Well, not for us. Just the thought makes me feel panicky. Here are the 10 reasons why Lilly's little brother or sister is not going to become a reality for a few more years...
- I still haven't lost all the weight from being pregnant with Lilly! I always said I wouldn't think about child #2 until I lost the weight from child #1. And with the 60 pounds I gained with Lilly, I still have 5-10 pounds to get rid of.
- It's hard raising a 3 year old! Not that I don't enjoy every minute of it, but 3 year olds are definitely not low maintenance. I'm teaching my child her abc's, numbers, reading, sign language, and how to be a nice respectful little person with manners. It's a lot of work! Luckily we're out of the tantrum phase, but she still wants her own way some of the time, and I can't imagine juggling her plus another little angel.
- It's easy raising a 3 year old! I know, this is the exact opposite of the last one, but really: Lilly is such an easygoing little girl. She is my little companion, and I love teaching her how to cook and how to appreciate all the great movies (Dirty Dancing, Annie, Sound of Music). She's at the age where we can take her almost anywhere - to a play, to a restaurant, to a 5 star hotel, on a 12 hour flight, you name it, without really worrying about how she'll do. She's a great traveler and appreciates so much of anything we do together. Plus, she's relatively predictable - once she's asleep for the night, I can rest easy. Once we're buckled into a plane reading In Touch Magazine (I'm such a good mom) I can relax for the next two hours. So honestly I'd like to enjoy the easy-ness of having my one three year old before diving into the baby craziness once again.
- Lilly was such a good baby. (And good child.) Not that all siblings are polar opposites, but I hear more often than not when my friends have a second child that they are completely different than the older child. Lilly slept through the night since she was 3 weeks old. She's been easy-going and fun-loving. Noise doesn't bother her, and she's flexible on what we do. She's always been a good eater, except for being a little picky (which I can't really blame since I don't eat meat and would also eat pizza for 9 out of 10 meals if I could also!). So I don't feel prepared to play the lottery with the next one yet because I don't think I could win twice.
- I'm selfish. I mean, I'm not that selfish, since I work full time and am a full time mom. My husband works crazy hours and we have no family in town to help out. So I'm not completely selfish but I guess since I'm in my late 20's, and so many people my age are still single and childless, they get to enjoy the last little bit of their 20's and do things without being tied down to kids. While I'm not exactly envious, I do feel like I have a little right to still be selfish. She gets along well with babysitters so Jon and I can still easily go out to dinner or do what we want without feeling super tied down. Furthermore, if Lilly had a brother or sister to play with, I'd get cut out of all the fun. Now, Lilly and I play together doing either 3 year old activities, or activities mommy likes. Which is a lot of fun for both of us. Another kid would make Lilly not want to play with me as much - or give me less time to play with her. :(
- I love working. I love being a mom too, but the 60 inches of snow that we've gotten in Charlottesville over the past 2 months have shown me that I don't necessarily think I'm ready to be a full time stay at home mom at this phase in my life. I really enjoy the challenge of new projects and meeting deadlines, and at the end of the day I'm so much happier to see Lilly because we did have our time apart. Also, Lilly absolutely has benefited from daycare over the last couple years; she's had amazing teachers, met great friends, and learned so many skills. (Her latest skill that she's learned: she now listens and follows directions most of the time - which she 100% learned from school and is insanely wonderful.) Not that I couldn't work with child number 2, but I think it gets harder to juggle it all when you throw another child into the mix.
- I want to go to Italy. I don't know when exactly. Maybe next summer 2011? Of course I have my eye on a Disney Mediterranean cruise or an Adventures by Disney Italy trip. But I think it would be so cool to go to Italy and within either of those scenarios I think Lilly would be an excellent traveling companion to Jon and I - we'd get a little adult time but she really would appreciate the trip. (And the pizza.) Another child would not only put that idea off by a couple more years, but maybe 10 more years, because traveling internationally with 1 child is not very complicated; traveling with 2 would be insane.
- I'm 28. Jon is 33. We still have plenty of time to have kids. Furthermore, my sisters are my best friends, and they are 8, 13, and 16 years older than me - I don't see any downside to having kids spaced apart.
- Lilly is enough. I'm not going to say that I don't want any more kids eventually, but what I do sincerely feel is that if we couldn't have any more kids or if we decided not to have any more kids, I wouldn't feel disappointed. I feel so blessed to be Lilly's mommy, and have had such a wonderful experience, that if she were our only child, I feel like that would be ok - that I wouldn't necessarily be "missing out" on anything.
- We've been relatively nomadic over the past few years, and I feel like I'd like to settle down before tackling the "new child" thing again. We moved from Atlanta to Charlottesville, then had Lilly, then moved to New Zealand, and now we're back in Charlottesville again. Which leads us to our news...
WE'RE MOVING TO NYC!!! July 2010, we move to NYC for a year. And
we have no idea where we'll be after that. So, it would definitely be nice to be settled down in a real house and not an apartment before we tackle kid #2, and hopefully be in a more permanent situation.
So - you don't have to wonder. Lilly's little brother or sister is not part of our intended plan for a few more years. :)