Did you know that when Lilly was just a few hours old, the nurses at the hospital were giving her a bath and she turned blue? They immediately gave her oxygen, which she'd breathe in for the next 3 weeks, and called the pediatrician and cardiologist. The pediatrician burst into our room at like 2 or 3 in the morning - just a couple hours after I gave birth to my girl. Jon ran out of the room behind him, and for the next 10 minutes I sat there, crying, praying, not knowing if my little baby girl would die before I could hold her again.
I called the nurses station and told them I was getting up, I needed to see my baby. At some point either I or a nurse pulled out my IV and I ran down the hall. Running to see my girl, to see if she was ok, to see if she'd be all better just by seeing her mommy.
We were half prepared for the DS diagnosis; so that didn't bother us one bit. I could easily love that little sweetheart no matter what. But the medical stuff - the fear that we might lose her before she really got to know us - that was the hardest part.
3 weeks later, she was off the oxygen and was our normal little baby. When you almost lose the person you love the most, the bond that forms is indescribeable. It is what makes me want to spoil her and love her and give her everything and give up my own life for hers if I had to.
In the past 4 years, we've had additional close calls. The time Jon lifted her into the ceiling fan. The two times she ended up in the hospital for pneumonia/RSV/croup variations. The time she passed out from heat in Fiji and hit her head on the pavement. A tonsil surgery and the resulting dehydration a week later. A heart surgery that we were so scared about. Many nights when she was a year and half when she could barely breathe from asthma - with nebulizers going and sitting in the steamy bathroom for hours and standing outside in 30 degree weather, begging Lilly to catch a breath.
And Sunday night, after the best performance I'd ever seen with Miss Lilly being the cutest gummy bear ever - when we were walking home and I was holding Lilly plus a few other things and for some reason I just tripped and fell down and Lilly's head hit the ground. Oh my God, I was so terrified. What if she wasn't ok. She started crying right away - which to me is a good sign that she didn't pass out - and 5 minutes later we were upstairs and she was sitting on the potty, seemingly ok. As I held her and said "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry." I don't even know what happened to make us fall, but I felt horrible. She got off the potty a minute later and turned on "Camp Rock" and started singing and dancing, as I thanked God for protecting my girl.
Then as I finally breathed for the first time in 10 minutes, I realized my knees were covered in blood. I took the brunt of the fall I guess, and 2 days later, my knees are still raw and exposed and bleeding. I didn't even notice because I was so worried about my girl.
There have been so many times that Jon and I have prayed for God to protect our girl. So many times that we've been scared for her, and thankfully, just as many times that she's been ok in the end.
But we are so appreciative of everything. Lilly dancing on a stage? The coolest thing ever. Taking Lilly to Europe just so she can eat at the best pizzeria in the world? Justified. Staying in her room until she falls asleep every night, even though we should be making her more independent? Of course- I want to be there for every waking minute of her day until she starts lightly snoring.
The close calls suck. But how amazing Lilly is with her strength and her spirit. Our girl can overcome anything, and we don't take that for granted.