There are about 100 reasons that I am no longer working: they all amount to the main reason which is our quality of life. Sure, it is really nice to have a second salary: we could afford the vacations I seem to regularly crave; we could eat out a few nights a week. We didn't have to worry about sticking to a strict budget. But, our lives were chaos. Especially this year. Jon's crazy hours; Lilly's school situations; my hours extending into nights and weekends. We never had time to get anything accomplished. We were struggling for family time, struggling to get laundry done and the house organized. Jon would take Lilly out for a few hours by himself each Saturday and Sunday so I could work and get the house cleaned up. And I wanted to be part of it, wanted to enjoy family time with my family.
I woke up on this Monday morning and the house was a mess. Papers, toys, clothes everywhere. Total chaos. And I wondered, am I failing, now that it is my sole responsibility to get our lives under control?
But this past weekend, we had a weekend. The three of us hung out together, with my sister, brother in law, and nephew at their house in New Jersey. Jon didn't work. I didn't work. Lilly had lots of fun. We had family time and I shopped for inexpensive groceries at a New Jersey grocery store. (Because NYC groceries are outrageously expensive.) We came back last night exhausted and happy. We spent time with Lilly, she went to bed, and Jon and I read books and watched tv.
This is the quality of life that we were aiming for. Because I wasn't working until midnight last night. And Jon wasn't busy getting stuff done around the house, because he knows I'll take care of it this week. And Lilly was happy because her parents were happy. So waking up to a mess today: it wasn't exactly nice but knowing we had a great weekend, and knowing I can get things under control today was completely worth it.
I'm still somewhat sad about my early temporary self-imposed "retirement." Our situation led us here, and for Lilly and our family I would give up anything. I like being part of Jon and Lilly's weekend plans. I like that we are slowly but surely getting control back over our lives. I like that Lilly ate spinach not once but twice in the past week, because I had time to figure out how to sneak it in her food. This is what life is about, at least for the next 6 months... And just want to confirm: we do not yet have any idea where we will live come July 1st. But hoping we will find out soon!