A full plate... in Italy?

I've never been good at not-multi-tasking, if that makes sense. Never is there a time where I can just sit and relax. In fact, I think it relaxes me just a bit to be amidst the chaos. Organized, obsessive compulsive controlled chaos.

Like, we're moving. In less than 6 months. Packing up all our temporary "stuff" in NYC and somehow getting rid of it all, as it's more expensive to move stuff in NYC than it is to ship it on to the next destination. So we'll move with what we came with: 10 boxes and 5 suitcases and 2 strollers. Actually, it might even be just 4 suitcases. And a box or two less, as my work computer and printer will no longer be part of the shipment. But anyway...

And Jon has his contract signed, so we're definitely in the DC area, and based on the wonderful schools we saw last weekend, I think we're moving to the Montgomery County area of Maryland. While we loved one school in particular and the principal said she'd "make sure there's room for Lilly" I still want to officially be accepted so that we have that nailed down as another thing to check off our list. And, we're debating whether or not Lilly should go into Kindergarten or Pre-K (she's a summer birthday so we might hold her back - especailly if we see ourselves with this school for the next 10 years - it'll be easier on her to delay kindergarten now, instead of having her separated from friends later, if necessary). So those decisions are on our plate. And then there's the question in the next month of buy versus rent (I think we'll rent, considering how outrageous house prices are in the area), what particular neighborhood, etc. And the logistics of actually getting out of NY at the end of June and getting settled in our house in July.

On top of all that we had a snow day today. I knew it snowed last night; but last week when we got a little under a foot school wasn't canceled; but this morning school was cancelled. But I didn't realize until tonite that we actually got 19 inches in Manhattan. Crazy. Apparently we didn't leave the apartment today. :) But we kept ourselves busy with puzzles, shape/color Bingo, Shoots and Ladders (kind of - first time for a little lady to play it), books on tape, dancing with Curious George, and generally keeping busy and out of trouble - for both of us.

Apparently Lilly stayed out of trouble more than me. Amidst the chaos of a stay-at-home snow day, and planning our future, Jon and I did something just a little ridiculous. I mean, if you know us and you know Lilly, it makes total sense. But still I'll acknowledge to a normal person it's ridiculous.

We booked a cruise to Europe. A 10 night Disney Mediterranean cruise in July. Total insanity, right? Who takes a 4 year old - actually, she'll be 5 by then - to Italy? Who plans a European vacation right around the same time they're moving?

The Shermans, I guess, that's who.

It wasn't exactly impulsive. We've been talking about this for at least a year. And Lilly is just such-a-good-traveler, as I've said once or twice, and handles international traveling like a pro. And I've always wanted to go to Italy, and this cruise has such great cities that Jon hasn't been to either. And Lilly has never been to Italy. (What 4 year old has, right?) And she loves pizza. (What 4 year old doesn't, right?) And Jon's starting his new job a few weeks later, and it's the only time he'll have a couple weeks off for a really long time, if ever; and he's worked so hard for the past 8 years of training to get where he is professionally. And we're celebrating him starting a new job, and our big move, and Lilly's 5th birthday (which we could in theory celebrate at a Little Gym, but you know) and... somebody else has a birthday... right in the middle of the cruise...

I'll turn 30 on July 27. And I'm not exactly having a midlife crisis yet - trust me, I love my age and am actually surprised most days that my years are younger than I feel - it's been a busy 29 years. I've accomplished a lot, and I'm proud of who I am and where I am in my life and in the world. But, gosh, I met Jon at 18, finished college at 20, went straight to law school, married Jon at 22, graduated law school at 23, had Lilly at 24, and have been working hard at my career and as a wife and mom for the past 5 years, which has included big moves almost every year. I'm exhausted. And while turning "30" isn't such a big deal... it represents a new phase of my life a little bit - entering a new decade, Lilly starting real school, Jon settling into his new job, and our family beginning our new lives "permanently" in a new city.

So today we did the only logical thing we could do. We booked our cruise, and look forward to exploring a little more of the world together as a family. And I think it'll be amazing, and I think we'll see some incredible sights and have memories that will last a lifetime. But mostly I can't wait to take a break from moving and our hectic lives and spend some much needed quality time with my two favorite people. And a Mouse.

Whirlwind

We spent the weekend in the car. Literally. Which is unusual because, being Manhattanites this year, we don't own a car.

But as my husband accepted a job in Washington DC (did I mention that on here yet?) that will start this summer, we need to start looking at where to live and schools for Miss Lilly.

So we rented a car for the weekend, which is almost as expensive (in NYC) as flying to DC. But, it was so nice to be in a car. At first.

I was so overwhelmed with decisions last week that for hotels we hotwire.com-ed it. We needed to stay in Northern VA Friday night, Charlottesville VA Saturday night, and Montgomery County Sunday night, and had no real need to be anywhere particular within those areas. I have to say, hotwire picked nice hotels, for lower cost than we would have picked if we knew the names ahead of purchase, although it still makes me nervous generally not being able to obsessively compulsively chose what we're doing and how we're doing it. So hotwire did save me time that would otherwise have been spent mentally preparing for the trip.

We drove two hours after leaving our apartment in the Upper East Side on Friday afternoon before finally making it out of Manhattan. Traffic, even at 3 pm, was nuts. Plus the Garmin wasn't aware that a building had been put up near an entrance to a tunnel so we had to drive around it twice before figuring out an alternative.

Anyways, the drive down was easy, the Westin in Falls Church was nice (especially the hot apple cider waiting for us as we checked in), and Mamma Mia was on TBS right as we got in our room (how lucky is Lilly!). The next morning we drove around Virginia and Maryland for 3 hours with a real estate agent, looking at neighborhoods and trying to figure out what part of town we want to be in (and what we can reasonably afford, which is not much). Lilly was a good sport in the back seat with her dvd player.

We then drove 2 hours down to Charlottesville so Lilly could meet her old best friend from school for a playdate, and her boyfriend and his family for Mexican. It was nice to be back in town, and Lilly got so excited when we drove past her old school. That night as Jon and Lilly settled into the Holiday Inn (which was much nicer inside than we expected from the outside appearance) and discovered that Mamma Mia was on for the second night in a row on TBS (how lucky are we!), I went for a ride to my old stomping ground... Target... and rediscovered the joy of $10 items adding up to much more than I originally wanted to spend.

The next morning we drove back up to Virginia to look at a school we didn't like very much. Disappointed, we then went on a play date with Lilly's new friend Samantha, and they had a wonderful time together. They are just a few weeks apart in age, are both only children, and are so very similar. I really enjoyed watching the girls so appropriately play with each other and enjoy each other's company. Afterwards we drove to Jon's cousin's beautiful house for a very lovely dinner, while Lilly vegged and watched (anticipate this) Mamma Mia on her portable dvd player.

We got to the Hilton in Silver Springs Maryland around 10 pm and Lilly had a late bedtime of 11! Yesterday, Monday, we looked at 4 different Catholic schools that were all so wonderful it made me grateful that we were led in this direction. We think we've decided on one in particular but I don't think we could go wrong with any of the schools, and I'm happy that they are all so enthusiastic about Lilly being part of their community, and have the resources to support such positive inclusion programs that are proven successful by current kids with DS in the schools. As we left the DC area, my heart felt so much lighter and I began to really get excited about this next phase in our lives.

So it was a whirlwind weekend. In the car most of 3 1/2 days, dragged around from houses to schools to hotels. But it was a good weekend. And Lilly and I both cried when she got on the bus this morning. :(

It sounds like I might need to plan our next family trip somewhere...

Our weekend, in pictures

A laid back, relaxing weekend with family in New Jersey. Lilly was so excited to go, as we got ready first thing Saturday morning.... until she threw up on her bed after inhaling a bagel too quickly. We weren't sure if it was the bagel or if she was sick (she hasn't thrown up in 2 years) so we waited a few hours to make sure she was 100%.

Finally, at 3 pm, we were rushing out the door. Here's miss Lulu in the elevator of our building...

We hopped in a taxi, and arrived at Penn Station with perfect timing - 5 minutes later and we would have to wait an hour for the next train. We settled in happily. What an easy trip so far!

In Seacaucus we had to transfer to another train, which showed up perfectly on time. We again sat down and sang songs and settled in for another 30 minutes on the train, until we would arrive at our destination.

Except... 20 minutes went by and we hadn't moved very far, we just arrived at the first station since leaving the original one. And the train smelled like fire. And they evacuated everyone to the first car of the train. And then they evacuated everyone off the train onto the grass by the side of the train tracks. And then we waited... and waited... and waited... with police cars, firefighters, smoke clouds... yup, our train was on fire. Nice.

So we waited outside in the freezing 20 degree weather. No trains would come by to rescue us, because our train was blocking the track. And we were literally in the middle of nowhere.






After 45 minutes of waiting outside, Jon talked to the police and convinced them to let us sit in their police car. And that's Lilly's first (and hopefully only!) experience sitting in a cop car. Luckily she was in the front seat, not the back, on my lap; but unluckily there was lots of police equipment to keep her grubby little hands off of! No pictures - I wasn't sure the police wanted me to document random people sitting in their car.

We finally arrived at my sister's house and had a great weekend! Sunday we decided to take my other sister's kids to the Princess on Ice show with Lilly. Lilly loves her cousins so much!

You got it dude!

Lilly also loves mommy and daddy.
And MLK Monday, Lilly decided to start the day by running away to "go see daddy" because "he working."

This.

I think anyone who reads my words regularly can anticipate my thoughts on this.

But I can't not address this one more time.

It's a tricky line. I'm not going to tell you I'm pro-choice or pro-life. As a woman it's hard to say that I would want other people to decide what is right for something having to do with my body, my privacy. Yet as a Catholic, I highly respect the right for life. For myself, me personally, my body, I would not be able to ever make a decision that would end the life of a baby growing within me.

I'd like to say that each person is capable of making their own decisions. I'd like to say that if it doesn't personally affect me, a decision should be one's own private thoughts, to live with and deal with on one's own.

And yet it completely totally affects me, and Lilly, whether it wants to or not. The implications of the media and medical community highly promoting abortion for a child who is exactly like my own, using old data, misinformation, fear tactics - this is not "make your own decision." This is not "choice." This is persuasion of having medical tests to make sure nothing is "wrong" with your fetus/baby (depending on how you look at it) and encouraging terminating a pregnancy. Or ending a beautiful person's potential and future - depending on how you look at it.

I can tell you: there is nothing wrong with my baby, my little girl. Oh my God, there is so much right with her I can't even use the word amazing enough. I can't even say enough thankful prayers, I can't even imagine a world, and especially my life, without her beautiful presence. Lord, she heals me and makes everything right.

And that is my life, my decisions, that brought me to this place. It was God's hand, surely, giving me such a precious gift, but we accepted it with such a faith in the bigger picture, that there was a greater purposeful reason that our lives headed in this direction. Lilly is not an accident.

So the thing that gets me - is that I have my views on my life. And I have respect, as a woman, as an American, that those who don't share my views should be free to do as they wish, within legal boundaries.

However - this is where I get upset. Because the doctors are so one-sided. Because they are pushing negativity over potential. They are handing out lists of possible medical complications over showing parents a video of a four year old at her ballet recital. They are disclosing so much bad stuff and not giving a full picture of how this "situation" has so much beauty.

I agree with Becca - and honestly, if we - as parents - don't stick up for our kids, who will? I can't imagine being uninformed and being swayed by perception.

And furthermore - it affects my Lilly directly. If the media is putting out this type of news story - and the world is casually taking it in - then how do these people feel when they pass my child on the street. Sorry for me? Glad it's not their child? And when Lilly goes to school, when she gets a job, when she's out in the community as she grows up - will people limit her potential before they even get to know her?

This is why we fight. Not to necessarily change minds - but fight to get people the proper information. Unbiased accounts. This is why so many people blog about how their own child is making the world a better place, making people laugh, making us love stronger and live better.

A couple years ago I was passionately having a discussion similar to this. And a friend said: it sounds like Down syndrome needs a PR campaign, because it's really not so bad. And it does. And in the past year, our community has acquired a talented person to do just that, through the birth of her little angel and their family's story: I am loving Kelle Hampton's photography and words that make a person feel just a little more grateful for all the blessings in life.

So I don't know if I have a point, really, just my rambling thoughts. If nothing else, I agree that we need to encourage informed decisions. And wish that Down syndrome, generally, didn't have such a target on its back.

And hoping I haven't offended anyone. Like I said... these are just my thoughts.

This Morning

So all week we've known that Tuesday night we're getting a lot of snow. On Monday I stocked up on groceries (like a good Southerner, even in New York City). I prepared for the worst, as last year in Charlottesville when we were snowed in for 5 different snow storms, for days and days and days, all I knew to buy were frozen pizzas and Us Weekly. This time I have the bread, the milk, the water, the canned soups... and just one celebrity magazine.

Last night, it started snowing. The weather guy predicted 6 inches, then 8, then 10... it was going to be a good snowstorm. Not an outrageous blizzard, but definitely respectable.

All night, we heard snow plows hitting the streets. We're in Upper East Side of Manhattan, so being in the city it is high priority I think to make sure the city can still run properly. I think the goal was, every time a snowflake fell, to swiftly sweep it away.

I mentally came up with a list of things Lilly and I could do today on our snow day. I didn't make her lunch. And this morning I turned on the TV and...

9 inches of snow.

And New York City schools are open on a normal schedule. Seriously?

My friends and family in Atlanta have been snowed in for 3+ days for 6 inches. We were snowed in so many times in Charlottesville last year, I get cabin fever just thinking about snow.

And in New York City, 9 inches is barely a cause for concern.

It's not because it's nothing, but because they are so prepared. They have the snow plows ready, they have plans to get this under control. Before it even started snowing last night, the city was officially in a state of emergency, in preparation for the snow.

So this morning... I quickly made Lilly's lunch. I started feeding her breakfast. And with 30 minutes before her bus comes, I started to get her clothes ready for school.

And here's where disaster (or humor?) happens. Lilly's bus driver calls. They're downstairs waiting.

My girl is still in her PJ's, I hadn't anticipated that she'd be going to school this morning, and the bus is a half hour early?

So, I did what any respectable mom would do. I kept Lilly in her pink zebra pajama's, threw on yellow socks and her fancy black shoes (they were the closest ones I could find), put on her scarf, hat, and jacket, and we ran to the elevator. (Sorry Lil.)

When we got to the bus driver she explained that Lilly was the only child going to school today, for some reason. (?) Maybe everyone else wanted a snow day? Maybe other parents were snowed in so didn't have their kids go to school? Not really sure, but there was my daughter, the only child on her school bus, in her pajama's and a "what the heck is going on" look on her face.

Just when I thought my NYC experience couldn't get more bizarre...

Gushing, a little

I've said it before, in some way or another. I've spelled it out, ranted it, insisted it, used the word "amazing" so much that it's almost losing it's "amazingness"... but it's true.

I am so thankful for Lilly. Not despite of her Down syndrome. Not making "the best of a hard situation." But - I am so so so grateful - to the point of tears as I type this - that my daughter is exactly who she is and that she was made as she is to be a part of our family.

I am so bott0m-of-my-soul grateful that God gave me my little girl who has Down syndrome. Who has her minor struggles and minor delays but who mostly is just the funniest, loveliest, most beautiful - inside and out - person that I know.

I can't imagine someone as... purposeful, I think is the right word - as Lilly. (Perhaps this is part of what gets in the way of me wanting to have another child. Or maybe it's because I really want to take Lilly to Italy... and we can't do that easily with another child... and yet we can't afford it with the house and car and furniture we'll need to buy in July... yes, that too... so we'll put that random kid on hold for awhile longer... at least until Princess Lilly gets to visit Rome...)

But regardless, our lives, my life with little Lilly, is just about perfect. Even with its hecticness and its sacrifices and its exhaustiveness (and most of that derives from Jon and I, not Lilly!) I am just about the most content person when it comes to my daughter.

So in love with her. I said it when she was just a few days old. And still, today. The way she's happy about whatever she eats for dinner, as long as includes "dip" (chicken or fish with ketchup; Mexican with salsa; pasta with marinara). The way, when she sees dancing, she frantically says "Where's my monkey?!" and then holds him with perfect Dancing with the Stars posture and waltzes him around the room. The way she tells me "Love you too, mommy" even if she's the first one to say it. (Because she knows it's an absolute given that I'm head over heels for her.) The way she gets so completely excited when I hand her a magazine when she's on the potty - "People!" she exclaims, even though she can't read but she can sure recognize that word on the front cover, and can distinguish her favorite from my favorite, Us Weekly. The way she can lick every single bit of frosting off a cupcake without inhaling a calorie of the actual "cake" portion. The way she negotiates and filibusters her way into getting exactly what she wants - even letting me think that I've "won" by getting her to wear her mittens, even though she's been promised a cupcake, watching Dirty Dancing, and staying up late in the process. The way she has such a passion for not only learning but showing me what she knows - how bright her mind is - as she recognizes every letter in the alphabet and knows words that starts with each letter, or is learning to sight read "flash cards" that I make for her. The way she always tries to hail a taxi, even if we're walking, and usually can get their attention. And when she's so disappointed when we take her to church or to the circus, because she thought she was going to Broadway to see Lion King or Mamma Mia, or watch an episode of Glee. (I misled her on Sunday by telling her there was a choir at church... and she was NOT happy when she found out it wasn't the Glee choir... whoops!) The way, hardened New Yorkers turn and look at us for just a few seconds longer, breaking into a smile, for a mamma and her little girl, so happy and in love, bopping down the street.

I love my daughter. Our lives may be somewhat nuts at times due to so many circumstances, but I wouldn't change a thing. I wouldn't laugh as hard or love as deeply if it wasn't for my little Lulu.

A Nothing Saturday

In theory, we did nothing today. Lilly and I literally didn't even leave the apartment until 5pm, and that was for a walk around the block (pushing her monkey in the stroller of course). Jon was on-call today, and was at the hospital for a good part of the day. And in New York City in well-below-freezing weather with nowhere really to go, and no way to easily get anywhere (it's not like we have a car here, or a Target either), so it's not like we can just bundle up and go somewhere to kill time. And I've had a little cold, so I didn't feel very adventurous. So we stayed inside. Really, it should have been a boring day.

Except...

I am so loving the new mommying that I am doing in our family. Amidst the usual watching of Broadway clips on youtube, and Lilly reinacting parts of Sound of Music, and ending the day with a little Full House (love hearing Lilly's "You got it, dude!"); we had a great do-nothing day. For example: we made homemade pizza for lunch. Rolling out the dough, putting on the sauce and cheese, being directed by my 4 year old to "take pictures" through the process... I love the "moments" we have, and through it all, Lilly learning while kneading the dough, following directions, remembering how we did it last time. And creating such good memories of being 4 years old and making pizza with mommy and daddy, that we will all treasure.

Daddy helping...

Mommy helping... (disregard the no-makeup no-shower look)


And the pictures are actually loaded correctly in chronological order - despite what the sauce on the pizza may allude to. Because we actually split the dough in two to make two small pizza's. That way, Lilly can make one, and we put it in the oven, and she can work on the second while we wait for the first to cook. And, add veggies to the second one for the grown-ups.

And a little tasting... (her favorite part!)

It was so nice, that during the window that she might be inclined to take a nap (if she doesn't take a nap around 1pm, she's unlikely to fall asleep at all), I decided instead to have her make cupcakes with me. From scratch. (First time not even using mix for the "cake" part!) And Lilly enthusiastically helped, not even an hour after making the pizza's.

Tasting again... having picked pink of course for the homemade buttercream frosting. Note that the pink on her nails is old nail polish, not icing. And did I mention? We don't have beaters or mixers or anything in NYC this year (it's all packed away) so we mix everything by hand - with a old wooden spoon or literally with our hands. But, for the icing, we used a miniature food processor, and it didn't do a half bad job (see in the background):

And a little more tasting...

Happiness is being four years old and eating pink icing.

The result:

And another project: my ladybug now loves to cut. And cut and cut and cut. (And demands that there be picture-taking while she cuts.) She's been interested in scissors for awhile, but I realized recently if I drew lines on paper, then she would cut right on the lines. And would be oh-so-proud of herself. So I drew fringe lines...

And longer lines across full sheets of paper...

The paper I used isn't regular paper; it's actually old wide envelopes - which works better because it's thicker and better for a novice cutter. For some reason Lilly was cutting right handed yesterday although she's traditionally left handed.

And, as we struggled to think of more things to do today, creativity took over. We are always looking for ways to incorporate colors into our lives. So, today I took sheets of construction paper in 5 different colors (two of each) and laid them out on the floor. Then I told Lilly that we'd dance until I said stop and then sit on the color I said (so that she'd have to correctly identify which one to sit on: but it was slightly easier because I was playing too so she'd see which one I sat on first if she needed to - the goal is always to make it fun before I frustrate her). We've never played this type of game before, but Lilly made it even better by suggesting we dance "fast" and then "slow" and then stop and pick a color. So we did. And she got every single color perfectly. We switched it up a little by kicking fast and slow, or hopping, or clapping, etc. Later on we showed daddy the game, and only Lilly played by herself, as we shouted out colors when she finished dancing fast and slow, and with no mommy hints, she again got each one right. Love when playing and fun and learning mix.

Another thing we thought of today was using a small notebook that Lilly doodles in. It's smaller than an index card, and I decided to write each letter of the alphabet really big on each page of the notebook. As I wrote each letter in upper case, Lilly told me which one I was writing. She got all 26 correct. Then I wrote each lower case letter, and she knew most of them. So proud! Then she practiced by herself flipping through the notebook and looking at random letters and telling me what they were. And before bed tonite, Lilly showed her daddy what she could do, and went through all 26 both upper and lower case getting every single one perfectly. Proud proud proud.

And, while we were randomly coloring, Lilly drew a C and said "C" and a "J" and said "J" (completely unassistated with no prompting from me). (She knows how to draw the letters in her name - L, I, and Y - and O of course because it's a circle - but no my knowledge didn't know how to actually write other letters by herself.) Then we worked together and she wrote D, M, T, and a few others. Proud!

And not as proud, but still a little... Lilly drew so many happy faces today. Of course, most of them were on her legs and my tummy... in red permanent marker... but nice nonetheless.

And while we got ready for bed tonite, Lilly and I again had a "moment" singing "Slipping through my fingers" to each other (see the Wanderlust post a couple days ago) a dozen times. Cutest girl ever.

So, a Saturday without plans in bad weather can still be a whole lot of fun - if you're with the right person. :)