Monday, October 20, 2008


This week Lilly and I attended two new events.

The first was a mom's group at church, during which kids between the ages of 1 through 4 beat each other up, picked on each other, and just plain acted bratty, while the moms sat back and drank coffee, or tended to their younger babies. It was actually really chaotic and stressful for me, the only mom who was paying any attention to my own child. I watched as multiple kids literally pulled and dragged Lilly off of toys that they wanted, snatched toys out of her hands, and yelled at her. Meanwhile, Lilly seemed to be the only child that truly understood the words: "Your turn/his turn" and "Share." She politely waited until a child was done with the tricycle/toy car/random orange cone before going over to it herself, for "her turn" and then a random child who had no interest in the item would see her with it, get completely jealous, and try to harm her into giving it up. So as I was the only parent with any view of the children, I would intervene on her behalf, and initially try to explain to the youngster that it was Lilly's turn, and their turn would be in 1 minute. And then, after being frustrated that they weren't allowed to claw my child into submission, and disappointed that they couldn't immediately have their toy of choice, would start to cry at the top of their lungs. And as the only mom nearby, I would myself feel a little bullied, as I could picture these moms running over to see me with Lilly on the toy, and their child crying nearby - so instead I gave in to the 2 or 3 year old's pressure and got Lilly off the toy in question, and started her on another toy. At which point another Random Child would run over and try to take it by force. What a world out there! Not trying to complain about other people's kids, but it just seems like this particular group could use a few lessons in sharing/manners.

The next day, Lilly started in a music therapy group class. In this particular session, there was a 2 year old and a 3 year old, and I'm not sure what their particular special needs were, except one shrieked most of the time, and the other was, according to his mom, a "hair puller." Which actually didn't need to be said, because as soon as he saw Lulu's long luscious locks, he started pulling. I ended up pulling her hair into a french twist (which is an amazing look on her, by the way), so he forgot about her most of the rest of the class, except for the couple times he clawed her nose. Nice. Lilly, meanwhile, danced, sang, played every instrument, and instigated new hand motions/signs and created new games during the session. At times I felt like she could have been teaching the class.

Anyways, my two overwhelming feelings after both events are that I am kind of burnt out on other people's kids (I'm allowed to feel that way sometimes right?) and on the other hand, I am so glad that I get to take my particular kid home. She, in her *unbiased parent's opinion* (j/k), is the best in any situation.


Heather said...

Thank You!

Seriously, I am SO sick of these "other moms". (I know, I's against the "mom code" to judge other people's parenting...but...) When I used to lifeguard (eons ago), I witnessed moms ignoring their children and their horrible behavior as they tanned with their tennis partners. I vowed then that I would be different.

And then just this Saturday at the shop (which is only 900 square feet..tiny!) a mom with four crazies came in and she just let them run wild, screaming, causing a path of distruction everywhere their sticky fingers led. I finally had to intervene and made them sit silently on a rug. So annoying. Take care of your own children...and you might have to put yourself SECOND for JUST A MINUTE.

Looks like its up to you, me, Lilly and Beau to teach these kids (and their moms) some manners.

ps. I would like my award now for longest comment ever. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

Augh, welcome to my clinic's waiting room. It is chaos, and the parents do nothing! I cannot imagine the frustration if it were happening to my own child....I am upset enough when somebody is bullying one of my clients!! I am always amazed when I am talking to a mom and they are completely ignoring the fact that their children are throwing/hitting/screaming. We have one mom who lets her kids run through the whole clinic. She used to sit in my sessions (and take phone calls....she was getting nothing out of sitting in) but I had to kick her out because the siblings were making therapy impossible.

Even more upsetting to me than that is the fact that other parents are so obviously picking apart other people's kids in disgust while their kids are total monsters. They are so insanely judgmental - I had a grandma point at a little girl who was leaving and say "What's WRONG with THAT ONE?" I couldn't even begin to address the things that were wrong with what she said! I think I said something to the effect of "Um, she's two and she missed naptime for her BROTHER'S therapy."

Poor's tough being the star of the show! It's not her fault that she's perfect :) I LOVED the picture of the two of you, btw. I love your blog :)

Anonymous said...

Glad you were there! I can't stand that and it happens a lot at some play groups.

So happy I'm finally catching up on your bloggy!

Lots of love,