparing her that she'll live in a new house (or her old house or a house on a cliff or the eighteenth floor of an apartment in the Upper East Side). Telling her about how much she's going to love her new school and meet new friends, and preparing her to say goodbye to her current friends - especially her best friends, her NY cousins.

Each place we go to is a lifestyle change; we couldn't pick 4 more different cities to live in the past four years, and none are even comparable to our "hometown" of Atlanta. A small town, a foreign country, the big apple, and the suburbs of the nation's capital. I almost feel like I'm having a taste of the Real Housewives of wherever with each move.

But I'm excited. I'm already thinking of ways to spoil my little girl when we get to our new house. Like, hopefully, a trampoline or some kind of swingset for the backyard. And a karaoke machine, very important. And her own bathroom (thank goodness!). And maybe, if I can get really domestic, a little garden - even if it's just herbs in pots on the windowsill. And most of all, promises that we'll be back in Manhattan for Radio City Rockettes Christmas show next winter, and for Annie's return to Broadway in 2012.

And as always, we never move without Lilly's typical "get on an airplane and do something Disney" along the way. On the way to NY, and on the way home from New Zealand we went to Disney World. On the way to New Zealand we went to Disneyland. And so in just 2 months from now we will get on our Disney Cruise in Barcelona and tour the Mediterranean. Just so Lilly has her "normal" Disney transition, of course. (And because moving is not expensive enough on its own, so let's add a vacation at the same time, right?)

Life is interesting, I think. I'm half excited, half dreading, half anticipating, half nervous (4 halfs?) about the next month of closing up shop and getting ready to settle in again. But maybe I'm most nervous about - for the first time since Lilly was born - actually giving up our adventures and tourist lifestyle for a "real" life. But maybe it's about time.

Montauk

2011-05-16T19:43:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, I was a little girl. And my parents brought me to Montauk every summer for 6 weeks to go camping at Hither Hills.

Lilly swinging at Hither Hills

It defined me, having this space of just being a kid. Of running and playing, swinging and laughing, swimming in the ocean and building castles on the beach.

Lilly running on the boardwalk.

I loved the quality time with my family. Meeting friends, riding a bike, soaking in the warm sun, reading books. Being creative because we didn't have a tv to distract us from life.

Lilly the photographer took a picture of us on our 7 year wedding anniversary this weekend.

And I got to bring my daughter back to the very same playground that I spent most of my summers running around. The equipment may have changed over the years, but the feeling of pure happiness has not.

I'm pretty sure that I had the same huge grin at the same age in the same exact spot, 25 years ago.

Most of the time, our lives are hectic. We have so many activities, so many vacations and weekends away; so many unique experiences in our current nomadic lifestyle. We don't usually know how to just stop and live in the moment. But here, we did.

Lilly walking to the beach at our hotel, Driftwood. Which was just renovated and the rooms were beautiful, as was the location. Highly recommended.

The cold weather didn't stop us. The sun wasn't our friend this weekend, but we absolutely made the most of it. Sand in sneakers wouldn't stop us from appreciating the fact that we live in New York City and a weekend away at the beach is to be savoured, no matter the temperature.

Jon on the beach.

And so ourside our comfort zone, I reverted us back to my childhood. We stopped looking at our cell phones (we didn't get signal anyways), sat in the cold sand and lived in the moment of just wanting to teach our little girl to make a good sandcastle. I pushed aside my obsessive compuslive need to be "clean" and dug my hands deep into the sand, showing Lilly where he best sand castle sand would be, slightly damp underneath the powdery sand surface above. Sand got under our nails, in our jackets, on our clothes, and we loved it.

My novice castle maker.

And we explored. We drove all over town, as I explained to my girl and her daddy all the times we had gone here and there. Lilly even put away her i-pod to be in the moment of just driving around, seeing the sights, and feeling the hills on Old Montauk Highway as she laughed out to us: "Wheee! I love this ride!"

Montauk Lighthouse

We ate overpriced food, paid too much for parking at the Lighthouse, and enjoyed the experience of not just doing touristy things, but re-exploring what meant so much to me as a child. These things are priceless, I think.

Daddy's girl.

Every thing we did, I saw myself in my daughter. I remember specifically what it was like to be her age, in the same spot, feeling the same feelings of comfort and excitement and love and security and just pure joy and happiness.

Lilly with her favorite doll doing her "Hannah Montana" modeling pose.

In a way, it was like seeing myself as a child. And wanting to give her everything that I had known and felt at that age. And the best part was, she was totally receptive to it, and was as happy to be there as I wanted her to be, if that makes sense.

Posing outside Gosman's after dinner.

I can't tell you how many times Lilly looked into my eyes with a huge grin and said "excited!" It almost made me want to buy a 4 million dollar house in town, just to give her that feeling every day of her life. (Somehow we couldn't raise the funds for such a house.)

Lilly with my cousin Taylor, who lives in the Hamptons. Lilly adored her.

So since we forgot to be millionares so we could retire in our 30's to a house on the beach, we just had to soak up all the raw happiness while we were there. As much as we loved the beach and simplicity in New Zealand, this was like my "home" as a child and it meant so much more being here. Walking the same paths holding my daughter's hand that I remember walking myself as a little girl, holding my mommy's hand.

Walking down the stairs at Hither Hills where I always remember my mom pointing out the sweet smelling honeysuckles to me.

As the weekend started to wrap up, I got sad, and more nostolgic. I wondered, what would we provide to Lilly to give her these same feelings that I have from my childhood? What would be the legacy that she would someday say to someone: "I remember when I was little..."

Lilly and her daddy resting at a campsite.

We will move for the last time this summer. Our super unique experiences - travel, Broadway, living overseas, moving every year, will taper off. And in its place Lilly will finally have a home that she will remember. Normalcy, routines that last longer than a year. Yet I can't help but hope that each summer we can sneak off, maybe for just a week, to Hither Hills and teach her how to camp, to amuse herself, to enjoy being outside and enter a sandcastle contest with training and preparation from her mommy (who has a few sand castle championships under her belt). To teach Lilly to just be a kid for a little bit. To pass on the tradition that her mommy got from her own mommy, so that in 25 years when Lilly visits the beach here, she will take in a deep breath just like I did this weekend and feel total relaxation and peace.

But either way, Lilly had a great weekend. And so did we.

Mother's Day Pictures...

2011-05-10T05:18:00.000-07:00

Mother's Day.

2011-05-09T05:30:00.000-07:00

I could tell you all the bad parts of our Mother's Day weekend.

Saturday was nuts, I guess. Lilly and I had a jam-packed day, which meant, not even time for a shower for me in the morning; I thought maybe I'd catch up later in the day. Lilly swimming instructor was sick so she didn't want to get in the pool with the substitute.

We didn't have time to come back between swimming and our afternoon plans, so I never did sneak in that shower. We saw Mary Poppins on Broadway (for the second time this year) and Lilly thought the part with Mr Banks at work was boring and shouted down to the stage: "I don't want Mary Poppins." We came home exhausted, and I was able to take a bath with Lilly to finally get clean. Jon was exhausted from working all day, and we both did not communicate very well, and had a little fight. Lilly went to sleep and woke up a half hour later having a croupy cough which lasted a while and she even threw up a little, and we had to sick her head in the freezer for a couple minutes to resolve it (we've found that super cold air reduces the swollenness of her throat when she has a coughing spell - later, we kept the air really cold in her room all night). Since she was so sick, we canceled our plans to go out to my sister's on Mother's day for brunch.

Sunday morning, Lilly greeted me on Mother's Day at 6 am (an hour earlier than normal). I immediately had a migraine, which is still there somewhat now. She was full of energy, and yet sick, if that makes sense (I'm sure it will to most parents). Jon made me coffee before he went to work at 7, and as I took my first sip I noticed some linty looking hairs in it - yuck. I put it down.

By 8, Lilly and I were making progress on our day, bringing the first load (of 4) of laundry that we were doing this morning. We have laundry on our floor (although it's $5 a load!), and when we came back 45 minutes later to put the laundry in the dryer, the laundry smelled horrible, and the machine was still half full of stinky water. Apparently, it broke halfway through. So Lilly and I had to gather the soaking wet dirty laundry and bring it up to the 19th floor to start the load - again- there. Then we managed to do all the other loads on the other floor. Meanwhile, halfway through one of the loads, Lilly put the laundry money card down and we couldn't find it again - right after I put $50 on it. Ugh.

Then, Lilly was playing with Curious George, and decided he needed to go to bed. But first, she needed to teach him how to go to the bathroom. Whatever occured in that bathroom after she shut the door is a mystery to me, but 5 minutes later I opened the door and the entire floor was covered in more peepee than Lilly and the monkey could produce, combined. Seriously?

So then I had to clean up all the urine off all the surfaces of the bathroom, while keeping Lilly from walking with her peepee body all of the apartment. So I put her in the tub to clean her off, and realized that when I cleaned the shower last night with a new cleaner, it hadn't totally washed off the floor, so if I turned the drain on in the bath Lilly would essentially be sitting in bleach. So, I'm simultaneously trying to clean the cleaner off the floor of the tub, while cleaning the pee off of Lilly, while trying not to step in too much pee on the floor of the bathroom... Seriously?

I managed to get both Lilly and the bathroom cleaned up, and got her dressed, before we had to walk up to the 19th floor for the gazillionth time to put laundry in the washer and dryer; having to put money on a new card on the way since we lost the one I had just put $50 on. Meanwhile, Lilly kept getting confused on the 19th floor since she lives on he 18th floor and they look identical and she kept not understanding why we were taking so many stairs...

Mother's Day was turning out to be a disaster. Between Lilly being sick, my migraine, our catastrophies, and a daddy MIA (ok, he's at work saving lives, but still..) it was a little nutty. I ended up having to cancel our afternoon plans with good friends of ours, which I had really looked forward to. :(

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But, there's another perspective to this Mother's Day weekend. And, it's the one I'd like to take with me...

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I knew in advance that with Jon being on call this weekend, things would be a little nuts. So, I decided to take advantage of the Lilly/mommy time and scheduled a special day for the two of us on Saturday.

We woke up Saturday morning and Lilly immediately asked if we could go get a bagel. I said "yes" even though we had some in the apartment, because it's such a treat to go out with her in the morning like this. We put on our matching blue dresses with matching black leggings and walked downstairs. Lilly had her pink purse on her arm. We went to Daisy's, the cute cafe down the block from us, and Lilly ordered a bagel with cream cheese (no suprise there) while I got a refreshing cappuccino. It was heaven sitting there with my girl at 8 am on a weekend morning, eating and drinking coffee and sharing small talk. Lilly charmed a family sitting next to us (of course), and she and I talked about our day, and our future plans.

When we were finished, we came back upstairs, and got ready for swim class. At 9:30 we left the apartment for a 2 mile walk down to the Millenium Hotel for Lilly's swimming lesson. It turned out to be a beautiful morning - cold enough for a little jacket but sunny and pretty. Lilly sat in the stroller listening to her Ipod while I got in a good walk.

Lilly was excited about her swimming class, although a little nervous since her normal teacher wasn't there. After a little while, she jumped in and showed off her swimming skills. Her confidence and enthusiasm enhances her swimming efforts; she wants to be a good swimmer and so she is. She eagerly swam from one side of the pool to the other to get a little duck. Motivation.

Towards the end of the lesson, Lilly's daddy showed up which made her so happy. He then suggested that we walk over to Times Square early and get some lunch. Instead of the shower and that I had been hoping for after swimming, I traded it in for some unexpected family time - even better.

We walked over to Times Square and picked up our Mary Poppins tickets for the 2 pm show. Lilly was so excited when we got near the theater; and she posed for pictures outside with me. We still had a couple hours before the show started, so we went to a Mexican restaurant for lunch. The guacamole was amazing - made at the table in front of us - and it was a relaxing meal, although Jon was answering pages most of the time.

Next, we walked over to the Disney store, where we checked out princess dresses (didn't buy any) and watched a big screen with videos of Lilly's favorite movie clips - Tangled, Princess and the Frog, etc. Jon had to go back to work, and it was almost time for our mommy/daughter afternoon to continue at Mary Poppins!

We arrived at 1:15 for the 2pm show. They let us in the theater, but we weren't able to go to our seats until 1:30. It was nice arriving early though; we had to access our seats through the balcony, so it wasn't crowded yet to go in the elevator to the top floor. Lilly went to the bathroom all by herself (like, in the stall, lock the door and keep mommy out by-herself) but it was fine with me since it was relatively empty (and I made sure before she went in that I could probably crawl under in an emergency). She was proud of herself, as she loves being independent.

We killed the next 10 minutes looking at the merchandise area - they had a Mary Poppins Barbie doll that was so adorable and Lilly loved - especially her purse. And there was also a Mary Poppins kid-sized that Lilly loved as well, and the lady behind the counter was amused by Lilly's fascination with purses. Lilly and I were still wearing our matching blue dresses and got lots of attention.

Finally, the theater doors opened up, and Lilly and I made our way down to our seats. We had, in my opinion, the best seats in the house. We were in a "box" just the two of us. The disclaimer is that there are probably seats that have better views, generally - especially on the orchestra level. And Lilly had to sit on a booster to see, especially with a bar in front of her eye level (because we were high up). But once the show started, we could see perfectly, and it was so amazing to have just the two of us in our own "box" with so much room. No one in front or behind us to worry about the view; no one near us distracting us by getting up or coming in late. No one to worry about if Lilly had to whisper something to me in the middle of the show. And the space itself was amazing (which to a New Yorker - which I now quasi consider myself - having space is priceless) - being able to keep our backpack and stroller in the box with us, having room for Lilly to walk around at intermission, and having our own private staircase to leave at the end so we weren't exiting with the masses - was so nice. Plus, I got the seats on sale for $50/each, which is a great deal.

The show itself was great, just like last time. Lilly was so excited when it started. She loved each song, and was in love with Mary Poppins. She clapped enthusiastically, and just had such an appreciation for the experience. My favorite part was realizing that, sometimes when Lilly was clapping, it wasn't just that she loved it - but you could see in her expression that she was proud of the actors - if that makes sense. Like she didn't just like the song and dancing, but that she was so happy they did a great job singing and dancing. Does that make sense?

Afterwards, Lilly gave me a few huge hugs and kisses and "I love you"s and it was so worth it to plan this special event with my girl. The two elderly ladies in the box above us chatted with Lilly about her favorite part. Lilly said it was when Mary Poppins flew by us at the end.

We left the theater and made our way back uptown in a taxi. When we got inside, we immediately went to the bath. I still hadn't had a shower, so I put on my swim suit and hopped in the bath with Lilly. My girl even washed my hair, which was kind of relaxing - I don't think someone's washed my hair in a bath since I was Lilly's age! All in all, I had a great afternoon with my girl.

The next morning, as stated above, was a little nuts. But the positives: Lilly was in a great mood, even for being sick and being forced to do so much laundry with me. (It's hard in an apartment to do laundry because we have to keep leaving, so each time I have to bring Lilly with me outside our apartment down the hall or up to another floor - it's not like in a house where I can just run upstairs and put in the load.) But she was a trooper and was very helpful.

Jon came home finally and took Lilly to the park so that I could focus on getting the rest of the laundry done and cleaning the house. At 2:30, I met up with them at Central Park and we went in a horse and carriage ride - just like in the movies. Lilly felt so special, she was so excited to do something like this that she'd seen so many times when we walk through the park. Plus, there's a princess factor to the experience. For a few minutes, she waved to everyone we passed by (as princesses do in parades, of course) and then she got her camera out and took pictures the rest of the way.

Afterwards, we walked to the zoo and since we have an annual pass, went in and walked around for a few minutes. We went to the petting zoo as well and Lilly tried feeding the sheep, although she was nervous - so mostly Jon and I fed the sheep.

Afterwards it was time for an early dinner. I was still sad that we had to cancel our earlier plans with friends because Jon's pager was going off nonstop and Lilly being sick and the pure chaos of our day; but we decided to make the most of it and went to our favorite local Italian restaurant, a couple blocks from the house.

The food was great, and Lilly was exhausted which meant she was laid back during dinner. We beat the rush (at 4:45, dinner is not that busy yet!) so the restaurant was half-full. Lilly loved her pasta and I loved my fettuccini alfredo and Jon loved his chicken marsala.

When Lilly was finished eating, she started looking around to see whether she wanted to be mischievous or not. She started to get up, and the chef came over. Then he said: "Do you want to make a pizza?" Are you kidding me, we were thinking, of course she wants to help make a pizza. The chef took Lilly's hand, and brought her into the kitchen. The owner came over and told us we could go take pictures. We went back to the kitchen as Lilly is standing on a chair, being taught how to toss pizza dough. Holy moly, what an experience. Then she put on the sauce, cheese, etc. He showed her how to put it in the oven, and then the owner said to us: "It'll be ready in 5 minutes, and she can take it home."

What a super cool experience for Lilly! She was so happy, and we were thrilled to watch. The owners were so cool for letting Lilly do this, and it was something we'll always remember. It's hard to put words on the experience - maybe magical would be a good one though. It's like they knew Lilly would love it as much as they would love showing her, if that makes sense.

It was just the perfect end to a perfect day and a perfect weekend.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's funny how perspective can be. This weekend was half crazy chaotic and half wonderful amazingness. I guess that's how life is. Half empty, or half full. With Lilly, we always seem to notice the great more than anything else.

As Jon and I were walking home from dinner last night, still on a "high" from watching Lilly's cool pizza making experience, I said to him, it's like when Lilly was born, we were handed "rose colored glasses." Seeing things through her eyes, seeing all she appreciates and experiences, we don't notice anything else. Jon, of course, added his two cents: "It's like beer goggles?"

Either way, when we get to do fun things like catch a Broadway show or have an unexpected personal pizza making experience for Lilly, it's like the magic in Lilly merges with the magic of the experience and creates a feeling of pure joy for Jon and I to witness. It almost makes us forget that Lilly's favorite monkey was peed on and that I had a migraine and that our plans were canceled and changed.

It is so worth it to just be in the moment with our girl. She makes me so proud to be her mommy. Happy Mother's Day to my mom and to all the moms out there. And to the little girl who made me a mom - I love you, Lilly.

This and that

2011-05-05T10:16:00.000-07:00

Last night, I covered the entire living room with clothes. Stacks and stacks and stacks of clothes, all belonging to Miss Lilly. I can't believe how much she's grown since last summer, so all the size 4 clothes were taken out and promptly put away. She has some size 5's and I took those and a bunch of hand me downs from Lilly's cousins, and laid out all the shirts and all the pants and mix and matched. No kidding, it took like 2 hours. Jon at one point said something like: "I have no idea what you're doing but I couldn't do it."

We ended up with about two dozen decent play clothes school outfits - most of the pants hand me down, some of the shirts from last year, and some of the shirts new. Lilly will be well dressed for the last few months of the school year. Assuming the weather actually becomes real spring-like - it's still in the 40's many mornings! And I paired up another dozen warm weather outfits that I set aside for summer.

Speaking of my living room - we (I) once again shook things up by moving around all Lilly's toys and the couches and all the furniture. I like to do this once a month to keep Lilly on her toes - she then appreciates her toys more, and thinks it's funny that the couch is in a new spot. She even found a way to use the couches as a gymnastics tool.

And, she discovered the baton this week. I put on a show with an old baton (not that I'm that good at it, but I can do a few tricks) and Lilly didn't really attempt much with it. Then, the next day, she had Jon and I sit on the couch and watch her do her own show - and while I hadn't seen her practice in the meantime, she was quite excellent twirling. Such natual talent, that girl.

And her other talent is the violin. Not that we own one. So she takes her guitar and a fairy wand and pretends to play the violin. Do I see lessons in her future...? (Of course, I'm more partial to the piano and am already wondering how I can secretly hint to Jon and/or Santa for this as my Christmas present this year. Not that either one of them reads the blog...)

That's all for now. Just procrastinating cleaning up the house and getting a little more work done before Lulu gets home from school... (Did I mention? I'm working part time doing the same legal analyst job I was doing before, but with flexibility... I knew I couldn't spend a year without looking at Washington legislation!)

A Tuesday

2011-05-03T20:26:00.000-07:00

Trust. And faith. And fun.

I have such faith that there are good things in our life. Hearing Lilly say her bedtime prayers affirms that there is truly a God listening to her and blessing our family and that He's pretty proud of her too.

Tuesdays are "fun" days at our house. It's the only day of the week where Lilly has no after school activity. (Speech x2, swimming, soccer, dance, Broadway, the usual.) So the other option is to make Tuesdays really boring and tedious; but instead we always try to come up with a fun activity.

Today, we made homemade play dough. She poured everything and mixed it together in a pot, and then I cooked it, and then it was ready. I didn't use food coloring because I wasn't sure if it would get on our hands, so instead we had bland white play dough. But it inspired our creativity. We made lots of snowmen. And we made lots of "eggs" which Lilly then pretended to crack, pour and stir into scrambled eggs. It was a lot of fun with my girl.

Then, after dinner, Jon still wasn't home, so Lilly and I were thinking of something to do. I needed half and half, and instead of having Jon stop on the way to pick it up, I told Lilly that we were going to the store.

Normally after dinner she takes a bath, so she loves the days when I mix things up. She asked if we were going to get a bagel, and I told her no, we were going to get milk for my coffee. She ran into her room, shut the door, and came out 2 minutes later with her fancy brown shoes on. I handed her a five dollar bill, and she asked for a purse. She found her purse by the front door (of course) and put the money inside, got on her jacket, and walked out the door.

She was grinning ear to ear when we got in the elevator. She pushed "L" for "Lobby" (and Lilly) and happily walked out the door and down the street to our outrageously priced gourmet grocer. (Although half and half isn't too bad.) Right before the Grace's Market, she stopped to "window shop" at a toy store where there are Sesame Street dolls in the window. After looking a minute at those, she spotted a Justin Bieber "barbie" and sang loudly "Baby Baby Baby, Oh..." (I swear that while I rolled my eyes at the time, we'll probably own that Justin Bieber doll really soon.)

Lilly resumed her walk into Grace's, and I directed her through the crowd to the back. I showed her which one is mommy's half and half, and she was so proud. "Mommy's coffee milk!" We walked towards the front to pay, and Lilly totally knew what to do. She put her item up, the lady scanned it and said the price, Lilly gave her a $5, then took the change back. I don't know what makes other moms proud, but witnessing my child shop independently definitely brought a tear to my eyes.

Lilly put the change in her purse, grabbed the bag with the half and half, and confidently walked back outside. She knew which way to walk on the busy Upper East Side streets to get us back to the apartment, stopping briefly to wave at Justin Bieber again. She went inside our building, showing the doorman "I got milk!" and when we got in the elevator she showed the other passengers "coffee! milk!" She carried it proudly into our apartment, and our expedition was complete.

I have such a fun time with my girl. She appreciates that I trust her to be able to accomplish things, and she learns so much in the process of becoming independent, and letting me step back and let her have control of the situations. My coffee will taste a little bit sweeter in the morning.

Growing and moving.

2011-05-03T10:01:00.000-07:00

There is something so fascinating about development. I consider us extra lucky that Lilly allows us to see all those in-between steps that many parents might take for granted. Lilly takes her time with each milestone and I love watching her thought processes and the way her body and mind learn how to do things one step at a time until she's accomplished something really cool.

The easiest place to see development is physical - like this year she's learned how to do amazing jumping. And her dance moves are constantly improving, of course, but actually she's always been advanced at that so that's not a surprise.

And in speech, we see Lilly not only say a million new things each day, but pronounce words so much clearer. Total proud moments, as our daughter fascinates us with her new language and communcation skills.

But what I don't always see is the totality of her brain development, because it's not black and white. It's not a concrete "one day she can't do it and the next day she can" the way it is with jumping, for example. But when we do see that she totally gets a concept that we didn't previously know that she knew, it is such a cool thing.

Yesterday, Lilly and I were talking, having a little mommy and daughter time. And Lilly said "Where's daddy?" And I said: "Where do you think?" And she said: "Daddy getting a house." (Jon was actually at work, but the week before she knew that he was in DC looking at houses for us to rent.) So I said: "Yes, daddy got us a new house." And she said: "Mommy, daddy and Lilly go on airplane, to the house."

And it just struck me as being so interesting, that Lilly understands that in a few months we're actually moving to DC to the new house, and that even though I never told Lilly we're taking an airplane to get here, she totally gets the concept of relocating, and that we'll go on the airplane and then live in a new area in a new house. That she took the little information I gave her, and paired it with the fact that a year ago, she got on an airplane and moved to a new house in NY. And two years ago, in NZ, she got on an airplane and moved into her house in VA. To Lilly, if your daddy gets you a house, then you get on an airplane soon and move there.

I don't know, it was just a funny moment where I realized Lilly totally gets the world more than even I give her credit for. Like last week, when I first told her about the house, and I told her that daddy would get us a house and we'd get a trampoline for her and she'd have her own bathroom and the house would be so nice... and Miss Lilly responded by singing from Annie: "Easy Street, Easy Street, where the rich folk play..."

I love my little funny girl.

About a girl

2011-04-29T07:53:00.000-07:00

"Down syndrome."

Most of the time you hear about it when someone's gone for one of those 12 week nuchal translucency screening tests, or a 20 week amnio. Someone casually says they've gone to the doctor and have "ruled out Down syndome."

And it's in the news now and then. Stories about medical risks of a child with Down syndrome, statistics concerning the heart, thyroid, etc. Stories about new ways to find if your baby will have Down syndrome, and the procedures you can do to end such a pregnancy. And if you ask a doctor, they'll tell you about the possible health concerns.

Unless you are personally affected by a person with Down syndrome, this is what you know. The stereotypes, the news stories, the medical issues.

And then there are those of us who have a little child with Down syndrome living in our homes. A daughter or a son weaved into our worlds. A house that is not known by complications and risk factors but instead by the way that our child adds to the amazingness of our lives.

We were pregnant and learned "about Down syndrome." But for the past 4+ years our world has just been "about a girl." A beautiful girl who is just like any other little girl. Her extra chromosome doesn't make her less or different, any more than any child has similarities or differences. Her weakness is math, but you should see her learn complicated choreography that most adults can't conquer. Her speech isn't perfect, but she knows the words to more songs than I do. Some things may be hard for her, but I've never seen a person have a bigger smile on her face as she overcomes life's challenges.

Down syndrome is part of our world. But life, daily life, is about being in the kitchen with a little girl on a stool helping me cook each night for dinner, before hopping down to set the table - she knows exactly what we need - the number of forks, plates, glasses... It's about booking seats 6 rows from the stage on the aisle for Mamma Mia for her birthday, because she will go crazy singing along to the Abba songs (and it'll be the second time she's seen it on Broadway!). It's about using each experience to teach her and learning more from her in the process. It's about witnessing beautiful friendships that I'm kind of jealous of, because people are naturally drawn to my girl. It's about being overscheduled like any other child - swimming, soccer and hip hop dance being part of her normal weekly routine, in addition to preschool, play dates, and going down the tallest slide at the park. It's about braiding and styling her hair, while bribing her with gummy vitamins so she'll sit for a little bit, and then having her run to a mirror to tell me she's "pretty." It's about the "hug and kiss" that she demands from her parents, and the way she's so self-sufficient for a little girl, and that she was kind of happy to watch part of the royal wedding on tv - especially the little flower girls - and how she asked if she can be a princess too. I told her, of course you can.

My hope is that one day, Down syndrome is more associated with the people we've gotten to know that have this extra chromosome - who they are, what they do, how they're normal valued members of society - and not the medical conditions they might have or the learning disabilities. Personally, I get migraine headaches, had Lasik surgery to fix my poor eyesight, and had an ulcer in law school, but would hate for that to be all that the world knows about me.

Lilly is just a little girl and is genuinely the best daughter a mommy could ask for. She's fulfilled all of my dreams of what my child would be like, DS or not.

Spring Break!

2011-04-28T03:29:00.000-07:00

How do I briefly catch up on two weeks of being gone?

We were on Spring Break. And although it seems like we're always going or planning a vacation, this time we just flew down to Atlanta to see family.

Lilly had a blast with her cousins, as always. And her favorite thing to do was jump on the trampoline at my parents' house. She had a great week (10 days, actually - NYC gives a long break!) and we both came back exhausted. And I really enjoyed spending time with our parents, especially a lot of quality time with my mom, and also got to see my friends a few times for dinner, and got to shop a little as well! (Nothing too crazy, my most-frequent store was Target.)

Lilly got in the habit on our trip of taking a nap, which she usually only does on "vacation" like when we're at Disney World but it's so nice because then she can stay up late and hang out with the older kids and grown ups. She didn't miss a Dancing with the Stars or American Idol episode all week. And, I'd like to pick up the routine when we get to Europe this summer because it sure would be nice for Lilly to be well-rested and able to stay up late on our cruise. The funny thing is, though, that some nights Lilly was up until midnight and got into the habit of sleeping until 9 am for a few days - funny for a little girl who usually wakes up at 7 like she has an internal clock.

Oh, and... we got a house. To rent, of course, the DC area is super expensive. Jon was in DC for the past 3 days doing preliminary work stuff, and while he was there he looked at 5 houses that we had narrowed down. They were all ok, and suddenly a new listing popped up Monday night and he was able to see it Tuesday morning and loved it and we put in an offer and now it's ours, from July 1 for a year, possibly two.

It's in Bethesda, but near the South part of Kensington, so the location is great - it's less than 3 miles to Lilly's school and less than 10 miles to Jon's work in DC. It doesn't have the 2 car garage that we want, but the backyard is really nice and fenced in and I can't wait for Lilly to start playing back there (especially after a year in New Zealand and NY, both without backyards). It's from 1950, but the kitchen is remodeled and gorgeous - I am so looking forward to cooking with Lilly in it, and the bathrooms are updated. I've only seen pictures, so trusting Jon picked out a good one - but the realtor loved it as well for us. So, we're not only excited about the house but happy to get this checked off our list. Now, we have a free weekend in May (our original weekend that we had planned to go down there) that we can possibly go out to Montauk instead. :)

But for now, we're settled back in our NYC apartment. We got back last night and Lilly sleepily ate mac n cheese before crashing hard (aka sleeping) and I vegged on the couch to catch up on all my guilty pleasure tv shows that I've missed for the past week. Today I'll worry about unpacking and groceries.

Lilly's Daddy, and other stories...

2011-04-15T05:26:00.000-07:00

In case you're wondering, the IEP meeting went ok yesterday - not that it matters really since we're leaving NY so it won't be implemented here (and when we move to the DC area we'll still do some kind of IEP to get related services like speech but it won't be as important since she'll be in a private school). So, going into it, it wasn't as intense an experience as it could have been. Only one person in the room had ever met Lilly - and that was for less than an hour - so it was a little ironic that they were in theory deciding her educational future. It was nice though, that this psychologist's evaluation was much better than the evaluations we had last year, and they recognized all of Lilly's strengths in addition to her areas of opportunity (i.e., weaknesses - which the psychologist called "problem areas" which I personally think sucks as a phrase but I didn't feel like fighting that fight). Either way, while we were relatively happy with the evaluations and placement - and it didn't matter anyways - I still managed to get a killer migraine by the end of the night. I guess they're mandatory following an IEP meeting, no matter how well the meeting goes. Anyways. On to more important issues. Lilly's daddy. I've said this before, but Jon is such a good daddy to Lilly. I worried once I became a "stay at home mommy" that their relationship would suffer a little - because I would suddenly be around Lilly all the time and Jon's one on one time would decrease a little. In the old working days, weekends were often spent with just Lilly and daddy outings - broadway, the park, ice cream, etc. These days, I tend to tag along and have fun with them, which is nice for me. But for a couple months, Lilly had totally become a mommy's girl, and only wanted me a lot of the time. But the pendulum has shifted, and Lilly is once again a daddy's girl. It's helped that this week I've been working again, so I've needed Jon to help out a little more at night. Jon's did bath time and bedtime routine a few times and Lilly loved spending time with her daddy. Plus, daddy lets her stay up late watching movies (this week it's "Tangled"). But aside from Lilly and Jon's direct relationship, there is an interesting thing about Lilly's daddy: he is the most superstituious person. Which is odd, because he's a doctor, a man of science, not all that religious - but he is so superstituious. For example, sometimes Lilly will wake up around 1 in the morning, and we have to go in to her room and put her back to bed - it only takes a few minutes, but some weeks it happens a lot, some weeks not at all. And the other day I asked Jon: "has Lilly been waking up at night?" And he says "Shhhh don't ask that." Because, if he admits out loud that Lilly's been sleeping through the night, it will "jinx" her sleep. And Lilly has not had a real cold all winter. And it's another thing that Jon won't let me say out loud (and probably by writing this on a blog I am jinxing it, right?). Because if I say Lilly hasn't been sick, she'll automatically get sick, according to Jon. And thank goodness she hasn't been sick though. She has a little cough right now, but it's not related to a real cold. I am shocked actually that our girl has been in such good health. Her first 2 years she had so much cough-related asthma and junky colds - with nebulizers, steroids, antibiotics, etc. But her third year in NZ she only got sick a few times, and in Charlottesville last year she only needed the nebulizer once. This year, in NYC, she's only been to the doctor for pink eye and because her "leg hurt" once. (Which ended up being nothing?) She hasn't even missed a day of school this year, except for vacation. I think I'm going to stop on that note, because I'm probably jinxing it myself, so that's all for now...

The you-know-what hit the fan kind of day

2011-04-14T04:03:00.000-07:00

So I went back to work this week, which is great, right? I'm actually temping at my old job so it brings in a little income, plus I have the flexibility to work part time.

Except this week is totally nuts. The job I'm assigned to is pretty much an "everything was due yesterday" kind of thing, and Jon's been busier at work than ever. I stayed up late last night working (and I hadn't missed those kinds of days at all) while simultaneously folding laundry. Lilly woke up 3 times last night, with a slight fever and a cough. Oh and did I mention, today is her IEP meeting, for which they have provided no paperwork, evaluations, anything?

So now Lilly's sleeping in, I'm hoping she's feeling better so I can send her to school, I have the IEP meeting at 8:45, her lunch is not yet made, I'm working all day after that...

And meanwhile Jon and I are multi-tasking at the not as important but kind of urgent "we need to rent a car immediately for weekends in May and June" plan because already Memorial Day is sold out in NYC, and we need to rent one to go down to DC to rent a house, and hopefully Montauk at some point.

So, that's our day. Gotta go pour my coffee and get dressed and make Lu's lunch... we'll see how the day pans out from here.

A couple video's...

2011-04-13T05:20:00.000-07:00

Lilly and her alphabet...

Lilly's dance class - I'm taping it through a window so you can't hear the actual music, but it's just a little taste of Lilly's hip hop class. (FYI the person talking in the video is a stranger standing nea me looking at her own kid, it's not me.)

Lilly and her cousins (and a friend) doing patty cake.

And in unrelated news... Lilly is no longer a little girl - she no longer has a side rail on her bed, because she's a big girl who knows not to roll out of bed anymore. We took it off when her grandparents stayed over last weekend, and when they left we didn't put it back on and she's done great! My sweet little big girl!

This week... by Lilly Sherman

2011-04-11T20:24:00.001-07:00