Typical Monday morning. The cleaning ladies were here (thank goodness; we have a tight budget but with both Jon and I working, it's one of those things that I can justify twice a month), so after dropping Lilly off at school, I had to be out of the house for the morning.
For the past 3 months I've felt nauseous, and am just now feeling like eating normal foods again. (Not that its stopped me from gaining 10 pounds in the first trimester, of course.) So, my grocery list was huge with all kinds of foods for recipes that we'd try out, now that I can stand the smell of food in my kitchen again. At first I stopped by Target - but found out they didn't have a Starbucks - so I quickly bought Lilly 6 pairs of socks and made my way to Harris Teeter.
Got my peppermint mocha (yes, the doctor said I can have one caffeine each day- although I wish I hadn't wasted it on that drink - next time, I'll stick to a regular mocha or plain coffee), and started walking down the aisles. I literally needed everything, and it was nice to shop for once without feeling like I'd get sick. I was debating the pros and cons between the store brand of fruit cocktail versus the name brand (the store brand doesn't have cherries, but it's cheaper, by the way) when I heard it.
This song makes me cry every time I hear it. And it came over the loudspeaker right after Cee Lo's "forget you" (which Lilly knows every word to, I'm not sure if I'm proud to say). The song was Natalie Merchant's "Wonder." It is such a beautiful song, and it just makes me emotional - and so proud - of Lilly.
It has lyrics like...
People see me
I'm a challenge to your balance
I'm over your heads
How I confound you and astound you
To know I must be one of the wonders
Of god's own creation
And as far as you can see you can offer me
Oh, I believe
Fate smiled and destiny
Laughed as she came to my cradle
Know this child will be able
Laughed as she came to my mother
Know this child will not suffer
Laughed as my body she lifted
Know this child will be gifted
With love, with patience and with faith
She'll make her way
It just hits me. I made my way to the bathroom in the back of the store, and burst into tears. Not sad tears, but just emotional tears because Lilly is so amazing and I am so proud of her. The words: "Know this child will be able" and "With love with patience and with faith, she'll make her way" - She is gifted, she is able, she will make her way, and she has already. Lilly is a wonder, as all children are, I guess, but moreso because she faces challenges that other kids don't and she overcomes them so graciously. It's astounds me that so many people don't see the amazingness of people with Down syndrome - and other disabilities - when I know firsthand how much we can learn from them, how much they enrich our lives, how blessed they are. Lilly truly makes the world a better place, just by being in it.
Song ended, meltdown over, and I left the bathroom like nothing happened and continued shopping. Doesn't everyone cry in the bathroom over cheesy grocery store music?